Clues from Your Table (parody of Crumbs from Your Table by U2)

[Canadanne]

A song about wall monsters, and a couple of Series 2 teams who failed to earn their useful hints. Again it's not great but the idea wouldn't leave me alone. Original song & lyrics here.
-----

Not the brightest spark
Just a hapless fool
There was so much on offer
Why did you offer the jewel?

It was there for the taking
What you needed to use
But you replied with rubbish
When he demanded the truth

Cool down monster, cool off
Cool down monster, cool off

You speak of times and legends
I need some direction
I would be leaving, if I was able
But I'm waiting on the clues from your table

You were pretty bad at riddles
It was one out of three
Then your fate was sealed by illiteracy

For a jar with no sweets
You gave as your toll
And you broke every bone
When you fell in that hole

You speak of times and legends
But I need some direction
I would be leaving, if I was able
But I'm waiting on the clues from your table

What you know should not decide
Whether you live or whether you die
Three truths you sought
One is all you got
Victory passes by

And you speak of times and legends
But I need some direction
I would be leaving, if I was able
I'm waiting on the clues from your table... hey!