knightmare.com • Parody of Centerfold by The J. Geils Band
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Parody of Centerfold by The J. Geils Band

Posted: Sat Nov 28, 2015 1:25 am
by Canadanne
I always enjoy this song, and when I heard it on the radio the other day, inspiration weirdly struck. From Hordriss' POV, during Barry's quest. :P

(Original lyrics, audio)

***

How she walked, how she talked
When she'd come to greet
My winsome, buxom waitress
Always helped me to my seat

She was gorgeous, so I'd
Go in there every day
Besotted with her, my waitress
I'd never felt this way

Then some boy comes walkin' through our flirty tavern scene
And turns my buxom waitress to a shade of minty green

My blood runs cold
Calamity! I've just been told
My waitress is the seneschal
Waitress is the seneschal
My blood runs cold
My enemy's been much too bold
Waitress is the seneschal

Slipped her notes where I confessed
That I was thinkin' of her undressed
I won't lie, she turned me on
My daughter thought me ill

I was shakin' in my robes
Whenever she flashed those magic globes
Soon she had a hold on me
The waitress had some skill

Those hot and hungry pleasures, the magic of her touch
To see her with that scaly face is really just too much

My blood runs cold
Yea, calamity! I've just been told
My waitress is the seneschal
Waitress is the seneschal
My blood runs cold
My enemy's been much too bold
Waitress is the seneschal

(Na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta)
(Na na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta)
(Na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta)
(Na na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta)

It's okay, he understands
This kid won't spread it through the land
I hope that when this Lissard's gone
He'll soon forget just what went on

Take him far, yes I will
We'll sort this out discreetly
Take him out of Level Two
Or kill him off if need be

A part of me wants to be sick
Erase this from my mind, and quick
Oh no, I can't escape it
Oh yeah, at least we didn't tape it

My blood runs cold
Calamity! I've just been told
My waitress is the seneschal
Waitress is the seneschal
My blood runs cold
My enemy's been much too bold
My waitress is the seneschal!

(Na na, n-not Marta, n-na na na, n-n-not Marta)