Several spyglass scenes are preceded by Hordiss trying to sell dungeoneers life force insurance. He invites them to summon him and promises them a free quill just for inquiring.

Later, Hordriss insults Snapper-Jack and is attacked by his puppet snapdragon arm. Hordriss remains bitter about this until further notice.

Hordriss remains bitter but uses the incident in blatant self promotion thereafter.

Later, Hordriss insults Snapper-Jack and is attacked by his puppet snapdragon arm. Hordriss remains bitter about this until further notice.

Lissard's in it but I don't know what he would call himself.

Mellisandre creates realm peace by giving Fatilla a Pepsi.

So there stands Corbiss the Bemuser. Wary of the Angelic Eagle, "inundated with questions, questions, questions", hoping somehow to keep his allotment without losing the plot.

After evading a flying piece of Igneous, the Angelic Eagle has fled, leaving only a feather behind. (Some say the eagle sought refuge with another wall monster, Granitas, who has returned to the dungeons after running an anti-Corbiss restaurant in Islington.) Corbiss the Bemuser turns the feather into a quill by using it to write a parchment to the new T. Bag (an empowered sister to Tallulah and Tabatha, thought to be named Theresa), urging her to consider the plight of the leopard when choosing her footwear. But after spilling ink over the parchment and finding his blotting paper inadequate, Corbiss abandons it and leaves for an engagement. Later, one of his ogres arrives and condemns the "****ing useless blotters" as he deals with the spillage. Whether he is happy to clean up Corbiss' mess, or doesn't even realise he's doing it, is unclear.

Where did Corbiss go? Concerned for the structural integrity of the dungeon chambers, he attends a cube solidarity rally. He is later questioned about it by an elf of Elvandis (referred to by the tongue-tied as "Elvan-Davis") who brings news to knights. During this interview, Corbiss insists, "I don't do malice." A sorceress from Knightmare Series 4 would later remark, "I'd like to see him try!"

As the interview concludes, the ogre arrives with a slice of Series 8 Life Force Pie (Corbiss felt sorry for it) and a cup of stinkwort tea. But he trips on another stray piece of Igneous and the contents of the tray go all over Corbiss. Blaming the equipment, the ogre rages about "****ing useless platters".

"You could have done with protection against the platter," the cheeky elf says to Corbiss. "Where's a tray guard when you need it?"

Pickle and Majida use the different helmets of justice and remake Robot Wars by building their own robots using said helmets and fighting each other. Skarkill gets invited to Lord Fear's castle for tea and finds out about Pickle and Majida remaking Robot Wars. Lord Fear decides to build a robot too as does Skarkill. Treguard decides to act as referee.

After Pickle beats everyone else in the fight by running around and knocking all other fighters into the pit. The gang sit together and watch Robot Wars the new series on bbc 2.

After the show ends Pickle asks Treguard and Lord Fear. "When is Knightmare coming back on?" They both reply. "I don't know. Still waiting on the phone call from Tim."

While Lord Fear is at Treguard's castle Lissard has a little song and dance wearing a overly long robe of Lord Fear's. He has found a long blond wig and has decided to wear it with the robe. Corbiss the Bemuser comes in and remarks "that is a pretty lady" before grabbing Lissard on the chest causing Lissard to cry out. "Get off me you idiot i'm a guy."

Corbiss the Bemuser decides to leave the castle.......... before Lissard lets Lord Fear know what happened......... but Lord Fear has just got the text from Lissard........ so Corbiss the Bemuser is being hunted down by Lord Fear as we speak......... Will he escape?

Corbiss has just been caught by lord fear ......the good news is that Lord Fear just wanted him to say sorry to lissard....... then lissard had to say sorry to lord fear for wearing his robe with a blond wig.....

lord fear then makes a public apology to any watchers who caught lissard dancing or singing.... he says he is not that cruel.

Treguard is very shocked that both armies have got Christmas presents from Santa Claus this year.

Treguard is even more shocked when both armies have Christmas dinner at Lord Fear's castle without fighting........ They normally fight every year.

A christmas one for you all. lol.

...Sly Hands gets his name legally changed to "Ben", dons the classic helmet, and goes on a quest for the Shield.

that's a good one..... i'm laughing so much at that one....... I might get hiccups again.

Pickle has a university degree

Pickle has got three university degrees and a HNC.

He has a degree in spellcasting. One in joking about and winding people up. And one in midwife skills for some weird reason. His HNC is English. The language and how to teach it. He is studying for a HNC in media and one in toy making. He is getting a NC in maths as well.

