Helm on your head, dungeoneer

Where do you bring your team?

To a place we all know

The Dungeon of Deceit

Mogdred looming in the corner

Ghostly face insisting, "Will you come and pledge?"

Not for all of Treguard's beard hair

All the bars of gold in Knightmare

Never, never ever

There's something after you, quick

Quest like the best

Don't get stressed

To the right door once again

Being chased, Vale of Ban-

-burn, there's goblins and quicksand

In the Dungeon of Deceit

Some walls have a clue room guardian

Waiting patiently 'til you have had the food

Score is low: will reprimand you

Score is high: say "I command you"

Wellway, find the wellway

To get into Level 2, now

Quest like the best

Don't get stressed

To the right door once again

Being chased, Vale of Ban-

-burn, behemoth and quicksand

In the Dungeon of Deceit

And time is turning, no knight today

The fire's burning, for Friday

Into the blue, you can fly

On a Smirky in the sky

Dodging blades either side

Or perhaps a minecart ride

In the Dungeon of Deceit

Quest like the best

Don't get stressed

To the right door once again

Being chased, Vale of Ban-

-burn, an ogre and quicksand

In the Dungeon of Deceit

I've got a show I watch with tea

It's Knightmare on CITV

In '94, it had to go

Will it return? You never know