1)chris eubank, his lisp would get me all confused(lol)

2)Chantelle from big brother, to see if she does have ONE brain cell)

3)the guy from series 4 welsh team who says......."side step to the left"

purely for comedy value i hasten to add!

When you do go to Tuska mail me, you'll get a good friend to enjoy the festival with

Talking of which, hope you got my last four emails. Check your spam folder if you didn't.

Dispel... H-O-T-M-A-I-L!

jangly dispel noise

Snowwiewolf gets a better email account

When you do go to Tuska mail me, you'll get a good friend to enjoy the festival with

links not working...

http://www.last.fm/user/nimbostratus was what I meant to put. The overall Finnishness has just been reduced with the massive amount of Forefather I've been playing, though.

Currently enjoying Sonata Arctica howl their way through Die With Your Boots On. I really should dig out more of the old Maiden classics.

Full moon dance?!

Check your email - soon. It needs a good deal of explanation...

If you ever get the chance to come to Finland go to either Duck Rock, Tuska or F.M.E great bands, grat food (at duck rock), Heavy Karaoke!

I've considered Tuska, but that'll have to wait until next year. In terms of great Finnish food, I've got some kylmäsavuporonpaisti in the fridge...

Full moon dance?!

If you ever get the chance to come to Finland go to either Duck Rock, Tuska or F.M.E great bands, grat food (at duck rock), Heavy Karaoke!

Actually If you ever do come to Finland send meh an e-mail

I just watched Die Hard

Karl (long blonde hair, baddie) he'd propably avenge meh if I lost.

Mrs. Mclane: She's just as aggressive as me when needed. Proapbly a good spell caster.

John Mclane: He can keep his mind clear in extreme situations. Only problem is he and Karl would try and kill each other....

@Ironlord:

I scared my mum by laughing too loudly

One thing my mom wants to know: How do you know so much about finnish heavy?

http://www.last.fm/users/nimbostratus

And that's just in the last month. I have more Finnish metal than is healthy and it's been on my playlist for the last year and a half to the near-exclusion of just about anything else.

Blame the people who introduced me to Ensiferum. Also blame the people in and around Nottingham who invented the "Full Moon Dance" that has already been exported to a few other rock clubs round the country...

I'll send you a link at some stage.

I scared my mum by laughing too loudly

One thing my mom wants to know: How do you know so much about finnish heavy?

I'd like to have my old french teacher as the dungeneer. Say hello to the goblins Tarja, ask them if they'd like to learn frech recipies! Mwah ha haa!

And I'd like ? ? to be one of the advisors (so I could steal a kiss from him while everyone is watching my french teacher get eaten)

"You're in a room with..."

"A room?!? A room?!? I'm not in an oilfield?"

"Er, no. Ahead of you there's..."

"There any folks in here?"

"Yeah, there's..."

"Well let's not dance round the ol' bush - an' ah don't just mean muh daddy when ah say that - let's talk to 'em. Hey you thar! Ah'm on the quest for an awful lot o' oil and any Eye-Shields of Mass Destruction. You got any?"

"GRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!"

"As I was saying, George, there's a huge monster with yellow skin, pointy teeth and a single gleaming eye, and it's drooling hungrily."

"Ah, Dick Cheney! Who'd a thunk ah'd run into you down here..."

And so on.

Dungeoneer to guide into peril/certain death? Easy.

Ed. Tudor. Pole.

evil cackle.

Tony Kakko, just as an exuse to meet me idol plus he's funny and would calm me down when I panic.

Are you sure?

(heavy Finnish accent)

"OK, Snowwiewolf, you're outside in the forest, with a very hairy man in front of you. (Say it's Olaf, who's managed to escape from series 2). Full moon is on the sky and... he's not a man anymore! Run away, run away, run away!"

(Anyone who doesn't get this - i.e. everyone else - might want to look at: http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/sonataarctica/ecliptica.html#6)

Janne Ahola (singer of Teräsbetoni) to be the spellcaster. Him spellcasting with that high pitched voice of his would make the enemies die of laughter.

