The first is Based upon 'Sometimes' by Erasure. Official audio

It's not the way you send them with the Helm into the Dungeon

It's not the way you don't wear silly hats like Nemanor

Been thinking about you, I just couldn't wait to see

Watching you on Knightmare as you bring those words to me

Ooh nasty

A death is turned into a source of glee, yeah

Ooh nasty

You're the best DM on TV

It's not the way that you impress me, brighten up my Fridays

It's not my sense of emptiness you fill with your log fire

Stand by the advisors, and forget about Tim Child

Taunt them, you will haunt them with the words that drive us wild:

Ooh nasty

A death is turned into a source of glee, yeah

Ooh nasty

You're the best DM on TV...

The second is based on a well known anti-Vietnam War song with artificial stuttering, i.e. Nineteen by Paul Hardcastle. Official audio

"In 1987, Knightmare seemed like just another TV show.

But it wasn't.

It was different in many ways, and so were those that did the questing.

In World War II the average death of the combat soldier was tragic.

In Knightmare it was nasty.

In-in-in-in-in-in-in Knightmare it was nasty..."

N-n-n-n-nasty

"The walking and sidestepping of the past five years continued today

25 miles south west of Dunshelm"

"I wasn't really sure where I was"

N-n-n-n-nasty, nasty, n-nasty, nasty

Nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty

"In Knightmare the dungeoneer typically served a thirty minute tour of duty

But was exposed to hostile danger in almost every room..."

N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nasty n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nasty

N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-Knightmare n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-Knightmare

"In Dunshelm a Saxon Powers That Be spokesman said today more than 4 adventurers

Were killed last year in that sensitive border area.

Throughout all of the Dungeon the PTB lost a total of 160 soldiers..."

All those who remember Knightmare

They don't forget what they see

Dismissal of kids in their prime

Whose average death was nasty

Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-dismissal

D-d-d-d-d-d-d-Dunswater

"According to a Veterans Administration study,

Half of the Knightmare TV veterans suffer from what psychiatrists call

Post Traumatic Quest Disorder.

Many vets complain of alienation, rage or guilt.

Some succumb to Yuletide thoughts.

Eighteen to eleven years after coming home, almost two hundred people

Are still playing the Knightmare game..."

"Few of them received a hero's welcome..."