Through Level One he'd creep

With schemes for quests and teams that lay ahead

His mind would roll and leap

His IQ lower than a loaf of bread

Where did he get those ugly rags?

And does he get rope burn?

Although his warts were charmed by hags

His grime is wide-ranging

Show me some grub for knapsack of leather

Help me find a password to clear the way

Come to me, foe who thinks he's clever

Yes there he stands:

I see a bloke called Hands

This guy was born to fail

That's why Romanha trapped seems so absurd

His mishaps make fine tales

About Barry, Matt and others you have heard

These are the games we watched at school

Us fans raised on Knightmare

And though Sylvester was a fool

His crimes were amazing...