CLASSIC QUEST

Series 3.

Quest: The Crown in Glory.

Dungeoneer: Douglas.

Advisors: Richard, Derek and Matthew.

Home town: Weston-Super-Mare.

Team score: ½ out of 10.

A classically awful attempt this time, and possibly the worst one ever!

Level One: The team’s first challenge is the spectral scorpion, which they fail dismally, causing Douglas to get stung and lose a life force level. Through a dwarf tunnel they find Mellisandre feeding some green maggots. She asks Douglas an easy question, which the team answer correctly. Mellie tells them that the first step is the windmill. Next is the clue room, where they score only one out of three with Brangwen. With no clues as to the correct objects to take, Douglas picks up some gold and a key, leaving behind a gauntlet. They then pass the moving wall successfully in the Corridor of the Catacombs, before meeting Motley in the room that is usually filled with water. The jester is upset because he had wanted to have a bath, but the pool has been drained. He begins to rub himself with soap anyway, and a large cobra appears, unnoticed, in the pool behind him.

A team with any wits whatsoever would have warned Motley about this danger, but, despite Treguard’s relentless urging, they only whisper amongst themselves about it. (“Don’t tell each other!” – Treguard.) Motley eventually notices the giant reptile and makes his escape, meaning that Douglas misses out on whatever information the jester had to share. (“Thanks for telling me about the snake! I’m off.” – Motley.) The advisors calmly direct Douglas out, still seemingly happy with their dismal performance. As if to illustrate that they shouldn’t be, Douglas is quickly killed off in a bomb explosion in the next room. Treguard explains that they needed the gauntlet to freeze the fuse.

Summary: Completely useless from start to very early – but richly deserved – finish.