<Treguard> Stay right there! Oh it's you watchers. I do love surprises don't you? It's been getting quite cold in the dungeon, which reminds me. A quest is currently in progress, so here's a progress report. <Treguard> Alex, Rachel and Neil <Treguard> Sounded like a load of spiel

<Treguard> They scored three on a test and gained lots of help,

<Treguard> But on a causeway they nearly gave a yelp,

<Treguard> Further on, they met the lady of the lake,

<Treguard> And also the unholy king, making dungeon shake,

<Treguard> Make EyeCu's tremble and quail they did,

<Treguard> With mirrors as shiny as the land,

<Treguard> And luckily they passed the guard who always makes his stand,

<Treguard> Death is their transport, fear is their foe,

<Treguard> Will they succeed? 

<Treguard> Watch now to know

<Treguard> Sparkles light the screen

<Treguard> You activate the spell. A flash of light fills the room and when it disappears, your figure changes into a Skeletron. I shouldn't worry team, you can easily turn back when you need to. <Treguard> "Oh hello there. Did you see where that stupid dungeoneer went?" <Alex> "I ate him"

<Rachel> shall we have a go at him Alex ???

<Treguard> well lovely

<Treguard> "What do you want?"

<Rachel> "we need transport to level 2"

<Alex> "GET ME ACROSS TO THE OTHER SIDE!"

<Rachel> "NOW"

<Treguard> "Yes well, I won't charge you since you're one of his lordships creations. Get in the boat then. <Alex> (good combination there) * Rachel gets in the boat <Treguard> You climb in the boat. Cheron stands still and starts to stroke with his scythe. You are now being taken to Level 2.

<Treguard> "Oh Sh*t. My bloody Scythes broken again. I guess I'll have to go to B&Q again and get one from the garden utensils section. I tell you, it's terrible the kind of craftsmanship that goes into things these days. Whatever century this is."

<Rachel> "yes"

<Burkey> lol

<Treguard> Dadadadad

<Treguard> So eaten anything good recently?

<Rachel> "yes, a dungeoneer"

<Rachel> "lollipop flavoured"

<Alex> "and a nice waffle"

<Treguard> lovely

<Treguard> well here you are

<Treguard> now listen

<Treguard> Well done team. You have reached Level 2. Level 1 was only the beginning. Now the real pain..er test begins. In these parts, lie elves, and zombies mostly. Elves care deeply about their environment but are usually friendly. Zombies on the other hand and some of the inhabitants of Level 1 who have been carried here and were fed to god knows what type of creature. They still walk around the caverns below and could pose serious harm to you. Also, remember to check objects here before you take them just in case.

<Treguard> You are standing on a shoreline. Ahead of you is a portal. Further ahead of that is a large castle in the distance with only the tower being visible due to the thick tree density. You look behind you and see the black sea and also Death in his boat.  <Rachel> in case what ??? <Treguard> in case the object is false

<Treguard> "I don't suppose you're going to give me some Gold are you?"

<Rachel> ok

<Alex> "no"

<Treguard> Death says

<Rachel> "YOU EXPECT PAYMENT"

<Treguard> "Ah well. Seya you cheap son of a bitch!"

<Alex> "Bork off"

<Rachel> hehe

<Treguard> Now what team

<Alex> Dispell?

<Rachel> go for it

<Treguard> The spell has dispelled itself

<Treguard> since you exited the level

<Alex> Oh good.

<Alex> Then go to the exit!

<Rachel> where are we then ???

<Alex> (Rach, he's already told us)

<Rachel> yeah, go through the portal then

<Treguard> you exit 

<Treguard> You enter a room. There are two exits at the end of the room. In front of you is a large screen.

<Treguard> This team is a fairly simple puzzle. All you have to do is look at the four boxes at the top and see which one (A, B, C or D --FROM LEFT TO RIGHT) matches the picture underneath either by rotating it left or right. You will be given 4 of these sequences before you are able to exit the room.

<Treguard> Be careful! <Treguard> Sequence Number 1 <Alex> B? <Rachel> yeah, I'm confused but go for it <Treguard> Correct <Alex> It's ok, I think I've got it.

<Rachel> ok, I get it now

<Treguard> you are doing well team

<Treguard> here is sequence number 2 <Rachel> Is it C alex ??? <Alex> I can't see it yet. <Treguard> wait for the mirror to show it's glory <Rachel> no, it's D I think

<Rachel> I dunno, Alex ???

