ADVENTURE TIME

As the never-ending journey continues, the Dungeon leads 14-6. Dan has just landed in level two, where his adventure now continues.

Dan is in a blue cave that contains a raised blue platform. On the platform sits a bottle of green glass.

“Well, team, you know what curiosity did to the cat, but I don’t think that particular moggy was questing in my Dungeon at the time,” Treguard chuckles. “If your quest should fail because hesitation and indecision cause you miss a vital clue, you’ll have no one to blame but yourselves.”

The team decide that Treguard is telling them to open the bottle, so they instruct Dan to do this. As Dan uncorks the stopper, a flash of lightning occurs and a large, transparent image of Merlin appears in the room.

“Ah, you have found my little calling card, dungeoneer,” the wizard’s voice says distantly. “Jolly good for you. This is only my image, of course. If you want to reach level three, you’ll have to find me in person!”

“How do I do that?” asks Dan.

“Just follow your nose, of course,” Merlin replies. “You will find, however, that I am not as easy to reach as you might think; magic will be required, I’m afraid. I myself cannot give you any at present, but there is one vital piece of information I have for you: the third step is the clap…”

Merlin’s voice becomes fainter as his image begins to fade away, but the advisors manage to hear the third step. It is obvious that nothing further can be achieved in this chamber, so Dan is directed out, into Merlin’s somewhat unstable throne room.

“Hmm, well I can’t imagine that finding Merlin is going to be that easy this time,” Treguard considers. “However, the usual challenge is still presenting itself to you, team, and you should know by now what steps you must take to complete it.”

Dan crawls on the floor, summoning the first step. He then shuffles forward on his hands and knees, summoning the second. Finally, he rises to his feet and brings his hands together in a loud clap. The third step appears, and Dan reaches the magic symbol. There is a thunderous crash, a flash of lightning, and Hordriss appears on the throne.

“…really do think that duties such as this are beneath one…” he is in the middle of saying to someone, but he stops speaking when he realises what has happened. “Ah, yes, greetings, young dungeoneer. I am Hordriss the Confuser, as I’m sure you already know, and I am here to administer your test. I seek two truths from you, and I must have both if you are to earn the use of one of my awesomely powerful spells…”

“Do get on with it, Hordriss,” Treguard yawns with mock boredom. “We haven’t got all day, you know.”

“Very well,” Hordriss mumbles sulkily. “Right then, Dan, here is my first. I give life to all, but in large volumes I can bring death and destruction. In my purest form, I am completely without colour or odour. What am I?”

The team commence their whispered discussion, and soon manage to come up with an answer.

“Water,” says Dan.

“Truth accepted,” Hordriss replies. “Here is my second. I come from beneath the earth, but when I visit humans they run in fear. I am always hungry, and I’ll eat almost anything. My red anger can be easily detected. What am I?”

The advisors are fairly sure of their answer, although Dan is not convinced. However, at a loss for anything else to say, he relays it to Hordriss.

“Fire,” Dan says uncertainly.

“Falsehood,” Hordriss tuts. “Lava was the truth I sought. Well, you blew that one, didn’t you, if you’ll pardon the pun. Now you’ll have to carry on without my magical aid. I wouldn’t rate your chances, but there we are. Farewell, then.”

Hordriss disappears in another magical flash. Dejectedly, the advisors direct Dan out of the room.

He emerges into a wooden-vaulted cave, where a figure in red and yellow is standing perfectly still in the middle of the chamber, his arms and legs arranged in an intricate pose.

“Come now, Motley, we all know that statuesque poses are not your particular forte,” Treguard chuckles, “although I’ve never been sure what actually is, of course. Anyway, cease this foolishness, and get on with what you’ve been told to do.”

“All right then, guv,” Motley agrees, shaking himself and resuming his normal stance. “Just thought I’d try something a bit different for a change, but it don’t half give you cramp! Hello, Helmet Head. What’s your garb, then?”

“Dan,” comes the reply.

“Well, you know, Dan, I haven’t had a fresh joke in my act for years,” Motley sighs wistfully. “I guess that’s why no one listens to it anymore. Anyway, you tell me a joke I haven’t heard before, and I’ll make it worth your while.”

“All right,” Dan agrees. “Why did the golfer take two pairs of socks to the golf course?”

“Er, I dunno,” Motley puzzles, scratching his head.

“In case he got a hole in one,” Dan grins widely.

“Ooh, terrible,” Motley winces. “Still, it’s better than anything I’ve got at the moment, so I suppose it’ll do. All right then, Dan, I gift you with the spell RUBBLE. This will allow you to gain entry to the mining tunnel, where Merlin is waiting for you. Hmm, well, that’s assuming you get that far, of course. See ya!”

With that, Motley skips out of the cave. The advisors direct Dan out, feeling in higher spirits now, but these are soon dampened when they see which chamber their dungeoneer has arrived in.

There is a colossal face on the far wall, with writhing snakes growing out of its scalp in place of hair.

“Extreme warning, team!” Treguard exclaims. “This is Medusa, and Dan needs some form of protection against her stare if he is to avoid being turned into stone… but of course, you haven’t any!”

There is a grating sound as Dan’s entire body transforms into stone. The screen turns black, and the Dungeon bell tolls once more.

“Ooh, nasty!” Treguard grins with relish. “It looks like you won’t be making your way through to Merlin now, team. You needed Hordriss’s magic to freeze Medusa’s stare, but you just weren’t bright enough when it came to the crunch. Still, Dan should be flesh and bone once more when you meet up with him, though I can’t guarantee it. If he’s still a statue, perhaps you can try out that RUBBLE spell on him and see what happens. Spellcasting: D-I-S-M-I-S-S!”

Will the next dungeoneer to answer the Knightmare challenge prove more adept than Dan and co? Read the next Adventure Time to find out.