Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpu8RlxI_2w or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H87yGvoCNHU

Knightmare Series Eight

Might leave you quite impressed

The CGI's great

And it's in every quest

But watching the show can become a bad dream

Whenever Bartram encounters a team

If Scaramonger and Ah Wok come back

Hope they'll see Bartram, take clubs and attack

Honesty Bartram's grating

Talking to Daniel

Honesty Bartram's grating

Talking to Daniel

Honesty Bartram's grating

Talking to Nathan

(Talking to Nathan)

Honesty Bartram's grating

I don't like your beard

Nor do I like your hat

And your name suggests

To me that you're a prat

Your gestures, your patter, they irritate me

Watching you is, like your potion, risky

Don't try to charm me, you're wasting your time

I'd tell me dad that your acting's a crime

Honesty Bartram's grating

Talking to Daniel

Honesty Bartram's grating

Talking to Daniel

Honesty Bartram's grating

Talking to Nathan

(Talking to Nathan)

Honesty Bartram's grating...

Based on Pinball Wizard by The Who

Official audio: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xZzGtDW2p4

About this incident.

Back when I was a young boy

I heeded Tommy Boyd

I drew living room curtains

And Knightmare I enjoyed

But a certain technomancer

He got me quite annoyed

That dastardly Lord Fear

Sure makes a mean Bimboid!

It stands like a statue

It's a skeletal machine

Showing its obedience

In a spyglass scene

Ordered to kill Hordriss

Oh no, he'll be destroyed

Won't somebody warn him

Here comes a mean Bimboid!

It's a Bimboid, wizard

It's gonna kill you

A Bimboid, wizard

Unless you see it true

Who do you think will warn him?

(I don't know!)

Nathan it should be

Ain't got no distractions

Has magic energy

It looks a lot like Sidriss:

Iona Kennedy

Lord Fear's made it evil

With its mind he's toyed

A dead, dumb assassin's

Also a mean Bimboid

I thought I saw

A black gigantic cat

But it's just Hordriss

The Bimboid's not here yet

Then they find it at the trapdoor

Waiting with a knife

Nathan's teammates tip him off

And he saves Hordriss' life

He reveals it and destroys it

I was overjoyed

That pompous old wizard

Sure saw off that Bimboid!

Based on Country House by Blur

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpuh1WE-RVw

About Leo's quest in Series 3.

(So the story begins)

Bromley dweller

Successful fella

Said to his friends

"Hey, Matthew and James and Simon,

Let's go on Knightmare

In Series Three."

And he meets Melly and Merlin

While the quest's unfurling

Tells Motley a joke and it's an oyster, no pearl in

Fluffed it in the level's anxiety

Yes, it's Level Two

And Leo's through (so simple)

He went on a quest

A very big quest

In the Dungeon

Watching Challenge for repeats

Hordriss he defeats

In the Dungeon

He has all manner of spells

And climbs in one or two wells

In the Dungeon

You're not supposed to take arms

Even if you've qualms

In the Dungeon

He's got Mogdred's GLORY and life's a different story

Listening to Treguard's oratory

Dispelled a SWORD then ENERGY

He's shaking Stardust, trying his hardest

Needs a helping hand, that window's not at all bland

Oh, if he'd just said, "Avebury"

Wasn't faint at heart

Rode that cart (down the mine tracks)

He went on a quest

A very big quest

In the Dungeon

It was in search of the Cup

He did well then messed it up

In the Dungeon

He doesn't drink, smoke, laugh

Takes the wrong path

In the Dungeon

You should come to no harm

With good knowledge and charm

In the Dungeon

In the Dungeon

In the Dungeon

In the Dun-ge-o-on

The largest ring on English ground? I don't know where

The largest ring on English ground? I don't know where

Based on You're the Voice by John Farnham

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbkOZTSvrHs

About a Series 6 room.

Each Se-ries Six team starts with a decision

They can seek what they want to seek

They gotta make their choice, out of a whole four missions

They can choose the Sword or

The Cup, Shield or Crown

But hooow can Sophia's team choose it

When it's only just been found?

Hall of Choice, not for hun or bandit

It is for the dungeoneer

Oh-o-o-o, whoa-o-o-o

If they get a hand from Hordriss

Then they're gonna beat Lord Fear

Oh-wo-wo-wo, whoa-o-o-o

This time, we know they're free to stand where they may

With four symbols it's all up to them

And each one means a different doorway

They can choose the Sword or

The Cup, Shield or Crown

But hooow can Sophia's team choose it

When it's only just been found?

Hall of Choice, not for hun or bandit

It is for the dungeoneer

Oh-o-o-o, whoa-o-o-o

If they get a hand from Hordriss

Then they're gonna beat Lord Fear

Oh-wo-wo-wo, whoa-o-o-o...