<Alex> It won't stay on long enough.

<Alex> Uh ..

<Treguard> pretend that the thing you turn is 4 sided

<Treguard> if you know what I mean

<Treguard> ignore the lines that separate the different choices

<Alex> Yeah I get that.

<Rachel> I dunno Alex, C or D I think

<Treguard> Well. Which one to you think that it is definitely not?

<Alex> D I think.

<Alex> Just a sec.

<Treguard> Turn your heads

<Treguard> The easiest way

<Rachel> well, turning the computer is kinda hard..

<Alex> It's C or D.

<Alex> They're more or less the same,

<Treguard> Also keep in mind that the triangles have equal sides

<Treguard> Time is ticking away team

<Rachel> what's the difference between C and D ???

<Alex> I don't think there is one!<Alex> AGH!

<Rachel> It's D I think

<Rachel> turned 90* clockwise

<Alex> Yeah, go for D.

<Rachel> go for it ???

<Rachel> D

<Alex> Yeah, we can only die.

<Rachel> yipee !!!

<Alex> Or is it?

<Rachel> there is no difference

<Treguard> There is a difference team

<Treguard> In D the triangles are turned a different way totally

<Treguard> hmmm

<Alex> They are round different ways.

<Treguard> Remember. All sides are equal length

<Rachel> C is D upside down

* Alex gets a ruler.

<Alex> Yeah it is.

<Rachel> this isn't fair

<Rachel> you're horrible and mean dam

<Rachel> *Adam

<Alex> Ah! I think it's C.

<Treguard> Correct

<Alex> Well, that was a good guess.

<Treguard> That took a bit team

<Treguard> But

<Treguard> the puzzle was against

<Treguard> you

<Treguard> That question actually had 2 answers

<Treguard> :)

<Treguard> NEXT <Treguard> Hurry team <Rachel> C I think <Alex> THERE'S MORE? <Treguard> Time ticks away <Rachel> It's definitely C

<Treguard> you have 1.7 minutes on this and the next one

<Rachel> Alex ???

<Alex> Yeah, It's C.

<Rachel> only because you cheat

<Rachel> C, C, C

<Alex> Me?

* Rachel screams "C"

<Alex> Me cheat?

<Rachel> no Adam does by messing with the answers

<Alex> Oh.

<Alex> Well, C!

<Rachel> there's 2 answers.... stop confusing me even more...

<Rachel> C

<Alex> C

* Alex chants "C ... C ... C"

<Treguard> Correct

<Alex> yay

<Treguard> add an extra 10 minutes on

<Treguard> sorry

<Rachel> but don't get confident...

<Treguard> Well done team

<Alex> A do you reckon? <Treguard> Treguard is still peed off though <Treguard> Sequence 4 <Rachel> it's none of the others, but I'm not sure if it is A <Alex> It's A or B, since the others have more than 4 things.

<Rachel> A, go for A

<Treguard> A

<Treguard> Correct

<Alex> YAY!

<Rachel> we are amazing

<Alex> A-Maze ZING!

<Rachel> this looks too... empty

<Rachel> this room

<Treguard> The screen disappears revealing the two exits at the back of the room. <Alex> And green. <Rachel> right door Alex ??? <Alex> Right door. <Alex> YES.

* Rachel goes through Right door

<Rachel> go up to the table

<Treguard> You exit the room

<Treguard> You exit the room

<Treguard> You look at the objects with curiosity. There are A scroll, An Apple, A bottle of poison, A small mirror, A Jar with the label Aspirins on it, A bag of menthol sweets.

<Alex> Read scroll.

<Alex> Wait, take food,

<Treguard> The scroll says:

<Treguard> You take the food first

<Treguard> "Surprise!"

<Rachel> apple or sweets ???

<Alex> Surprise?

<Rachel> the scroll ???

<Treguard> please wait

<Alex> WTF?

<Alex> It's Jesus.

<Treguard> :))))

<Treguard> A man appears out of nowhere. <Treguard> "Oh dear me! We'll have to get that portal fixed. Can't have cheap portals lying around. You see, I would have come in my BMW, but the local Ye Olde Petrol Station didn't have any 4 dragon star. Typical!" <Rachel> I am innocent

<Treguard> So. What are you doing here?

<Alex> "I'm selling these fine leather jackets ...."

<Alex> "Actually, we're on a quest."