Yes, I can see that one as well... Snowwiewolf is threatened by Ariadne, and is facing certain death until Janne sends his heroes in to intervene.

Spellcasting! M-A-N-O-W-A-R!

jangly spell noise

Four almost-naked men appear, wearing only loincloths and with their entire bodies covered in baby oil. One has a permanent scowl on his face. They pick up their swords, and attempt to slay the imminent danger. The scowling one howls "We will never lay down our arms until the enemies of metal are defeated!" while Ariadne crawls up behind him and eats him whole. He dies, heroically, in battle, along with the three others, when it would have been a far better idea to actually win the battle.

At this point, Pickle intervenes, and sends in Thyrfing to get the job done properly.

Alexi "Wildchild" Laiho to be the guide. He'd propably scare even Lord Fear with his abuse of words and his "horrific" voice.

Snowwiewolf: "Where am I?"

Alexi: "YOW! You're in Lake Bodom! YOW!"

Snowwiewolf: "Alexi, could you stop screaming in my ear?"

Alexi: "YOW!"

The bad thing is:

Tony would propaly guide me in to a pit for the fun of it

I'd be deaf after hearing Alexi and Janne yell orders and spells...

Alternatively: Tony's voice fails to reach you through the helmet (probably due to messrs. Ahola and Laiho) and would throw a massive strop about the poor sound quality...

Nah, I'd propably ask someone from here

Tony Kakko, just as an exuse to meet me idol plus he's funny and would calm me down when I panic.

Janne Ahola (singer of Teräsbetoni) to be the spellcaster. Him spellcasting with that high pitched voice of his would make the enemies die of laughter.

Alexi "Wildchild" Laiho to be the guide. He'd propably scare even Lord Fear with his abuse of words and his "horrific" voice.

The bad thing is:

Tony would propaly guide me in to a pit for the fun of it

I'd be deaf after hearing Alexi and Janne yell orders and spells...

I'd choose MC Hammer to be the spellcaster, as being a rapper, he'll easily spellcast quick enough to get me out of a tight situation, even if the spell's FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION.

You watched Catchword when it was on, didn't you? Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, that was their other favourite word.

Paul Coia for the next host of Countdown! Hang on - Des got the gig. Arse.

Another interesting point: here's a revised plot from series 3. (NOTE: I only ever saw bits and pieces of this series, as you all know by now, and that was back in 1989. If this scene is not accurate... I can't help it!)

McGrew: "Och! I'll chop ye're heed off!"

Dungeoneer: shits pants "Aargh! What am I going to do?"

Advisor 1: "Use the spell!"

Advisor 2: "Spellcasting! H-A-M-M-E-R-T-I-M-E!"

jangly spellcasting noise

inoffensive rap music starts playing

McGrew Dances

McGrew: "Och! Och! Make it stop! I'll do anything!"

Team: nothing

Dungeoneer: walks off into next room

whap (standard moving-through-rooms noise)

Sword: jangly sword noise jangly sword noise jangly sword noise (etc)

Lifeforce: descending

Lifeforce: turns into a huge skull that fills the screen

Bells: BONG! BONG!

You know what's coming next...

Treguard: Ooooh... nasty!

Someone HAS to make this reality. Flash, video editing... something!

I'd be safe in their hands (so to speak). Heh heh..

I think we all know what you're saying...

I'd probably take my brother, who's a master tactician, anyone with a really relaxing voice, and a genuine Doctor Who, cos he could solve any puzzle I get stuck in straight away.

The second advisor would be Detective Frank Drebin from 'Police Squad!'. I've put him in the middle as he can use his (literal) long arms of the law to break up arguments from the other advisors. Plus, I'd like to see how he handles temporal disruption, judging by the freeze frames at the end of Police Squad episodes.

And the third would be Tim Child, as, having wrote the script, he'd know exactly what's going to happen in each room. Heck, with him as an advisor, I don't need the other two!