Don't you spurn a

David Learner

He's doing improv

Though he calls it "elfprov"

And don't you show

That you do know

That I'm a bloke

Whose name is really Hugo

It's acting

It's acting

Michael Cule is nothing to be scared of

Don't you ever

Don't you ever

Quake at our great Shakespearean endeavour

Steph'nie Hesp, right

Is a thesp, quite

Though she is rude

The green room gives you respite

Clifford Norgate's

Even more great

Miss him perform

And you've suffered a poor fate

It's acting

It's acting

Michael Cule is nothing to be scared of

Don't you ever

Don't you ever

Quake at our great Shakespearean endeavour

From his jester

To Sylvester

Paul Valentine

Brings fun to every quester

Though a sassy

Winter lassie

Aesandre's really

Miss J. Henry-Massy

Gwendoline

Gwendoline

She and Motley

Never did get paired off

Don't you ever

Don't you ever

Quake at our great Shakespearean endeavour

If you've caught on

As I've taught on

Stay in control

When you meet Rayner Bourton

Hugh de Wittless

Rides with fitness

Though to be fair

Lord Fear might scare you sh...irtless

[Chorus repeats]