The Eye Shield - Issue 33

ADVENTURE TIME

It’s Autumn 1994 and you’re about to take another quest through the Knightmare Dungeons. Beware, though, for Lord Fear will be watching your progress all the way, and will send his minions to defeat you wherever he has the opportunity to do so.

Treguard welcomes you into his Dungeon home. Once he and his assistant Majida have prepared you for the long journey ahead, you prepare to set out into the Dungeon and beyond.

“You must travel through dungeon, tower and mire,” Treguard tells you. “There can be no short cuts this time, so keep your wits about you. Your quest is for the Shield.”

You enter the Dungeon via the lavish new gate and find yourself in a square green room with a table in the middle. Here you find a key, a green-bladed knife, a red and yellow folderol and a bar of gold. There is a scroll, which you read: His tool of trade is missing. Some weapons belong to friends. Make your choice of two objects and then go to 5.

“Snip-a-snap, this one’s too smart for Jack” Snapper-Jack complains. “We go for easier pickings.”

Snapper-Jack slinks off, so you are able to leave the sewers. You are in a small blue room with one door. As you make for this, Raptor and two miremen run in to block your path.

“Hold it there, me hearties!” Raptor declares in true pirate fashion. “The game’s up for you, dungeoneer. I’ll just be taking you to Lord Fear, or you can try to escape and let the miremen have their fun. Either way, there’ll be no more adventuring for you!”

If you offer Raptor a green gem as a bribe, go to 28.

If you have an old boot and think you may be able to make use of it here, go to 18.

Failing either of these options, you are powerless to stop Raptor from enforcing his threats and your adventure ends here.

You find yourself at the edge of a large pit, from which the head of Smirkenorff the dragon protrudes. He is slightly groggy after a long sleep, but if you are well equipped then he might well feel like talking to you.

If you have a firestone and wish to offer it to Smirkenorff in exchange for his help, go to 33.

If not, go to 22.

The feather allows you to fall safely into level three. You land in one of the corridors of Linghorm. This great tower was built by Lord Fear, but now the sorceress Maldame is squatting here. You walk along the corridor until you reach a clue room. There is a jar that is labelled power to rule, a potion labelled sight, a red key and a short, silver wand. There is also a scroll, which reads: The key to Marblehead is the one who would be queen. Decide which two objects you wish to take and then go to 21.

You are in another green room, where Motley the jester is waiting for you.

“Hello, Helmet Head” he greets you. “You off on a quest then, are you?”

You answer this somewhat pointless question by explaining who you are and what you’re doing.

“I thought as much” Motley replies curtly. “Well, you must know the rules by now. I’ve got something very important for your quest, but if you want it then you’ll have to fork over my folderol first.”

If you have Motley’s folderol and are willing to give it to him, go to 10.

If not, you must leave without the jester’s help. Go to 15.

When you touch the card, the path below you crumbles and you fall helplessly into the abyss. Sorry, but aces are high in this particular game, as the scroll in the clue room warned you. Your adventure ends here.

You are in a small room that has a bench in it. On this you find a scroll, which reads: paladin. This is a powerful spell and should be used at the climax of your adventure. You leave the room by going to 23.

You are in one of Goth’s black corridors, where there is a barrow with some objects on it. You discover an old boot, a green gem and a white feather. There is also a scroll, which you read: Control your flight. Play high. Put your foot down.

Decide which two items you wish to take and then go to 24.

“Hmm, I might be able to make good use of this” Maldame considers interestedly. “Alright, dungeoneer, through the portcullis before you lie the docks of Linghorm. The Golden Galleon that is docked there sails soon for Marblehead, so I suggest you make sure that you are on it. I will give you a spell to get past the miremen that guard the ship. The spell is called SHADE. Now, leave me.”

Depositing the jar in front you, you bear Maldame’s advice in mind as you go to 27.

Motley takes the contraption from you and hands over a red stone in exchange.

“This is a firestone,” Motley explains to you. “And I’m sure you can guess what sort of creature you’re supposed to give it to. Well, you’ve got a long way to go – be off with you, then.”

You leave this chamber by going to 15.

“Oh, you useless bumbler!” Maldame shrills. “Leave this place at once, and may Fear fry your useless bones.”

You are forced to beat a hasty retreat through an open portcullis. Go to 27.

As you cast the spell, a paladin warrior appears before you. He blocks Lord Fear’s attacks and then chases the evil sorcerer from the room to the sound of frustrated cursing.

