ADVENTURE TIME
Katie is in a blue cavern, where Elita is sitting on a box, looking very perturbed indeed.
“Well, well, team, you appear to have discovered a damsel in distress,” Treguard remarks. “I wonder if she’s on the lookout for a knight in shining armour.”
“Oi, you!” Elita snaps, jumping to her feet. “Who said you could come blundering through trapdoors whenever you felt like it, huh? Get lost, will you? I’m not in the mood for dungeoneers today.”
“Er… perhaps I could do something to improve your mood,” Katie ventures hopefully. “Do you need help with something?”
“Help?” Elita scoffs. “And just how is a stupid human like you going to help me get my dagger back, huh?”
“Your dagger?” queries Katie.
“It’s a little decorative thing, not big enough to do anyone any real harm,” Elita explains. “Most elves carry one. Hordriss has stolen mine – says he needs it as an ingredient for a spell, of all things!”
“I’ll get it back for you,” Katie offers.
“I doubt that,” Elita sniffs. “Still, if you do, you can call me, and I guess then I’ll have to help you in your quest. The name’s Elita; three times you must call to bring me. Look, as you’ve promised to help me, I’ll tell you something useful, okay? The third step is the goose. There, now get moving, face-ache!”
Her civility exhausted, Elita skips from the chamber. Katie’s advisors direct her out as well, into the level two clue room. On the table Katie finds a scroll, a key, a lantern and a rusty old dagger. The scroll reads: The path of truth is well lit. Fair exchange is no robbery; make the old shine good as new.
“Hmm, an interesting and unusual choice here, team,” Treguard remarks. “Be sure to choose carefully now.”
Despite the fact that the dagger is clearly a weapon, the clues in favour of taking it prove too clear for the advisors to ignore. Katie also takes the key, and is then directed out. She is now in Merlin’s chamber.
“Ah, you have reached a place of magic, team,” says Treguard. “But steps must be taken if that magic is to be within your grasp.”
“Quack like a duck, Katie,” instructs an advisor.
“Quack-quack,” honks Katie, feeling rather silly. Treguard and the advisors laugh wryly as the first step appears.
“Now cluck like a chicken,” giggles an advisor.
“Cluck-cluck,” Katie obliges, and the second step appears, then “honk-honk,” and the path is completed. There is a flash of lightning, and Merlin appears on his throne.
“Ah, very nicely done, Katie,” the old wizard beams. “You passed your farmyard bird impressions test with flying colours, but now I have a further test for you, and you must obtain full marks in order to receive a reward. Here, then, is my first. What appears once in Summer, twice in Autumn, but never in Winter or Spring?”
The advisors discuss this for a while, and then Katie ventures an answer.
“The letter U,” she says.
“Truth accepted,” smiles Merlin. “Here is my second. A tired old horse who’s always on your back. What is it?”
“Nag,” replies Katie, with the same quick wit she displayed when Brangwen asked her a similar type of question.
“Truth accepted,” says Merlin again. “Excellent, another pass with flying colours! The name of your reward is REJUVENATE, and as it’s synthetic magic, I hope you’ll have the sense to use it on a synthetic artefact. Now, farewell, and good luck. If you survive all, we shall meet once again.”
Merlin disappears in another flash of magical lightning, and Katie is directed out. She emerges into a dark cave, where Hordriss the Confuser is muttering to himself and throwing various artefacts into a bubbling cauldron.
“It seems that Hordriss is making a return to his warlock days,” Treguard chuckles quietly. “Let’s hope you have what it takes to win him over, team.”
Katie is taken up to Hordriss, who seems too engrossed in his activities to spot her.
“Er… excuse me,” Katie ventures meekly.
“What do you want?” Hordriss snaps, looking up sharply from the frothing cauldron. “How dare you disturb me at a most critical moment in this ritual?”
“I… I’m sorry,” Katie stammers. “It’s just that… I know you’re planning to use Elita’s dagger for your potion, and I was wondering if I could possibly persuade you to use this one instead.”
Hordriss turns up his nose at the rusty old dagger that Katie holds out to him.
“That piece of scrap metal is no use to me!” he thunders. “Be gone from this place, impudent dungeoneer, before I lose my temper with you!”
“Think of the words of the scroll, team,” Treguard urges.
“Spellcasting:” declares the spellcaster. “R-E-J-U-V-E-N-A-T-E.”
The rusty old dagger is now shining and sparkling like new. Hordriss is about to lower Elita’s golden dagger into his cauldron, but he stops short and looks at the dagger that Katie is now holding before him.
“On second thoughts, that is a much finer specimen than Elita’s little pin,” Hordriss muses. “Very well, dungeoneer; we will trade.”
Feeling as though she is participating in a Dungeon version of Pokemon card trading, Katie hands Hordriss the shiny blade and takes Elita’s dagger in return. Hordriss adds the sparkling artefact to his cauldron, which immediately begins to spout noxious fumes and sizzle alarmingly.
“Curses!” Hordriss coughs. “There’s something wrong with the spell! Spellcasting: T-E-R-M-I-N-A-T-E.”
There is a terrific bang, a flash of blue light, and both Hordriss and the cauldron have completely disappeared, leaving Katie alone in the chamber.
“Well, Merlin did warn you that the spell was synthetic, team,” Treguard grins. “Obviously the dagger was not rejuvenated enough to fool Hordriss’s spell. Still, that’s his problem, isn’t it? Time for the calling, I think.”
“Elita, Elita, Elita!” calls Katie, and the elf maiden appears in the cave.
“Well, I guess I underestimated you, human,” Elita admits sulkily, as Katie hands her dagger back to her. “Thanks. In return for this service, I gift you the spell RUST. You’ve nearly made it to level three now, but don’t you go using my calling name again once you’re down there, because there’s no way I want to face Morghanna – that’s your prerogative. Now, bog off!”
Elita skips out of the cave, and Katie’s advisors direct her out as well. She emerges into a large hall, where an enormous metal door is set into the opposite wall. There is a golden keyhole in the centre of the door.
“Well, here’s an invitation if ever I saw one, team,” remarks Treguard. “Don’t wait around, now, will you?”
Katie is directed over to the door, and she holds the key up before the lock. The door clanks upwards to reveal the Descender beyond, but a terrible whirring, clanking noise fills it as the Automatum steps creakily towards Katie from the interior of the lift.
“Beware the threat of the mindless mechanical warrior!” Treguard exclaims. “You won’t get to the third level with him blocking the way!”
“Spellcasting:” says the spellcaster with confidence. “R-U-S-T.”
The Automatum judders to a halt, and then collapses on the floor of the Descender. Katie enters the lift, and it begins to descend into the bowels of the Dungeon. It stops at a single open door, through which Katie is promptly directed, leaving the broken Automatum decisively behind. Katie has made it to the third and final level of the Knightmare Dungeon.
Will Katie survive the dangers of level three? Read Adventure Time next issue to find out, if you dare!