On meeting Lord Fear, he is drunk and offers to show you his little pet dragon

Lord Fear is very friendly to folk when drunk. The problem is mainly that he can't pour the tea or cut a big slice of chocolate cake when drunk. He loves chocolate cake. Only saves it for honoured guests... if you're very lucky.... you might get a bit.

The pet dragon likes to sit in people's laps and he has caused six fires today already. His name is Trident and he is a right fire breather when he gets excited. He hates having baths. Sometimes sand just doesn't get the mucky dragon clean.

So there stands Corbiss the Bemuser. Wary of the Angelic Eagle, "inundated with questions, questions, questions", hoping somehow to keep his allotment without losing the plot.

After evading a flying piece of Igneous, the Angelic Eagle has fled, leaving only a feather behind. (Some say the eagle sought refuge with another wall monster, Granitas, who has returned to the dungeons after running an anti-Corbiss restaurant in Islington.) Corbiss the Bemuser turns the feather into a quill by using it to write a parchment to the new T. Bag (an empowered sister to Tallulah and Tabatha, thought to be named Theresa), urging her to consider the plight of the leopard when choosing her footwear. But after spilling ink over the parchment and finding his blotting paper inadequate, Corbiss abandons it and leaves for an engagement. Later, one of his ogres arrives and condemns the "****ing useless blotters" as he deals with the spillage. Whether he is happy to clean up Corbiss' mess, or doesn't even realise he's doing it, is unclear.

Where did Corbiss go? Concerned for the structural integrity of the dungeon chambers, he attends a cube solidarity rally. He is later questioned about it by an elf of Elvandis (referred to by the tongue-tied as "Elvan-Davis") who brings news to knights. During this interview, Corbiss insists, "I don't do malice." A sorceress from Knightmare Series 4 would later remark, "I'd like to see him try!"

As the interview concludes, the ogre arrives with a slice of Series 8 Life Force Pie (Corbiss felt sorry for it) and a cup of stinkwort tea. But he trips on another stray piece of Igneous and the contents of the tray go all over Corbiss. Blaming the equipment, the ogre rages about "****ing useless platters".

"You could have done with protection against the platter," the cheeky elf says to Corbiss. "Where's a tray guard when you need it?"

Pickle and Majida use the different helmets of justice and remake Robot Wars by building their own robots using said helmets and fighting each other. Skarkill gets invited to Lord Fear's castle for tea and finds out about Pickle and Majida remaking Robot Wars. Lord Fear decides to build a robot too as does Skarkill. Treguard decides to act as referee.

After Pickle beats everyone else in the fight by running around and knocking all other fighters into the pit. The gang sit together and watch Robot Wars the new series on bbc 2.

After the show ends Pickle asks Treguard and Lord Fear. "When is Knightmare coming back on?" They both reply. "I don't know. Still waiting on the phone call from Tim."

While Lord Fear is at Treguard's castle Lissard has a little song and dance wearing a overly long robe of Lord Fear's. He has found a long blond wig and has decided to wear it with the robe. Corbiss the Bemuser comes in and remarks "that is a pretty lady" before grabbing Lissard on the chest causing Lissard to cry out. "Get off me you idiot i'm a guy."

Corbiss the Bemuser decides to leave the castle.......... before Lissard lets Lord Fear know what happened......... but Lord Fear has just got the text from Lissard........ so Corbiss the Bemuser is being hunted down by Lord Fear as we speak......... Will he escape?

[*]majida lives in a teapot instead of a bottle

]

And i can just picture Treguard having guests over and picking up the wrong teapot to pour. Majida will crack up at him.

[*]someone puts in a 'DISMISS' spell for the dungeoneers to use for a laugh

I'm laughing so hard at that one. Still got hiccups.

 Fear is seen through the eyeglass gloating - and holding a white fluffy kitten

Laughing at that one so hard..... i now have hiccups..... but then Lord Fear is an animal lover i am told.

*Played as ever by a dentist.

Completely OT and unfair, but I laugh whenever I see the abuse of the english language in the thread title from someone who, admittedly over 12 years later, is an english teacher

Fixed. By another English teacher.

As I see it, one member was showing appreciation of another member's deliberate yet ironic use of textspeak. Not sure anything needed fixing there, especially not nine months after Rachel's comment.

Haha! Sorry for bumping this thread by the way I first saw this when I was 16 and I'm 28 now. I missed all these old classic threads

That is nothing to apologise for, Glenn. You didn't really bump the thread as such: it was a side effect of you adding to it. The heyday of the forum's great humour threads may have passed, but at least us old-timers can look back on them together and still contribute when a new idea does pop into our heads. I'm glad you came back.

Completely OT and unfair, but I laugh whenever I see the abuse of the english language in the thread title from someone who, admittedly over 12 years later, is an english teacher

Fixed. By another English teacher.