They would never say...

For all the comedians out there.
Fidjit
Fright Knight
Fright Knight
Posts: 1913
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2003 10:27 am
Location: Isle of Wight

Re: They would never say...

Post by Fidjit » Wed Aug 24, 2016 5:29 pm

Treguard: I wouldn't take that path team it's closed for resurfacing.

Treguard: This lady team is Mellisandre, the village mule, everyone has has a ride except the local jester.

Treguard: Are any of you three epileptic? Yes? Then I suggest you tell Julian to put the bottle down and just leave team.

Pickle: *Coming through the door holding a parcel* Your Amazon package has just arrived master.

Pickle: Wow! Either The Great Rift of Angar
has got longer and bigger... or Smirkenorff is having a bad diarrhoea day!

Pickle: *Looking up at Treguard, almost a whisper* Shall I fetch a can from the fridge master??

Pickle: *Team approach Doorkis* Well, I've already shown you what to do here team, I'm just popping off for a quick shower. I should be back before you finish, but if not, go through Dunkley Woods, watch out for Ariadne, and don't get killed. Won't be a tick...

Pickle: Christ, I feel a big dump coming on here!

Smirkenorff: Romanha, in the advertisement I specifically asked for a guardian, not a nanny!

Lissard: *To Lord Fear* No offence lordnesssssss, but if you're so clevernesssssss why don't you come up with a plan and do it yourself!

Lord Fear: The Sewers Of Goth! Miles upon miles of the filthiest stench and sewage. Impenetrable, except for a single rowing boat I conveniently left in the open!

Greystagg: *Over a sort of tannoy system* Good morning, this is a sister announcement, could whoever is leaving the front door open please shut it as dungeoneers, fruit sellers and double-glazing salesman keep getting in. Thank you.

Greystagg: Well WILL have revenge on you Fear! Witchaven, as you well know is all but destroyed...
Lord Fear: Oh it was me! Sorry I got so wasted last night I couldn't even remember if it was me or Raptor who defiled Heggartys' drawers. So glad I reminded him to bring a bag!
If the only way is onward how would you get home for tea?? :-/

Drassil
Senior Staff
Senior Staff
Posts: 2150
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2003 3:01 pm
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil » Wed Sep 12, 2018 8:02 pm

Drassil wrote:
Sun Aug 21, 2016 2:09 pm
Treguard: Play fair, or Fear play foul, all begins again at the allotted h- no, wait, that doesn't rhyme. Play fair, or Fear commit crime, all... no, that won't do. Erm... take care of yourselves. And each other.
Treguard: And Pickle... write me a version that scans and rhymes.

Pickle: At once, master.

[A few moments later, Pickle hands Treguard a new parchment to read from.]

Treguard: 'Play thee fair, or Fear play foul / Game on's at the allotted owl.' Allotted owl?! What manner of nonsense is this? "Ah, here's the designated nocturnal bird, good, we can resume play."

Pickle: Well, if Fear's playing fowl...

Treguard: Are you trying to make an oaf of me, elf? Explain yourself. What kind of twit would allot an owl? Who?

Pickle: Twit... who...

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