A great Knightmare joke...

[GrimaldineGrimwold]

Elita's mouth is so big that when she coughed one day she produced the whole contents of the Sewers of Goth.

[GrimaldineGrimwold]

And Elita's mouth is so filthy Lissard and the Miremen treat is as a home from home.

[Emii]

Elita's mouth is so big and foul, after eating she has to pick the goblins out with a pitchfork...

[Ark]

I'm not saying that Elita's mouth is big, but when she went to treat a mouth ulcer once, I heard Bumptious' voice coming from inside saying "We'll need a lot more powder here..."

GG: Sorry, meant no offence. If you want, I'll put a bucket on my head, wear my old paperboy's bag, hold a twig and a jar of jam in my hands and offer to find you a spell...

[JamesA]

Elita's mouth is so big that it recently tried transporting a thousand asylum seekers  :D

[JamesA]

So when I told Lissard that Raptor was to take over his job, he was green with envy  ;D

[GrimaldineGrimwold]

Elita's mouth is so big that Tim Child originally hired her not to act, but to store all the props, costumes and equipment in her gob.

[GrimaldineGrimwold]

Elita's mouth is so big and foul, after eating she has to pick the goblins out with a pitchfork...

LOL.

[GrimaldineGrimwold]

I'm not saying that Elita's mouth is big, but when she went to treat a mouth ulcer once, I heard Bumptious' voice coming from inside saying "We'll need a lot more powder here..."

GG: Sorry, meant no offence. If you want, I'll put a bucket on my head, wear my old paperboy's bag, hold a twig and a jar of jam in my hands and offer to find you a spell...

Between Emii, Debz and Ark's posts, I always seem to be laughing. Well, Ark, even though I wasn't really offended, an UNBINDING spell would be helpful. Or if you're feeling lazy, a bone for Festus would do.

[GrandDizzy]

What have I started here!? I go away for a couple of weeks and this thread descends into a flood of generic big-mouth jokes! Good job I'm back with a sixth joke...

Man: Doctor, Doctor, I've watched Knightmare so much I'm suffering from hallucenations.

Doctor: Ooh, nasty!

[GrandDizzy]

#7:

Q: Why is it so hard to get an interview with former Knightmare contestants?

A: Because they're always sidestepping the questions.

[GrandDizzy]

#8:

Q: What do you call a dungeon master who protects the royal kitchen from intruders?

A: Tray guard.

[Ark]

Between Emii, Debz and Ark's posts, I always seem to be laughing. Well, Ark, even though I wasn't really offended, an UNBINDING spell would be helpful. Or if you're feeling lazy, a bone for Festus would do.

Er...well, it seemed like a good idea at the time! You know, combining a large bone with an RELEASER spell to release your two sides, the best of both worlds? Unfortunately, I kind of mis-spelt the spell name, and...

*slams shut a door when a couple of bones stick out, all yelling things like "Faceache" and "Dragon Droppings"*

Dammit...how could I spell it RE-ELITA? Erm, could you call back? This could take a while...

*enters the room armed with a BAG spell and several rolls of duct tape...*

[GrimaldineGrimwold]

LOL. Must think of more Elita jokes. *thinking cap on*

[GrimaldineGrimwold]

I thought of branching out into more Sidriss jokes, but can't think of any. So if anyone can finish the line, "Sidriss is so stupid..." please fire away.