I first met up with Lissard before Series Seven

Even then the goblin gangs said with prejudiced tuts

"You'll hate his guts"

Over the years as I got to know Lissard

Made sure I took a look beyond the rumours and the breath

But still I wished him death

We used to walk along the sewers

He loved to eat the cleaner fish

We used to walk along the sewers

I'd wish him gone, oh, how I'd wish

No one understood how I hated Lissard

No one cared despite the night we went out walking alone

And he never came home

No men with wands came knocking next morning

No one cared enough to be pointing fingers right at me

Why could they not see?

I swear I pushed him in the sewers

I swear he isn't safe and sound

He won't have swum back to Atlantis

Because his hands and feet were bound

I think about my life gone by

And how it's done me wrong

But there's relief for me this time

Now that that tuna breath's gone, long gone

I swear I pushed him in the sewers

I swear he isn't safe and sound

He won't have swum back to Atlantis

Because his hands and feet were bound

[The following is amalgamated from a post made on Sunday 24 September 2006, 16:40, to negate the double posting.]

This parody is about Martin's team from Series 3, who quested for the Cup and were stopped by Morghanna in Level 3. Based on Who Are You? by The Who (a.k.a. the CSI theme song). Official video

Ooh nasty

Ooh ooh, ooh ooh

Ooh nasty

Ooh ooh, ooh ooh

Ooh nasty

Ooh ooh, ooh ooh

Ooh nasty

Ooh ooh, ooh ooh

I walked in through a Dungeon doorway

A wizard knew my name

He said, "You can go sleep at home tonight

If the quest object you can reclaim"

I staggered on through the underground

And the helmet sat on my head

I remember takin' sidesteps around

And keepin' Life Force fed

Ooh nasty

Ooh ooh, ooh ooh

(What a pity, never mind)

Ooh nasty

Ooh ooh, ooh ooh

[Repeated several times]

I took a mine cart down the track

Right down to Level Three

I stood and listened to the guiding words

Of Darren, Jamie, Lee

I stepped forth and I sidestepped

And looked back on my busy day

So many hours on the blue screen

How I hope that we can win our way

Ooh nasty

Ooh ooh, ooh ooh

(What a pity, never mind)

Ooh nasty

Ooh ooh, ooh ooh

[Repeated several times]

[Repeated several more times]

I know there's a place I walked

Where Owen gave no spell

I'd collected up the broken Cup

But then Morghanna gave me hell

My head burned like a fireplace

The end was within reach

But I no longer am a dungeoneer now

As old Treguard makes his speech

Ooh nasty

Ooh ooh, ooh ooh

(What a pity, never mind)

Ooh nasty

Ooh ooh, ooh ooh

[Repeated several times]