“Well done” Hordriss congratulates you. “You have defeated your greatest foe, yet you still cannot reach the object of your quest whilst it is imprisoned in that field. If you can release me, I will procure the Shield for you.”

If you have the wand from the clue room, go to 34.

If you do not have this object then you must abandon your quest at the brink of victory.

The correct answer is drag.

If you answered correctly, go to 2.

If you answered incorrectly, Snapper-Jack catches you in his enormous butterfly net and your adventure ends here.

The correct answer is Anubis.

If you answered correctly, go to 29.

If you answered incorrectly, Snapper-Jack catches you in his enormous butterfly net and your adventure ends here.

You are in yet another green room, where Stiletta is rummaging through some of her loot in a large chest. She spots you and comes over to meet you.

“Well, hello” says the knife maiden pleasantly. “You look like a fine, strapping young adventurer. Where are you bound, then?”

“Level two” you tell her.

“Hmm, not my personally preferred route to Marblehead, but it’s as good a way as any” Stiletta remarks. “I say, if you’re going to try and get down the trapdoor then I’ve got something jolly useful to help you. What can you offer me in return?”

If you offer a key, go to 30.

If you offer a knife, go to 20.

If you offer a bar of gold, go to 26.

The spell makes you invisible and you are able to sneak below decks and hide. When the ship docks at Marblehead, you slip off. You enter Lord Fear’s castle and walk along another corridor until you come to a place where two doors are set into the wall on either side. There are no clues; which way will you go?

Left. Go to 23.

Right. Go to 7.

You hold the ring up before you and the skeletron falls apart and disappears. The only exit from this chamber is the wooden trapdoor in the floor, which you proceed to stand on. You jump up and down a few times and the trapdoor swings open, ready to pull you into level two.

If you have the spell FLOAT, go to 8.

If you do not have this spell, you plummet downwards and are splattered all over the walls and floor of one of the corridors of Goth. Your adventure ends here.

You slam the boot down on the floor in front of you. A large magical version of the garment crashes into the room and squashes Raptor and the miremen flat. You leave this room feeling very satisfied, but find yourself in a place that quells the feeling straightaway. You are on a thin ledge that leads to a doorway. There is one large hole between you and the exit, and two blank playing cards on the wall just before the hole. As you approach, you see another playing card on the wall, just before the blank ones. You touch this card and it reveals itself as the Ace of Spades. As you approach the gap in the path, the two blank cards turn over as well. They are the King of Spades and the Two of Spades. Touching the correct one will surely complete the pathway for you, but can you be clever and play your cards right?

If you touch the King, go to 25.

If you touch the Two, go to 6.

The correct answer is footsteps.

If you answered correctly, go to 31.

If you answered incorrectly, Snapper-Jack catches you in his enormous butterfly net and your adventure ends here.

“Ah, my number four!” Stiletta exclaims joyfully as she takes the weapon from you. “Thanks awfully for returning that to me, dungeoneer. In exchange, you can have this ring. It’s jolly useful, because it disintegrates skeletrons when you get really close to them. Believe me, you will need it.”

You take your leave of Stiletta and go to 3.

You are in a courtyard that is overlooked by a high balcony. Upon this stands Maldame. She looks down at you disdainfully as you explain your quest to her.

“Oh, I really don’t have time for all these pesky dungeoneers that keep trespassing in my domain!” Maldame complains. “The sooner you get to Marblehead the better as far as I’m concerned – you’ll be Lord Fear’s problem then. Well, he’ll be yours, really.”

“Can you help me get there, then?” you ask hopefully.

“How dare you be so presumptive!” Maldame bristles. “I will only help you if you help me first. Well, what have you got?”

If you offer Maldame a sight potion, go to 32.

If you offer her a jar that reads power to rule, go to 9.

If you offer her a wand, go to 11.

Failing these options, you are doomed to remain in Linghorm forever and your adventure ends here.

You have reached the trapdoor chamber, but a skeletron is on guard. The reconstituted figure of bones raises his sword menacingly and begins to advance on you.

If you have Stiletta’s ring, go to 17.

If you do not have this object, the skeletron continues its attack and neatly slices off your head. Your adventure ends here.

You are in a green room with a large portal at the far end. As you are making for this, Snapper-Jack slinks into the room and blocks your path.

“Ah, well, look who it is” Jack grins in recognition. “You thought you were pretty clever last time, didn’t you? Well, his Lordship has asked me to guard the quest chamber, so now I’ve got two questions for you. If you don’t get them both right, your quest goes no further. Here’s your starter, so best be smarter. He has a canine’s head, and he governs dead Egyptians. Who is he?”