<Treguard> Really. But what are you doing HERE

<Alex> Err, getting, clues?

<Treguard> Well you seem to be stuck in choosing which two objects to take. I know, since this is my first time. I'll give you some free tips. Here's a clue."

<Rachel> uh huh

<Treguard> "Make her feel better"

<Alex> ........

<Treguard> Now, by the rules of the dungeon, I can only give advice on one of the objects. What other object you take it up to you really."

<Treguard> And check your objects

<Rachel> has she got a cough or a headache ???

<Treguard> I don't know. The wisdom of the Forester tells me this

<Treguard> Who he is we won't know until episode 17

<Treguard> Remember. Take another clue

<Treguard> Is that it then?

<Alex> Is the mirror a spy glass?

<Rachel> what's on the table again ???

<Treguard> "Ok then. Farewell!"

<Treguard> A scroll, An Apple, A bottle of poison, A small mirror, A Jar with the label Aspirins on it, A bag of menthol sweets.

<Treguard> Would you like descriptions?

<Alex> Is the mirror a spy glass?

<Rachel> eat the apple or the sweets ???

<Treguard> The Apple is food

<Treguard> The Bag contains Menthol Sweets

<Treguard> The mirror is simply a mirror

<Treguard> not a spyglass

<Rachel> eat the apple

<Treguard> Remember. Check your items

<Treguard> You eat the apple

<Treguard> i.e. put it in your knapsack

<Rachel> yeah, well

<Treguard> Right. 2 objects team

<Treguard> Which ones?

<Rachel> read the label on the sweets

<Rachel> and read the bottle of poison carefully

<Treguard> Poison = Poison in a small green bottle.

<Treguard> Small mirror = A small hand held mirror.

<Treguard> Jar with label = The label says aspirins. 

<Treguard> Bag of sweets = The bag has lots of menthol sweets in it.

<Treguard> END

<Alex> Err .. Rachel?

<Rachel> I think we should take the asprins

<Alex> Mirror and asprin?<Rachel> but another clue ???

<Treguard> check your items tean

<Alex> Agreed.

<Treguard> check your itmes

<Treguard> have you checked your items?

<Rachel> no, how do you spell aspirins ???

<Treguard> ASPIRINS

<Treguard> What does the bag contain?

<Rachel> Is that the right way ???

<Treguard> yes

<Rachel> damn, that's my intelligent but over

<Rachel> I'm not allowed to talk about sweets or lollipops thouh

<Treguard> Hurry team. Sidriss and Merlin are getting pi**ed off!

<Rachel> what do you think Alex ???

<Alex> Asprins and mirror.

<Alex> That's my guess.

<Rachel> yep, go for it (no sweets for me)

<Treguard> menthol sweets

<Rachel> no, no, no ASPIRIn to cure someone

<Alex> No, take the mirror and the ASPIRINS.

<Treguard> You take the mirror and the bottle of aspirins

<Treguard> You exit

<Rachel> right door

<Treguard> Through the right hand door

<Rachel> maybe there's nothing in the bottle..

<Treguard> You exit the room. You emerge on a ledge. The ledge carries on to the end of the room where there is an exit.

<Rachel> go to the exit...

<Treguard> You go to the exit

<Rachel> right...

<Treguard> You go to the exit. As you go through, a zombie appears and starts to follow you.

<Treguard> You emerge in a room similar to the one before this one. There is an exit at the end of the room. <Rachel> aaaarrrrrrggghhhhh, it's scray <Rachel> *scary <Alex> Show the zombie the mirror. <Alex> Maybe that will scare it off.

<Rachel> yeah, go for it

<Treguard> You hold up the mirror. But it does nothing

<Rachel> f*ck off or I'll set Alex on you

<Rachel> okay, run

* Alex growls

<Treguard> The zombie is getting closer team

<Alex> RUN!

<Rachel> run

<Alex> RUN LIKE THE WIND!

<Treguard> You exit

<Rachel> Alex, you're just not scary enough

<Rachel> where are we now ???

<Treguard> You exit. You enter a small room. There are no exits, but in front of you are four numbered doors. <Treguard> Well team. You aren't at the end of Level 2, but you have appeared to enter a room of choice. Each door leads to a different path. But one of these doors will cut out the cavern sections of this level whereas the other three won't. It's your choice. 1, 2, 3 or 4. Choose Now!

<Alex> Strange, I would have thought my face would scare anyone off.

