Merlin means: "You've blown it. You're now in losing status. However it would look really bad if i personally terminated a dungeoneer, so i'm gonna lie to you and give you false hope. The goblins can finish you off in a few minutes time."

Treguard means: "...Or sometimes two."

"I only have the power to disperse one of the fields... Which shall it be??"

What she really means:

"Can you get a move on! I'm dying for a dump and I'm waiting for an Argos delivery... And it's due any minute!"

Treguard means: "Listen to the clue I'm about to give you, team."

Means: "Ok you stole the glory of being the only one to defeat the dungeon. Now get outta here!"

'Hordriss the Confuser'.

It means: 'Hordriss the Weirdo'.

[quote][/quote]

What's those red and white strawberry-flavoured sweets with the Italian name?

Hordriss appears to be modelled on one of those. Especially the stripy eyebrows.

Trguard: Danger Team, Dont linger Here 'Cause Nothing Is Quite As Stable As It Seems....

Means: Mwhahaha. You Failed To Answer The Riddle Given To YOu By The Not-So-Funny Weaping Door, And So You Will Perish Here For Being So Stupid Not To Know Who Created Underwear

Smirkenoff says: 'I don't suppose you have any...dragon mints?'

Smirkenoff means: 'I don't suppose you have any...Wriggley's Mint Chewing Gum?'

Treguard says: 'Enter, strangers!'

Treguard means: 'Hurry up and come in you stupid fools!'

'Hordriss the Confuser'.

It means: 'Hordriss the Weirdo'.

I'll edit a few more in this post in a sec, just have to think of some more!

She means: "For all you can see under that helmet I could be so incredibly hideous I'd lose a beauty contest to Mildread and Mrs. Grimwold... and probably Fatilla as well, but you'd damn well better agree with me or you'll be wiped out in a maximum of two rooms from now..."

Gretel also says: "Wheeeeeeee!" (accompanied by various girly squeaks)

She means: "What the hell am I doing? I must be getting on for 30 and I'm pretending to be less mature than the youngest of all these kids..."

Granitas says: "Olgarth is unfit for guard duty!"

He means: "For all you know I am Olgarth, Granitas doesn't exist and I'm playing a bizarre trick on you. You know, like when there was those two twin girls who both had boyfriends and decided to swap them for a week..."

Igneous says: "I am Igneous of legend. Thrrrrrrrrree rrrrrrrrrriddles have I, and trrrrrrrrruth I seek!"

He means: "My gimpy voice is really getting on your tits, isn't it?"

Cedric says: "Halt there, dogsbottom!"

He means: Pretty much the same as what Elita meant above.

Pickle says: "Oh no, master, it's Elita! She gives all elves a bad name!"

He means: "She dumped me last week and I'm still in a strop."

Brother Strange says: "I am a proverbial monk. I copllect proverbs."

He means: "On a basic monastery wage, i.e. nothing, I can't afford Pokemon cards."

Lord Fear says: "16 Million Colours, Stereo Sound, Auto Scan and remote surf across levels 1, 2 and 3."

He means: "Impressive, isn't it? Got it in Rumbelows' closing down sale, and it still cost me five grand. Put your slimy mitts on it, Lissard, and I'll turn you into fisherman's pie!"

(NOTE to historians: I have looked up the date that Rumbelows shut down, and it was 1995. But the joke was too good to waste.)

What Mogdred says: Play awhile...Play forever!

What Mogdred means: Just as soon as I get this games cupboard open, we'll play Ludo.

I had an idea for play awhile play for ever (Means: Wait untill I find that Knightmare Chess board... you want the white or the black ones?)

but it's not too good

What he meant: "Only two appearances in the whole series? Mutter... right... let's make the most of this... spellcasting, H-A-M-I-T-U-P!"

Yes, it's bad. But it's the best I can come up with for now. Looks like Drassil took all the best ones...

Series 4, Team 4 advisor whos name I can't remember now: "Simon, sidestep to your left"

What he meant: "Simon, sidestep to your right" (obvious one, really :p)

Majida: "Eeet's too deefeecult, ee can't even see what hee/shee's doeeng!"

What she meant: "It's too easy! Let's make it EVEN EASIER!"

CITV woman after the last episode: "If you'd like to take part in a future edition of Knightmare, please send an stamped address envelope to..."

What she meant: "Hahahahaha! Suckers!"

Mogdred says: "Play a while, play forever!"

Mogdred means: "You'll be dead in seconds. But I've every right to taunt you until then!"

Motley says: "This is Level One, and the fun has just begun!"

Motley means: "It's piss-easy this early on, so enjoy it while it lasts!"

Elita says: faceache

Elita means: [CENSORED]

Treguard says: "D.I.S...M..I..S..S.."

Treguard means: "P.I.S...S..O..F..F.."

Merlin says: "You do want to be home for Christmas, don't you, boys?"

Merlin means: "We know you must be peeved and gutted at the outrageously and inexplicably poor decision to cut short your quest at the brink of completion, but there's sod-all you can do about it, and just to rub it in, we're falling into line with generations of crass seasonal commercialisation and using Christmas as an excuse for our actions, boys."

Treguard says: armchair adventurers

Treguard means: lethargic sedentary free-loaders

Fatilla says: "I will blip you, and I will blop you..."

Fatilla means: "Slack law enforcement within the Dungeon makes it unlikely that I'd be charged with GBH, giving me the confidence to hide my insecurities by threatening a child with physical harm."

Lissard says: Lordnesssss

Lissard means: I'm using the hackneyed comic device of excessive sibilance in a vain attempt to cover how lacklustre my character is, Lord Fear.

Brother Mace says: "Sacra templa, poeta taberna quaerabat! Hahahaha!"

Brother Mace means: "I should be with the RSC. But here I am, doing children's television in order to make ends meet."

Mrs. Grimwold says: "Shuddup, Festus!"

Mrs. Grimwold means: "If you don't stop distracting me with that electronic barking, they'll rumble that I'm a bloke!"

He meens

"Good for me Bad for You."

What Treguard says: Ooh, nasty

What Treguard means: I thoroughly enjoyed that. Next victim!