THE FASTEST DRAW IN THE DUNGEON
By Ricky Temple
Back in the here and now, Rio shut his eyes tight as he thought about his capture so close to escape and success. The last thing that flashed through his mind before he had blacked out was, “At least it’ll be over quick and I won’t know anything about it.”
“How wrong I was,” he sighed.
Indeed he
had been very wrong. When he had regained consciousness, Rio had found himself
tied up and bound in the great throne room of Marblehead. Lord Fear and Lissard
were peering at him.
“What fiendishness does your Lordness intend
to do to this intruder?” Lissard
inquired. “Would you wish for me to feed him to the Great Stoniness?”
“No, Lissard, he’d probably just give it
indigestion. And a troll with an upset stomach is not a pleasant thought, now
is it?” Lord Fear chuckled. “No, Lissard, I have a better idea.”
“Why don’t you just kill me and get it over
with, Bone Face?” Rio said defiantly. “I’m not scared of you, or your pet
tadpole either!”
“My, but you do have some nerve and spirit,
don’t you, my little guinea pig,” Lord Fear leered.
“What does your Lordness intend?” Lissard
asked again.
“Well, me old newt, you’re no doubt aware of
the problems with my legions of skeletrons. Oh, they’re good fighters, I grant
you, and cheap to make, but that’s the trouble.”
“Lordness?”
“They are so cheap that they break, you
clod! They’re only bones and transistors - one good hit and they shatter like a
mirror does when you look into it with your ugly features, plus they’re as
intelligent as Sly Hands, and that’s an insult to Hands! But I’ve come up with
a solution - live skeletrons with brains! We take our little volunteer
here and turn him into a skeletron, or at least a semi-skeletron. We leave most
of the body as it is but we alter his mind so he’s an obedient servant to me!”
“I’ll never be your slave, Fear!” Rio
yelled.
“Oh yes, you will. Take him away!”
The next
couple of days had been living nightmares that Rio wouldn’t have wished on
anyone as his body was mutilated and augmented with technomagic. His limbs were
removed and replaced with the metal limbs he now had. The process would almost
certainly have been completed and he would have been brainwashed, had it not
been for a lucky break he got when the apothecary that Lord Fear had charged
with carrying out this ghastly experiment, a woman by the name of Bethsemane
Saxon-Bryce, forgot to tighten his bonds on the table. Rio had broken free,
knocked out the apothecary and escaped Marblehead through the sewers. Somehow
he had managed to make his way back to Dunshelm and his garrison of Rangers.
They had been appalled when they saw him. Both Hordriss the Confuser and
Rothberry the Apothecary had tried to correct the damage, but it was all but
irreversible.
“And now here I am,” he said bitterly,
“probably about to be invalided out of the service.” He gritted his teeth “I swear I will get Fear for this. Him, his
Goblin Master, that slimy Atlantian and that witch of an apothecary!”
Just then
his dark and gloomy thoughts were interrupted by a faint humming noise. It was
his spyglass. All Rangers were issued with one so as to keep in touch with each
other and their chief.
“Must have made up his mind,” Rio thought to
himself. “Oh well, best get this over with.” He reluctantly got his spyglass
out of the pocket of his jacket that was hanging on the hut door and activated
it. Sure enough, the face of his chief appeared.
“Good evening, Rio. How are you?” the chief
enquired politely.
“He’s trying to soften the blow by making
small talk,” Rio said to himself. “Fine, sir, but I’m rather bored and would
like to know when I’m coming back to active duty.” Rio wasn’t in the mood for
beating about the bush. Just discharge me and get it over with, he
thought, and gritted his teeth.
“Yes, about that, Rio… you know my feeling
on this matter. I mean, you’ve been very seriously maimed and Heaven only knows
what damage that technomagic has done to your body that we don’t yet know
about. I’ve got to take your welfare and the welfare of the other Rangers into
consideration. You could pose a risk to them should you suffer any side-effects
from this ordeal whilst on active duty. So a decision has had to be made as to
your future.”
“Here it comes.” Rio readied himself.
“I was of the opinion that it would be best
for all concerned if you were to be honourably discharged, with full benefits.”
Rio’s hart sank. “However,” the chief continued, and Rio’s ears pricked up.
Could it be? “Dungeon Master Treguard was of another opinion. He feels you
should be given a chance to prove you can still cope with fieldwork.”
Rio
couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was being reprieved, and the chief
still wasn’t finished. “So consider yourself back on active service. You’re to
report to Knightmare Castle first thing in the morning. The Dungeon Master has
an assignment lined up for you. So get some rest and good luck, Rio.”
The chief’s
face faded from the spyglass. Rio couldn’t move for a moment or two; he didn’t
dare in case this was all a dream and he woke himself up. He was going to get
another chance, a chance to prove he could still do his job as well as he had
before. He went back to bed. Tomorrow would be a new start for him, a new day
and a new assignment, one chosen for him by the Dungeon Master himself! He
would make the most of this. He would succeed in whatever task Treguard set
him; that would be his revenge against Lord Fear - to prove that, in spite of
what he had done to him, what he had put him through, and despite the damage
done to his body, he was still able to fight the Opposition forces and win!
With these
thoughts in his mind Rio drifted off to sleep. It was the first restful night’s
sleep he had had in a long while.