<Rachel> mm... so would I (j/k)

<Treguard> Well team

<Treguard> Decide now!

<Alex> Number 2.

<Rachel> shall we go for 4 (my lucky number) or 1 (my birthday)

<Alex> Ok, 4 it is.

<Rachel> 4

<Rachel> (it's on the right as well)

<Alex> Yeah, 4.

* Rachel goes to 4

<Treguard> You go through Door NUMBER 4!!!!

<Alex> Take the money!

<Alex> Oh, wrong show. Sorry.

<Rachel> ???

<Rachel> hehe

<Treguard> You go through the door. Bad luck team. You didn't choose the door that could have saved you lots of trouble but never mind. 

<Rachel> ooh, a pretty dog

<Treguard> You emerge in a clearing. Behind you are the caves you just came out of and in front of you is another exit leading back into the caves. Just in front of you are an elf and a wolf. <Rachel> which door was that btw ??? <Rachel> hello, we love nature ??? Alex, shall we try it ???

<Treguard> door 2

<Alex> Try what?

<Treguard> This wolf is magical

<Treguard> It can be in two different places at one time

<Treguard> I should talk to her

<Rachel> saying 'we love nature... remember'

<Rachel> talk to her

<Treguard> "Hello there. I'm Vestala and this is Logan. She's not my pet you understand, but I do care for her and protect her I will if necessary. What are your intentions?"

<Alex> Why hellllo ...

<Rachel> 'we are here on a quest'

<Alex> We just want to get to level 3.

<Treguard> What for?

<Alex> The cup.

<Treguard> "That is fine then."

<Rachel> 'can you help us ???'

<Rachel> please

<Treguard> "Listen. Beyond the entrance lies a maze of caves. If you help me I will tell you how to survive the maze. I've always wanted to know what county Stonehenge is in. Could you tell me please?

<Alex> Er ..

<Rachel> Alex, if we lie will she know

<Alex> Rachel?

<Rachel> Wiltshire

<Alex> Hold on.

<Rachel> go for Wiltshire

<Rachel> I'm sure...

<Treguard> "That's interesting. I didn't know that. Well, since you have given me some information, here's some information for you. 

<Treguard> Right here we are. hang on a moment while I pull it out

<Alex> ....

<Rachel> (I'm glad she's not male and saying that)

<Alex> LOL

<Treguard> Well actually I'm Asexual

<Treguard> :)

<Treguard> This map shows you how to get from the start to the end of the caves. The rooms with a fire symbol or tree symbol in them are there for guidance, so you can get your bearings. Don't enter rooms with an "X" in them as they are crawling with zombies and that is where they prepare their young for the time of feast. Remember, when you enter a room, ALL exits will be visible including the one you came through, so be careful.

<Alex> Ewww ...

<Rachel> goody, threesome

<Rachel> hehe

<Rachel> 0oh sh*t

<Treguard> Feel free to write this down

<Treguard> You have a few minutes to do so

<Rachel> I can't, Alex, write it down

<Alex> AGGGGG!

<Alex> Hold on

* Alex has to go soon,

<Treguard> Right

<Treguard> 15 minutes left team

<Treguard> till temporal disruption

<Rachel> damn, I can't cheat and do 'Save picture as'

<Alex> Should I copy the map?

<Rachel> do a screen shot

<Rachel> that should be ok

<Alex> Done.

<Treguard> good idea team

<Treguard> do that

<Treguard> 1 minute of map 

<Treguard> left

<Rachel> done too

<Treguard> Bye

<Alex> bye, and thanks

<Treguard> You exit automatically

<Rachel> thanks

<Treguard> You are at the starting point. There are 3 exits. Left, Ahead, and Right. <Treguard> Left, ahead or right team <Alex> Map says left. <Alex> So ... left? <Rachel> I don't understand the map, so yes

<Alex> It's ok, I got it.

<Treguard> You go through the left door

<Rachel> if there's a tree here, then I get it

<Treguard> You are in the vegetation room. There are 2 exits. Left and Right. <Rachel> left again then Alex <Alex> Left again, I do believe. <Alex> Yup.# <Rachel> where are we trying to get to ???

<Treguard> You exit throught the left door

<Treguard> THE EXIT which is the very top box

<Treguard> North East of the Fire room on your map

<Rachel> ok, just checking

<Treguard> 12 minutes till temporal disruption

<Rachel> hurry up then

<Treguard> you are doing well team

<Treguard> I'm glad you were able to write down the map

<Rachel> have we still got that sight spell ???

