Got an eyeshield, helmet and greedy knapsack,

Treguard told me I couldn't turn back

As a goblin group just kept on gaining,

the panic I felt kept my trousers a staining.

Every dungeoneer can fall apart

Every dungeoneer can fall apart

Choose the wrong item and it's a bad start

Every dungeoneer can fall apart

I met her in the Crazed Heifer

What I saw made me like the look of her

She looked at me and asked me some things

Falsehoods meant I'm stuck with this item that stinks.

Every dungeoneer can fall apart

Every dungeoneer wants a chamber to rest

Every dungeoneer wants to eventually get home

Dont make no difference what nobody says

Aint nobody like to be Festus' bone

Every dungeoneer can fall apart...