MY GAMESHOW GODS

Although Knightmare is by far and away my favourite gameshow (and TV programme, of course) of all time, I have, over the years, found myself enjoying certain other gameshows, particularly since getting Challenge TV in 2004 and reliving some of my old favourites. Here are some details about some of my favourite gameshows (my own Gameshow Gods, if you will), which you may or may not remember. Some of them have been reshown on Challenge, but some are just heady memories now. How many have you seen and enjoyed?

Countdown. (1982 onwards.)

With Carol Vorderman (1982 onwards), Richard Whiteley (1982-2005), Des Lynam (2005-2006), Des O’Connor (2007 onwards).

Is there anyone alive in this country today who can honestly say they’ve never watched an episode of Countdown? I doubt it. I used to watch this show after school when there was no good children’s television on, and I used to enjoy it. I still watch it sometimes if I’m at a loose end, and I still enjoy it. The sudden death of Richard Whiteley in 2005 strangely affected me, because he’d been presenting Countdown for longer than I’d been alive. It’s not nearly as good without him.

Blockbusters. (1983-1993.)

With Bob Holness.

I used to watch this one with my mother when I was very young. I was very pleased when Challenge bought it and I watched it avidly, but unfortunately they only have one series, which they show over and over again. This seems to be standard practice for many digital TV stations, a fact which I find quite disappointing.

Blind Date. (1985-2003.)

With Cilla Black.

My sister used to absolutely love this show; it was staple Saturday evening viewing in the early to mid nineties in my house. It was fun to laugh at some of the cocky young contestants, but my favourite shows were always the ones with the old people. Inevitably, there would be a message at the end saying that one of them had died since the programme was recorded, which we found morbidly amusing.

Telly Addicts. (1985-1998.)

With Noel Edmonds.

My parents used to watch this, and I gradually became more interested in it as I got older. My favourite series was the final one, which ditched the staple comfy-sofa look for a much more traditional running-around-aimlessly gameshow feel. My favourite challenge was Who’s in the Box?, where the constants had to guess which celebrity was hiding in a box. Clues were given by means of the celebrity sticking various things out of slots in the box; I guessed Buster Merryfield (Uncle Albert Trotter) by his war medals! In my humble opinion, this was Noel Edmonds’s finest hour, although I must admit to finding the excruciatingly annoying Deal or No Deal? strangely compulsive viewing.

Fifteen to One. (1988-2003.)

With William G. Stewart.

Like Countdown, I used to watch this after school when there was no good children’s television. Most of the questions were much too hard for me, but it was exciting when I managed to answer one occasionally. William G. Stewart was a very engaging host, and managed to stop the show from being boring, which it was sometimes in danger of becoming. I enjoyed watching the guy who got the maximum score of 433 in 1999.

Fun House. (1990-1999.)

With Pat Sharp, Melanie Grant, Martina Grant.

How they managed to get ten series out of this pointless gunge-fest is still beyond me! Pat Sharp’s jokes were cringingly unfunny, the games were samey and pointless, and the twins were annoying. Despite all this, it was still a really good show! The Fun Cart Grand Prix was undoubtedly the highlight for me, and I used to enjoy trying to answer the Power Prize question correctly, a feat which many of the contestants seemed unable to achieve.

The Crystal Maze. (1990-1995.)

With Richard O’Brien (1990-1993), Edward Tudor Pole (1994-1995).

This was a brilliant show, the most engaging part of which was to see how incredibly thick and stupid the team members were, and the answer was nearly always the same: very incredibly thick and stupid! Both hosts did a fantastic job, although Richard O’Brien made it very obvious that he was only presenting the show until a “proper” acting job came his way. Watching series 4, it is a shame to see how bored Richard has obviously become with the whole thing. Personally, I think Ed was an excellent replacement, and it’s a great shame that he only got two series. What is an even greater shame, in my opinion, is that Challenge have not renewed their rights to Ed’s two series, and seem reluctant to do so. Watching Richard’s four series over and over again soon becomes boring, so bring back Ed, Barbara the computer and Starbuck, the ship’s cat on the S. S. Atlantis, and let us have the full Crystal Maze experience again!

Finders Keepers. (1991-1995, 2006.)

With Neil Buchanan (1991-1995), Jeremy “the Voice” Stockwell (1991-1995), Diane Youdale (1995), Jeff Brazier (2006).

A fun and exciting romp, expertly presented by Neil Buchanan, who could be seen on CITV almost every day at that point. Neil and Jeremy the Voice did three fantastic series, but the fourth and final series was slightly disappointing, mainly because of the removal of the memory test games on the garage doors (which supposedly gave the show its name!), the replacement of the fun, exciting Fantasy Room with the dull, boring attic, and the completely unnecessary inclusion of former Gladiator Diane Youdale, who attempted (unsuccessfully, it has the be said) to upstage Neil at every turn. I must admit that I did enjoy the 2006 revival of the show, mainly because the garage doors game and the Fantasy Room (now called the Mystery Room) both returned. Although I would have liked to see Neil Buchanan shooting around the house on his Zimmer frame, Jeff Brazier did a surprisingly good job of presenting the show.

