ADVENTURE TIME

The never-ending journey through the Knightmare Dungeon continues, with the score standing at Dungeon 12, Humans 5. A fresh quest now begins as we join dungeoneer Calum at the start of level one.

Calum’s quest begins in the level one clue room. The table contains a small brass key, a bar of gold and a vase of rather sickly-looking flowers.

  “Don’t touch yet, team,” Treguard warns. “All these things must be earned.”

Predictably, the far wall transforms into the menacing features of Brangwen, the wall monster.

  “Stay where you are, human!” Brangwen orders threateningly. “You may not have passage until you have pleased me; fail to do so and I feed on you. I have three mysteries, and here is the first. I have sharp teeth; more than a few. I’ll not die if you run me through. What am I?”

The team chatter and deliberate for a while, but they don’t really have any idea what the answer is.

  “Think about where on your body you might run this item through, team,” Treguard advises helpfully.

  “Mouth,” says Calum at length.

  “Falsehood!” Brangwen declares. “Comb was the truth I sought. Here is the second. Take off my skin – I won’t cry, but you will. What am I?”

  “An onion,” Calum replies at once.

  “Truth accepted,” says Brangwen. “Here is the third. What is it that the more you take, the more you leave behind you?”

  “Is that a version of that hole riddle everyone always asks?” queries an advisor.

  “No, but it’s similar!” Calum declares in a burst of inspiration. “Footsteps!”

  “Truth accepted,” Brangwen says again. “Two is the score; you may learn more. The treasure you need if you are to escape this level is safely locked away, and you must discover how to release it. Remember, the first step is football, but it is not the next step. The quest is for the Talisman, yet you may not hold it.”

With that, Brangwen disappears. The advisors discuss the wall monster’s clues, and decide that taking the key would be a good first step to releasing the treasure of which Brangwen has spoken. They also decide to take the flowers, as the gold is clearly treasure in its own right, but cannot be the treasure they need as it is not locked away. Calum then moves on to the next chamber, which turns out to be the grand dining hall of Queen Kalina. The self-proclaimed ruler of the first level is laying out plates and cutlery for several guests. She looks up and frowns at Calum when he announces himself.

  “I haven’t got time for dungeoneers right now,” Kalina scowls. “Can’t you see I’ve got a dinner party to get ready for? I’ve got out all my best silverware, but somehow the table doesn’t quite seem complete. It needs a centrepiece of some kind, I fancy, but I really don’t think I’ve got anything suitable.”

  “Well, well, Calum, Kalina certainly is in a fix,” Treguard chuckles. “What a shame you haven’t got something suitable to give her so that she can complete her beautiful dinner table. But wait! Perhaps you have…”

  “Would you like these flowers?” asks Calum. “I’m sure they’re just the kind of thing to make your beautiful table complete.”

Kalina frowns dubiously, but she takes the vase of flowers from Calum and places it in the middle of the table. Happily, this brings a smile to her face.

  “Oh thank you, dungeoneer, they’re perfect!” Queen Kalina croons warmly. “Now my dinner party is sure to be a success. In return, know these two snippets of information as the truth. The treasure you seek lies behind the shrine that breathes the air. The password for this level is ocean.”

Kalina returns to her dinner preparations, so the advisors guide Calum out of the room. He emerges into a small cave where two long rectangular chests are leaning up against the wall, each with an identical padlock on the front. One chest contains a picture of a blue whale; the other is decorated with the likeness of a great white shark.

  “Well, a choice awaits you here, team,” Treguard remarks. “The treasure you seek lies behind one of these two shrines, but which one should you open?”

  “Hey, this is kind of like that game on The Crystal Maze…” starts one of the advisors.

  “No it’s not!” Treguard snaps. “It’s a completely original idea!”

  “Well, we should open the whale because it’s a mammal, and breathes air,” says the advisor, who is a bit of a know-it-all. “The shark’s a fish so it breathes water.”

Calum is directed over to the whale shrine, and he unlocks it with the key. He finds it impossible to remove the tiny artefact from the padlock once it has been inserted, underlining the need to choose the correct shrine first time. Inside the shrine, Calum finds a small green object that looks a bit like a bar of soap, but is hard to the touch.

  “It’s a dragon mint,” he tells his advisors. “This must be the treasure we were told to find.”

The advisors direct Calum out of the cave, into a pink room with a thin black door. Before they can instruct him further, a grey wall shoots in and blocks the door, before grating towards Calum and forming into a menacing face.

  “Password!” the blocker demands.

  “Ocean!” Calum declares.

The blocker makes itself scarce, and Calum is directed out. He finds himself on the large green mass of scales that forms Smirkenorff’s back. The dragon turns around to look at him.

  “Ah, greetings, Calum,” Smirkenorff rumbles. “Welcome to the end of the first part of your adventure. If you’ve brought me what I want, I’ll take you where you want to go. And you needn’t look so surprised about it – I know I don’t tend to get out much anymore, but it’s nice to take a little trip now and then to stretch the old wings. Well, what have you brought me?”

  “This dragon mint,” Calum replies, holding the green object out before him.

  “Excellent,” Smirkenorff approves. “Well, let’s not hang around all day. Sit yourself down in the saddle, and leave the dragon mint in the pouch provided if you would.”

The advisors direct Calum onto the saddle, and he places the mint into the pouch before him. Smirkenorff flaps his wings and takes off into the sky. The advisors see him flying over hills, forests and rivers until he comes in to land inside the courtyard of a ruined castle.

  “Well, here we are,” Smirkenorff announces. “Off you go then, and good luck in level two. Oh yes, by the way, you won’t get very far unless you remember this – the second step is tennis, but it is not the next step.”

Calum thanks the dragon for his help, then the advisors direct him off Smirkenorff’s back, down his tail. There is a portal in the castle wall nearby, which Calum uses to enter the second level.

What trials and tests await Calum in level two? Read the next Adventure Time to find out.