MESSAGE FROM ME
Welcome to issue 44 of The Eye Shield. Happily, the fanzine is still well stocked with reader contributions this issue, as Chris Stallard continues his countdown of level three performances in Close, But No Cigar, and Gary Day leads us deeper into The Adventurer’s Adventure. Also, in addition to all your regular favourites, I myself have provided you with no less than three interesting one-offs, you lucky things! Within this very issue, you can read about the five cockiest dungeoneers, marvel at the ins and outs of the Knightmare board game, and see a very old newspaper cutting that you might just find slightly interesting.
And as if all that weren’t enough, Martin “HStorm” Odoni presents another round of Knightmare QI. After the first friendly contest of this nature that took place on the Knightmare Discussion Forum in January (won by some clever dick called Eyeshield, of all the silly names), the second now takes place here in TES. I have decided to throw caution to the wind and run this as an interactive feature. Yes, I want your answers, readers! E-mail or PM them to me between now and Friday April 20th 2007, and I will publish the scores (along with the answers to the questions) in the next issue. I now hand over to HStorm (who, of course, has my eternal gratitude for choosing TES as a forum for his fiendishly tricky quiz) to explain the rules and set the questions:
If you give a correct answer, you get one point. You get up to two bonus points if you can embellish a correct answer with some Quite Interesting supplementary details. If you give a wrong, but unusual, answer, you’ll get zero points for it. Give an answer that is not only wrong, but is also clichéd and pathetically obvious, and you will lose at least ten points.
1) Who was Mogdred’s lover?
2) Which is the odd spell out? FIRE, FREE, FREEZE, FREEZER, SPLASH.
3) What does the following code signify? MK4, JN10, DN6, BN4, BN5, JE7, BY8, DN6.
4) Which is the odd one out? Blades, Spikes, Catacomb, Spears.
5) Give the name of the rude cavern elf who acted as Smirkenorff's guardian for two seasons.
6) Which is the odd spell out? FLIGHT, TRANSFORM, WEB, FLOAT, BIG.
7) In how many seasons of Knightmare was Mogdred the arch-villain?
8) What does this sequence signify? ISS, ISS, ZER, ARE, ERN, ISS, TCH, VIL, ISS, ELL, ISS, ELL, ISS.
There you have it, readers. Get those brains in gear and get those answers in! Everyone who enters will have their score published in the next issue, as well as a private reply e-mail telling them their score and explaining it fully. In the words of Jeremy Beadle, next time the star of the show could be you!
Jim Waterman took the time to write and share with me his thoughts about issue 43, for which I am very grateful. Here is just some of what he said.
The "Other Quiz Shows" article was great, mainly because I shared the same enthusiasm for Countdown and Blockbusters in my younger days as you did. I’m an equally huge fan of The Crystal Maze, and I’d also like to see the Ed Tudor-Pole series again. I always said that the contestants were screened for stupidity before they were allowed to take part...
Has there ever been an official "Where are they now?" for the Knightmare actors? We’ve got David Learner appearing on Supermarket Sweep, Lawrence Werber as a dentist, Joanne Heywood on at least two TV adverts, and John Woodnutt in a better place altogether. On that final point, I’m sure a mention in TES would finally put the Mary Miller/Millar confusion to bed - Lillith is NOT dead!
Thanks again for writing, Jim – keep those comments coming. I’m glad you enjoyed the synopses of my other favourite gameshows, as I poured my heart and soul into the article, as well as having to reach into the deepest recesses of my memory. It’s great news that Challenge is finally showing the final two series of The Crystal Maze (with Ed Tudor-Pole) again – let’s just hope it keeps them for good this time.
I have often thought of writing an article that chronicles the post-Knightmare television appearances of all the actors, so perhaps you readers can help me to write it at last. Let me know which Knightmare actors you’ve spotted in which programmes, and hopefully I can collate a fairly comprehensive list of their appearances. By the way, you can rest assured that Mary “Lillith” Miller is still with us, as are all the Knightmare actors, except for poor old John “Merlin” Woodnutt, of course. Have you spotted them anywhere? Let me know if you have!
I’m still hungry for feedback, readers, so drop me a line to tell me what you think of TES and/or Knightmare, to pass on news of any sightings of Knightmare actors, or to enter the Knightmare QI competition, at the usual address - eyeshield2002@hotmail.com - or send a PM to Eyeshield at the Knightmare Discussion Forum.