OUR TIME IS NOW

By Rowan DT.

 

A few months ago, I was working as a boom operator on a short film for a director friend and I saw something that fundamentally proves that the time is right for Knightmare’s return. I’ve written in these hallowed e-pages before about how a new series of Knightmare may not be quite up to par with the original, but on the whole it’d be a good thing to have Knightmare back on our screens. And, as I’m about to show you, now is the time.

 

We were shooting out in Surrey and, as I was being driven down there by the sound designer, I noticed something incredible in her car. Zippy, the zip-lipped yellow character of Rainbow fame, was sitting on her dashboard spewing out pleasant fresh smells and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Rainbow ran from 1972 to 1994, and I can guarantee you that at absolutely no time between 1972 and 1994 could you buy a Zippy air freshener for your car, even though the loveable scamp was regularly on television entertaining children.

 

So why is it that now, ten years after the show came off the air, you can buy ridiculous merchandise based on one of the characters? The answer’s actually pretty simple, and it’s the same one you’d get if you were to ask why you can see Knightmare (a show that came off the air ten years ago) every evening on Challenge TV, or why you can go into any video shop and buy a Rainbow video, or The Magic Roundabout, or even Dogtanian and the Three Muskehounds.

 

Why can you go into a games shop and buy a collection of eighties arcade games for your PC? Why can you get emulators that let you play games on old computers that went bust in the nineties? Why can you buy T-shirts with pictures of Gary Coleman, Transformers, Pacman and those ridiculous HOME TAPING IS KILLING MUSIC slogans you used to get on LPs?

 

It’s all retro! The people who are buying air fresheners for their cars today are the same people who used to watch Rainbow when they were kids. The biggest videogame market today is the twenty-to-thirty-somethings with disposable incomes - the same people who used to play arcade games in the eighties and computer games in the nineties. People buying DVDs today used to watch Rainbow, Postman Pat, Mister Benn and other such programmes back when they were kids. People like to re-live their youth for all sorts of reasons and the manufacturers are taking full advantage. Why do you think Knightmare is advertised on Challenge as that eighties cult classic so often? For the most part, the people watching the Challenge repeats are the same people who watched it on CITV back in the dark ages.

 

But even the younger generation born in the nineties are getting in on it. The eye-gougingly irritating Gamezville (aimed at either pre-teens or the mentally ill, I can’t quite fathom it) regularly has a retro spot, talking about games that are practically older than the presenters. Modern mobile phones always have simple, retro games on them and they’re getting a revival accordingly. The market for the old stuff is branching out all over the place, so a brand new series of Knightmare would have its audience.

 

In many respects, it’s a mixed blessing. A lot of shows and games from that era are far, far superior to the stuff they churn out today, so there’s no real harm in enjoying it now if you missed it first time around. But it does raise the issue of whether we’re just getting bogged down in the past, and there’s no real progress any more. Doctor Who was around in the sixties, and it’s coming back next year. If Knightmare were to return, it would need to be markedly different (while keeping the spirit and good points of the original) and handled very carefully if it wanted to avoid getting tarred with the retro brush, and ignored by the pseudo-forward-thinking retro detractors who’d rather play tosh like Driver 3 (or Driv3r if you’re an IDIOT) than Galaxian.

 

Tread carefully, team.

 

Some thought-provoking stuff there, Rowan. About Challenge using the phrase “that eighties cult classic”, it always seems to me that they say Knightmare is an eighties show when they’re showing series 4-8, and a nineties show when they’re showing series 1-3, which is, of course, the wrong way around! You're right about Knightmare having an audience at the moment, of course, but would a whole new series really live up to our expectations? I wonder…