The dungeonaut Freddy enters a room with six doors - two on each of the visible walls. However, the projected image is not the final illustration but rather a black and white preliminary sketch. Someone's handwriting labels each door with the next room: acid pit, instant death, evil wizard, short cut, impossible causeway, fiery hell.

In addition to these notes someone has doodled on the drawing as follows:

Between the two doors on the left wall is a classic graffiti cock and balls (it is just a bit smaller than the doors) - though this one has been given a face and arms. Droplets have been drawn coming from its head.

In between the doors on the rear wall is a primitive doodle of a topless woman (a stick figure but with long hair, very large boobs and a skirt).

In between the doors on the right wall is a mobile number alongside the name ‘Stallion Stanley’.

In the middle of the room is a table, on it there is a scroll and three chained up boxes.

DUNGEONAUT

Where is this?

ADVISOR 1

(Voiceover:)

You're in a room with six doors. On the left wall is a tall, thin man; I think he’s kneeling down. On the back wall is a barbarian carrying two big shields. There’s also some graffiti on the walls. In the middle of the room is a table; it looks like there’re some boxes on it.

Scene 2 Shot 1: Wide shot of antechamber

Scene 2 Shot 2: Closeup of Trebake

TREBAKE

Well now, this is most unusual. Never before have I seen such strange wall markings in the dungeon. One wonders how they got there.

(Looking accusingly at Gerkin:)

Any ideas Gerkin?

Scene 3 Shot 1: Closeup of Gerkin

Scene 3 Shot 2: Midshot of Gerkin with Advisors watching

GERKIN

'Tis a mystery both profound and perplexing master. It's worth investigating them team - perhaps they contain useful information.

Scene 4 Shot 1: Midshot of Gerkin and Trebake

TREBAKE

Oh, I doubt it - they look like the scribblings of a more… primitive intelligence.

Gerkin glares at Trebake.

Scene 5 Shot 1: Wide shot of dungeon

ADVISOR 1

Freddy, can you walk forward to the table?

INT. SIX DOOR ROOM - DAY

The dungeonaut does as directed.

DUNGEONAUT

Ok, there's a scroll and three boxes. Each box is chained up and there are a number of different combination locks.

Scene 6 Shot 1: Closeup of advisor 2

ADVISOR 2

Can you read the scroll please Freddy?

Scene 7 Shot 1: Wide shot of dungeon

The dungeonaut has the scroll unfurled.

DUNGEONAUT

(Reading:)

There is only one safe path from this chamber. To find it you must solve a series of clues, each more fiendish than the last. Clue number one: The Battle of Agincourt.

Scene 8 Shot 1: Midshot of Trebake and advisors

TREBAKE

(Rubbing his hands together:)

Well, this sounds like an intricate and exceptionally well designed puzzle. Er, by which I mean to say devious in the extreme. How's your history team? Later clues will touch on other subjects. Er, I imagine.

ADVISOR 1

So we probably need the date of that battle to open the first lock. Do you know?

The other advisors shake their heads.

Scene 9 Shot 1: Midshot of Gerkin and Trebake

GERKIN

Perhaps the wall markings could be of some assistance team.

TREBAKE

Oh, I really don't think…

GERKIN

Maybe that ‘thin man’ knows the answer?

Trebake glares at Gerkin.

Scene 10 Shot 1: Closeup of advisor 1

Scene 10 Shot 2: Wide shot of dungeon

ADVISOR 1

Ok Freddy, turn left. And walk forward. Stop.

Scene 11 Shot 1: Wide shot of dungeon

The dungeonaut is now standing in front of the cock and balls.

ADVISOR 1

(Voiceover:)

Freddy, try talking to the man.

DUNGEONAUT

Hello. Do you know the date of the battle of Agincourt?

Linger for a moment on shot of dungeonaut standing in front of the cock. There is obviously no response.

Scene 12 Shot 1: Wide shot of antechamber

TREBAKE

I really don't think you should waste any more time…

GERKIN

The man seems to be crying master - look how the salty tears flood from his face. If you cheer him up team, perhaps he will give you the answer…

Scene 13 Shot 1: Mid shot of Trebake and advisors

TREBAKE

(Angry:)

Enough!

The team turn to Trebake, taken aback.

TREBAKE

(Recovering:)

I mean, er, life force fading team.