<Treguard> otherwise you might have had to memories it

<Treguard> There are 4 exits Far Left, Middle left, Middle Right, and Far Right. <Rachel> do we want middle right Alex ??? <Alex> I think we should skip the fire room, and go for the first right. Door 3 from the left. <Alex> Middle right.

<Treguard> You go through the middle right door

<Treguard> There are 4 exits Far Left, Middle left, Middle Right, and Far Right. <Treguard> ((((same picture))) <Rachel> yep, same here... unless there's something useful there <Alex> Hold on .. <Rachel> um... far right I think

<Alex> Far right?

<Alex> Yup.

<Rachel> but wait for Alex

<Rachel> yes then

<Alex> Fart right it is.

<Alex> Oops.

<Alex> Far right, even.

<Treguard> You go through the far right door

<Rachel> hehe... typo

<Treguard> I'm sure

<Treguard> very quickly

<Treguard> I hear moans team

<Rachel> right door again I believe... Alex ??? (when we get there) <Alex> Left I think. <Treguard> Hang on <Alex> Right will take is back. <Rachel> no, it is left

<Rachel> sorry Alex

<Alex> It's reversed.

<Alex> Yeah, left it is.

<Rachel> I know, I nearly screwed up then

<Treguard> You go through the left door

<Treguard> You're nearly there!!

<Rachel> straight through the door

<Treguard> "Well done team. You made it through the caverns!" There is an exit in front of you. As you look around you hear the moans of the zombies that lurk here. They come. They come!!!" <Alex> EWWWW... <Alex> RUN!

<Rachel> Are you cumming yet ??? hehehehheeheheheheh

<Treguard> You emerge in a clearing. The caverns lie behind you. In front of you are dense tree growth which carries on into the distance. There are two exits. One to the left and one to the right. You see a dark figure approach you. <Rachel> oh sh*t <Treguard> "Warning team. This is Medusa! Stare to long and you'll be turned to stone!

<Rachel> can we have time out at this point

<Treguard> NOOOO!!

<Rachel> mirror, where's the flipping mirror

<Alex> Mirror!

<Alex> Mirror!

<Treguard> hahahaha!

<Alex> Mirror!

<Alex> Mirror

<Rachel> and look away

<Treguard> You look away while using the mirror

* Rachel moves her head so she can't see the computer screen

<Alex> Hey it's my old English teacher!

<Rachel> it's my ex-boyfriend

<Rachel> hehe

<Treguard> You hold up the mirror. You hear shrieking sounds and watch Medusa turn to stone due to her own stare." Well done team, but even though Medusa now has a stone silence, she won't stay that way forever. <Alex> Right door. <Alex> door. <Treguard> You exit through the door

<Treguard> You emerge from the clearing and continue along a narrow path. You can't see into the distance as a low mist has swept the land. The path seems to go on forever, but you eventually end up at the front of a castle. 

<Treguard> 4 minutes!!!

<Rachel> I get kicked in 3

<Treguard> Ahead of you is the door which isn't locked, but above you a woman looks down on you. <Treguard> (ok 2 minutes) <Treguard> QUICK TEAM!! <Rachel> talk to her

<Treguard> "Hey you there. Yes you! What is your name?"

<Alex> Art.

<Treguard> "My god. The healer has come! I am not feeling well at all. I have a terrible stuffed up nose. Do you have anything which could help me?"

<Alex> Art Vandalay.

<Rachel> 'I'm Rachel the wonderful and he's Alex'

<Treguard> "My god. The healer has come! I am not feeling well at all. I have a terrible stuffed up nose. Do you have anything which could help me?"

<Alex> Uh ho.

<Rachel> yes we do

<Alex> We only have headache pills.

<Rachel> we have aspirin

<Rachel> that's good for colds

<Rachel> honest

<Alex> Crush and inhale them.

<Treguard> Let's see

<Treguard> "You dare give me an EMPTY jar of aspirins? Be gone through the door then and don't bother coming back again."

<Alex> That'll clean it up.

<Rachel> this is magical aspirin remember

<Rachel> no, it's a magic door

<Alex> Just exit.

<Rachel> I bet

<Treguard> 1 minute

<Rachel> run then (I bet we need a spell or something from her)

<Treguard> You exit

<Rachel> umm... that's a nice dress...

<Treguard> <<<GONG>>> Time Out!!