E's two-headed,

Lol, shows you how much I know about old festus  doesnt it?

I'll shuddup now

Gives festus 2 big juicy bones, one for each head

I like two headed thingies... and I like things that bark or howl. So I like Festus. And what about Mildread imitating that dungeneers voice and trying to lead him on to that couldron... Now THATS evil...

And 'e 'as 5 tails. And 'e likes barking. And e's behind you.

sound of electronic barking followed by chewing

Oops. Too late. Sorry, dearie.

also i think she said he had about 6 tails or something?

What an ungly looking thing.. 2 heads and a stump kinda disgusting

She was sadistic, no doubt, one minute friendly, next rather nasty.

Playing her in RPG5 was mucho fun    And I can bet Tom Karol was more than pleased with his role.

Shame she did not carry on for S4 and beyond.

"what is iodine used for?"

Pure evil- treating any kind of graze or cut

plain cruel- treating large cuts

sweet- oh i used to use that but it stings really badly so i'll go and get you an elastoplaste and a cookie

took chemistry as a child- it a halogen element that can be used in the production of aromatic nitriles.

Simple test.

{Floats there, ominously...}

Why shouldn't I shove a dungeoneer near Festus? If they come trespassing on Grimwold property, I think I've got every right. If I gets goblins coming to visit, should I welcome them and invite them all in to share me 'omemade quiches? We've got the deeds to this old wellway room of ours and all- and who do ya think built the wellway? Eh? You think kidsies came down and dug it out? No, Festus dug it while looking for an old bone 'e buried, and these brats come past expecting to sidesteppy sidesteppy down it for free, well I just don't think that's right.    

And the map? I was trying to help, dearies. Us cackling crones are stereotyped like you wouldn't believe. I cackled once at my interview at the Level 1 Asda and I was out of the door. It's discriminin... disrinim..., it's unfair is what it is, dearie. 'Ow are we supposed to support a family on Grimmy's ogre-ing wage, eh? I'm at my wit's end what with Grimmy paying more attention to that wench Smelly Sandra or whatever it is, a massive multi-headed electronically barking canine that isn't really a canine and only I can see, and a Brollachan- well, heaven knows what that is but it wants knowledge and us Grimwolds just don't 'ave a lot of that. Bones we got plenty of, but we just can't convince it that we just don't know the meaning of life, the chemical structure of water or the real reason Mellisandre Messenger was asked to host Fort Boyard, so it keeps on askin' and askin'.    

I'm so glad someone realises I'm a kind hearted soul, Arcengal. Now, if you'd just like to swap me that magic horn there for this map I've got... No, course yer can't see it before yer buy it.... Look, It's a map of Swindon, alright... well, I did hear Mogdred's taken up residence there, so it'd be ever so useful... oh, be like that, then- turn to yer left- just over here dearie, that's it, keep walking...

sound of electronic barking overlaid with mad cackling

Shame on you for accusing such a charming lady of such a crime.

Wait a minute, did I imagine that one?