(Pleading/whining:)

Can you really not remember when the battle of Agincourt took place?

Scene 14 Shot 1: Wide shot of antechamber

GERKIN

Ooh, is that a number on the right hand wall team?

TREBAKE

Gerkin!

ADVISOR 3

Oh yeah - there is a number. It looks quite long though…

ADVISOR 1

Freddy can you turn around and walk back to the table please.

Scene 15 Shot 1: Wide shot of dungeon

The dungeonaut returns to the table.

ADVISOR 1

(Voiceover:)

How many numbers do we need to open the first lock?

DUNGEONAUT

Three.

Scene 16 Shot 1: Mid shot of advisors

ADVISOR 1

Hmm, that number’s too long.

ADVISOR 2

Let's make a note of it though - it might come in handy later.

ADVISOR 3

Yeah and that name ‘Stallion Stanley’ - that could be a password or something.

Scene 17 Shot 1: Mid shot of Gerkin and Trebake

GERKIN

Do you know who Stallion Stanley is master?

TREBAKE

No, and I don't want to.

GERKIN

(Sotto voce:)

You don't know what you're missing.

Scene 18 Shot 1: Mid shot of advisors

ADVISOR 1

Ok, I think we’re just going to have to pick a door.

Scene 19 Shot 1: Closeup of Trebake

TREBAKE

(Frustrated:)

Good heavens team, the battle of Agincourt took place on the 25th October 1415!

Scene 20 Shot 1: Closeup of Gerkin over Trebake's shoulder

GERKIN

That was…unusually helpful of you master.

Scene 21 Shot 1: Closeup of Trebake over Gerkin's shoulder

TREBAKE

(Slightly embarrassed:)

Yes, well, given that there are a whole series of these fiendish clues a little help on the first one is only fair. Ahem. After all, we want young Freddy to take the correct door don't we?

Scene 22 Shot 1: Gerkin over Trebake's shoulder

GERKIN

Oh we certainly do master. And actually, it looks like each door is labelled - that's not just graffiti team.

Scene 23 Shot 1: Midshot of Trebake and Gerkin

TREBAKE

Oh we can't trust…

GERKIN

In fact I think they're all very, very clearly labelled with the room they lead to.

TREBAKE

Oh are they now?

GERKIN

Yes - I don't think the team will have to bother with the boxes at all!

TREBAKE

(Sarcastically:)

Oh good.

Scene 24 Shot 1: Mid shot of advisors

ADVISOR 1

Oh yeah, that door says ‘acid pit’.

Scene 25 Shot 1: Mid shot of Gerkin over heads of advisors

GERKIN

Well that sounds incredibly dangerous. And ‘instant death’ sounds like one to be avoided too.

Scene 26 Shot 1: Mid shot of Advisors

ADVISOR 2

(Pointing at screen:)

Yeah ok…so not ‘evil wizard’, not ‘impossible causeway’…

ADVISOR 1

Which leaves us with a choice between ‘short cut’ and ‘fiery hell’… Ok Freddy, we think we know which door to take. We’re going to guide you to one marked ‘short cut’.

Scene 27 Shot 1: Closeup of Gerkin

GERKIN

An excellent choice team! The dungeon has a number of secret short cuts - if you're lucky perhaps Stallion Stanley will take you up the back passage.

Trebake clips Gerkin around the ear.

Scene 28 Shot 1: Wide shot of dungeon

ADVISOR 1

(Voiceover:)

Ok, turn left Freddy. Walk forward.

The dungeonaut moves as directed.

INT. TREBAKE’S ANTECHAMBER - DAY

The advisors continue to guide the dungeonaut in the background.

Scene 29 Shot 1: Mid shot of Gerkin and Trebake

GERKIN

It's sort of a shame isn't master? Someone probably spent a lot of time putting that puzzle together - all those boxes and clues and codes…

TREBAKE

(Jaw clenched:)

Yes, well…

GERKIN

For all we know they could have spent most of their weekend on it. And as it turns out, it was all a complete and utter waste of time!

TREBAKE

(Staring straight ahead, barely audible:)

Uh-huh.

Gerkin gives a hideous smirk.

Scene 30 Shot 1: Wide shot of dungeon

ADVISOR 1

(Voiceover:)

…and walk forward.

The dungeonaut walks to the short cut door and disappears.

Portal whoosh.

FADE TO BLACK.

END.