When you have an answer to this, go to 14.

You are in the Sewers of Goth. There is no boat to row you across, but you spot a door to your left. Out of the door steps Snapper-Jack, the fool taker who has a snapdragon for an arm.

“Snip-a-snap, look here’s Jack, mistakes are a-making so a fool’s for the taking” Snapper-Jack chants at you. “Ah look, a dungeoneer. Is it a fool then, Snapper? Let’s find out. I’ll ask you a question, dungeoneer, and if you’re a fool and get it wrong, then I get you! It’s a boring person, the pulling of a heavy object on the ground, and resistance. What is it?”

When you have an answer to this, go to 13.

The path is completed and you leave the room safely. You emerge into another trapdoor room. This is the way down to level three, but with no spells to help you this time, can you survive the fall?

If you took the feather from the clue room, go to 4.

If not, you are doomed to remain trapped in the inhospitable environment of the Black Tower of Goth forever. Your adventure ends here.

“Hmm, I’m afraid I’m just not in the market for that kind of thing at the moment” Stiletta tells you apologetically. “Sorry about that. Good luck with your quest, though.”

You take your leave of Stiletta and go to 3.

You have reached the docks of Linghorm, where the Golden Galleon is making ready for its voyage to Marblehead. As you are sneaking on board, two miremen spot you on the deck and begin to advance.

If you have the spell SHADE, go to 16.

If you do not have this spell then the miremen dispose of you in a way far too horrible to mention. Your adventure ends here.

“Ha!” Raptor scoffs. “Pirates like gold doubloons, not green rocks!”

And with that he knocks you over the head and you know no more. Your adventure ends here.

“Smart, but is it smart enough, I wonder” Snapper-Jack taunts you. “Here’s the last one, and then we’re done. The more of these you take, the more you leave behind you. What are they?”

When you have an answer to this, go to 19.

“Hmm, I’m afraid I’m just not in the market for that kind of thing at the moment” Stiletta tells you apologetically. “Sorry about that. Good luck with your quest, though.”

You take your leave of Stiletta and go to 3.

“Two gets you through,” says Jack, and he turns to Snapper. “No kidsey for you. But snip-a-snap, snip-a-snap, fool about and we’ll be back.”

Snapper-Jack leaves the room, and you make for the portal. You emerge into another green room. The Shield of Justice is propped up against one wall and protected by a forcefield. Hordriss is trapped in a skeletal body cage nearby, and he shouts a warning as you enter.

“Beware, dungeoneer!” he exclaims. “Lord Fear has trapped me here, and now he will surely do the same to you!”

Sure enough, Lord Fear strides into the room. He sneers at you from under the brim of his skull helmet.

“Well, you’ve made it to the end of your quest at last” Lord Fear tells you. “I don’t mean the Shield, of course – I mean your death! Now, you just hold still while I prepare my fireballs, and then we’ll get down to business.”

If you have the spell PALADIN, go to 12.

If you do not have this spell, you can do nothing to stop Lord Fear from flaying you where you stand and your adventure ends here.

“Oh, you useless bumbler!” Maldame shrills. “Leave this place at once, and may Fear fry your useless bones.”

You are forced to beat a hasty retreat through an open portcullis. Go to 27.

“Ah, that’s just what I need after a long snooze” Smirkenorff says dreamily. “Thank you, dungeoneer. In return, I gift you the spell FLOAT, which will help you pass safely through the trapdoor to level two. To open the trapdoor, just jump on it a few times and brace yourself for a fall. Well, off you go then, and leave me to slumber in peace.”

Go to 22.

You use the wand to dispel Hordriss’s body cage. The mage is released, and he uses his magic to dispel the forcefield around the Shield. He passes the object to you and you slide it onto your arm and hold it aloft triumphantly. There is a moment of sudden weightlessness, and you are back in Knightmare Castle. Treguard comes forward to take the Shield from you as Hordriss conjures up your trophy.

“This is only a small reward,” Hordriss concedes. “But then you have achieved what few have achieved: the fame. And with the fame, what need the fortune?”

“Congratulations, adventurer” Treguard says to you. “You have proven equal to the Knightmare challenge. You should indeed feel proud of yourself for this achievement for it is a testament to your wits and skill, no matter what phase of the Dungeon the challenge is based in. If you have completed all eight quests then you are indeed a worthy champion. Take from this place the wits you have gained and the courage you showed, and remember that you will always steer right if you follow the path to Knightmare!”