THE BIG ISSUE

By Rosey Collins

This is the part of The Eye Shield that is fast running out of material, where we compare two similar Knightmare characters who fulfilled the same role in different series.  This time, the supposedly evil but easily swayed merchants, Julius Scaramonger and Honesty Bartram.

Julius Scaramonger: “The Merchant Prince” from series 5 and 6, played by Rayner Bourton.

Advantages: Not counting Smirkenorff (who couldn’t even talk yet), Scaramonger was the second new character to be introduced in series 5 (the first being Sylvester Hands) - and with him was introduced, arguably, the new Knightmare format.  I know that some die-hard fans didn’t like the new style of game play (although the shock of the new look in series 4 seems to have been worse for most), but personally I thought the change was a good one (not better). 

Firstly, Scaramonger had the honour of introducing the team, and us, to the spyglass, and I suppose ultimately Lord Fear, which I really don’t think can be a bad thing.  Besides this, he was also the character who was perhaps most involved in the first mini-adventures that were given to dungeoneers in the later series.  Yes, there were a few of these previously (Anthony’s abysmal attempts to retrieve Folly’s laughter in series 2; the pacts made between characters and dungeoneers in series 4...), but from series 5 onwards, the level-by-level tasks became a prominent feature of the quests, and in series 5 and 6 Scaramonger was involved with a lot of them. 

I think that introducing a greater degree of plot to the whole concept of Knightmare did it good, and in series 5 Scaramonger was a good character to help carry it; he was non-aligned, and willing to help Lord Fear as long as the price was right - all the dungeoneer had to do was make a better offer:

”Like all good middlemen; and take money from both sides!” – Lord Fear.

Series 6 saw the introduction of Scaramonger’s business rival, Ah Wok, which led to a degree of character development not often seen in Knightmare, and certainly not in characters who can boast only two series.  Scaramonger pledged allegiance to the Opposition when he found that Ah Wok was taking all the dungeoneers’ money, making him harder to deal with; Chris, who had to play out the climax of series 6, found that gold was no longer enough to coax a key out of Scaramonger, and had to resort to violence. 

In this scene, Scaramonger is drinking heavily as a direct result of his money troubles, and we hear mention of a hungry wife and children - another interesting little piece of character development.  And for those of you who preferred old-style Knightmare, remember it was Scaramonger who gave a little nod back to the old days by employing as his servant “Young Grimwold”, son of Mr. and Mrs. of the same name who provided some lovely moments in the very popular series 3.  Rayner Bourton’s performance was, in my opinion, marvellous, and he had an enjoyable way of bantering with the dungeoneers.

Disadvantages: Well, what a long list of advantages - and I must say that in stark contrast, I think the disadvantages are few.  In fact, I am struggling to think of any.  I suppose it could be said that Scaramonger never really provided much of a challenge - he only wanted gold or, a little later on, a knock on the head from a magic mallet, and perhaps didn’t take quite as much persuasion as Honesty Bartram (whom you can read about in just a moment).  But then, he was usually only a level 1 challenge.

Honesty Bartram: Bearded tradesman from series 8, played by Bill Cashmore.

Advantages: One of the invasion of new characters for the half-hearted attempts to revamp Knightmare in series 8, I shall start by saying that this mediocre Scaramonger substitute had rather a good name derived from his trade: Honesty, an ironic abstract noun, and Bartram from the word barter.  Simple, but effective enough to give dungeoneers an idea of what they were dealing with. 

Bill Cashmore did his best to make Bartram a humorous and loveable character, and in my opinion he didn’t fall too wide of the mark.  His running gag of searching among his person for the object of the dungeoneer’s quest, on the off-chance that he could sell it to them, could have got a little old; but as he only met two dungeoneers, he pulled it off just fine.  He had some enjoyable little scenes with dungeoneers, particularly Nathan, who had enough confidence and charisma to ham it up with Bartram and wave a gold bar under his nose, thereby allowing Bill Cashmore to respond with a nice bit of convincing acting as he agonised for all of a few seconds over whether to risk Lord Fear’s wrath.

Disadvantages: What was the difference between this guy and Julius Scaramonger?  I won’t be unkind and say there weren’t any - Bill Cashmore did a good job of making the role his own - but honestly, they did fulfil the exact same function.  Basic scenario: Lord Fear, in a moment of forgetfulness, leaves an important object in the hands of his merchant ally.  Dungeoneer spies, and overhears Fear telling merchant not to sell them said object. 

Dungeoneer finds some gold, persuades the merchant to exchange the object for it, and is consequently equipped to complete the level.  The difference was that Bartram only had one short series and very few appearances in which to attempt to entertain us with these little subplots. Incidentally, there was some confusion with Daniel’s exchange - it wasn’t at all clear what Bartram wanted, and in the end he persuaded Daniel to part with his much-needed Sight potion. 

Now, why?  Was he being incredibly cunning, and was Daniel supposed to push harder to persuade him to take his key (not previously having had the opportunity to take anything more valuable)?  Or was Bartram just aiding the disgruntled production team in their efforts to kill Daniel off and get Gideon the hell out of their nice quiet studio?  We’ll never know, but back to the point - Bill Cashmore did his best.  Sadly, however, Honesty Bartram was destined for the same fate as so many series 8 characters: not enough time in which to develop and reach their full potential.