Supermarket Sweep. (1993-2001.)

With Dale Winton.

I used to watch this when I was at home during school hours, mainly when I was ill. I used to enjoy shopping with my mother at the supermarket, so I found this show quite engaging. I’ll always remember the time when I saw David “Pickle” Learner on this show. When the voiceover guy announced his name, I couldn’t quite believe that it was going to be the same person. But, sure enough, David (in his pink jersey) told Dale that he had done quite a bit of acting, and that his biggest role was an elf! What more evidence do you need?

Time Busters. (1993-1995.)

With Michael Troughton.

I only watched this because it was made by the same people as Knightmare, but it was a reasonably good show. I enjoyed spotting the Knightmare actors in it (Mark Knight, Samantha Perkins, Michael Cule and others), and that was my main reason for watching, really. The first series featured two teams per episode, fighting against each other to reach the Time Capsule, but this made the show feel cramped and rushed. It was a good decision to have only one team per episode in series 2 and 3, although I don’t think the show will ever be remembered as a classic.

Terror Towers. (1994-1996.)

With Steve Johnson (1994-1996), Francis Wright as Boris the Spider (1994-1996), Kim Frankleton (1996).

This was an excellent scary gameshow on CITV, which featured two teams trying to win eyeballs in order to go through to the final in the Stinky Sink. Steve Johnson and Boris the Spider did an excellent job of making the first two series great fun and genuinely scary at the same time – the losing team, for example, had to remain guests at Terror Towers… forever! Unfortunately, the third and final series was not as good, suffering the same fate as Finders Keepers. Steve was given a pointless female co-host, which I didn’t like at all. Kim’s main role seemed to be to explain all the games, which had been done much more competently in the first two series either by Boris, or by Steve dressed up as the ghost of one of his ancestors. The games (in all three series, although the order was messed around with a lot in series 3) were the Shrinking Room, Boris’s Tower, the Creepy Corridors and the Nightmare Room – brilliant stuff!

Incredible Games. (1994-1995.)

With David Walliams (1994), Gary Parker (1995).

A truly excellent children’s gameshow, involving three kids travelling up a tower block in a lift, which had two very different but equally good series. The first series was shown on Sunday mornings on BBC2, and featured David Walliams (of Little Britain fame) as the Incredible Lift. The team had to complete a series of challenges and earn four hundred credits in order to go through the roof, which would mean that they’d win a prize. There were four challenges in each show, which were always played in the same order. The first game involved a blindfolded team member searching for three large maggots; the second involved collecting rubbish on a very messy planet; the third was the Dark Knight’s deadly chess-like combat game; and the fourth involved swimming in a large bowl of alphabet soup to find letters and create words. The second series saw Gary Parker take over the role of the lift, which was just one of many changes. The team now worked to earn levels instead of credits, and were aiming for only two hundred instead of four hundred. The show was moved from Sunday mornings on BBC2 to Tuesday afternoons on BBC1, and many new games were introduced, including a school quiz with a spectral Victorian teacher, escaping from the Crystal Cavern, passing slime-filled radioactive balloons along a wall without being able to see them, and fixing some severely ruptured pipes. The order of the games was swapped around and not every game featured in every episode, making for more variety than the first series. Two games from the first series were included in the second series, namely the Dark Knight and the alphabet soup game. This time, numbers were sometimes used instead of letters, meaning that equations rather than words had to be made, which was a lot harder. However, as I said, it was a very good show.

Fort Boyard. (1998-2001.)

With Leslie Grantham, Melinda Messenger.

I’m talking about the Channel 5 version here, not the God-awful Challenge version with DCI Burnside from The Bill! I used to enjoy watching this mainly because it was quite similar to The Crystal Maze, but it was fun to try and guess the riddles and passwords. Leslie Grantham was excellent as the brooding Boyard; it’s a shame that the BBC tempted him away from Fort Boyard with great plans for his belated return to EastEnders, only to send him packing less than two years later when he did something slightly naughty.

Ice Warriors. (1998.)

With Dani Behr, Neil Fox.

This is something of a hidden gem, in my humble opinion. Okay, so it was essentially just Gladiators on ice, but the challenges were fun and the show was well presented. The background information and statistics given to each Ice Warrior were a nice touch. It only lasted for one short series, which was a bit of a shame.

Raven. (2002 onwards.)

With James MacKenzie.

What more can I say about this show that I’ve already shared with you? It really is the most entertaining and original thing CBBC has come up with for a very long time, and I hope it continues for many more years. James MacKenzie is excellent as Raven, although I like him better in the earlier series when he interacted more with the young warriors, and even had little jokes with them; nowadays, Raven is all business. Oh yes, and the less said about Raven: the Island the better!