You Can Call Me Gwen (parody of You Can Call Me Al)

[Canadanne]

A certain Series 7 quest, set to Paul Simon's 'You Can Call Me Al' (lyrics, audio). Some bits are better than others, but I think it's as good as I'm ever going to get it. Why do I keep picking the hard songs?!

A man walks down the path
He says, Why have I stopped in the tunnel now?
Who is this guy in the tunnel?
The rest of my team must think hard
I need a motto or aphorism
I wanna spy on a henchman
Don't wanna end up a failure
Only yards from Treguard

Phone digger, phone digger
Flaws come to light
Staff o' mage broken in four
Mr Rothberry, Rothberry
Gave this mace away to me, you know
I don't sell the stuff I'm using any more

If you beat the playing cards
I can be your long-lost friend
I can call you Barry
And Barry when you call me
You can call me Gwen

A man walks to a seat
He says, Why don't I talk to a dragon?
Got a short little chat with a dragon
And whoa, my quest is so long
Where am I, friends & family?
What if I die here?
Who'll be my spell teacher?
Now that my spell teacher is gone, gone
He ducked back down the tavern
For some hokey-pokey with a serving girl
All along, along, you were kissing an Atlantean
Those are nasty allegations...

If you beat the playing cards
I can be your long-lost friend
I can call you Barry
And Barry when you call me
You can call me Gwen
Call me Gwen...

A man zooms down the path
It's a path in a strange level
Maybe it's the third level
Maybe it's the wrong way around
Doesn't seek the grandeur
He chose the hammer, see
Here is an older man
He sees a troll come through the ground, the ground
Battle in the starting place
Panicking the awful genie
He knocks it down, and down
It goes plunging from the antechamber
Pinning down the enemy
Who says "Hey, men - help me you lot!"

If you beat the playing cards
I can be your long-lost friend
I can call you Barry
And Barry when you call me
You can call me Gwen
Call me

Na na na na, na na na na
Na na na na, na na na na-na na-na na
Na na na na, na-na na-na na na
Na na na na, na na na na-na na-na na

If you beat the playing cards...
I can call you Barry...
If you beat the playing cards...
I can call you Barry...