<![CDATA[A great Knightmare joke...]]>My best friend and I were always big Knightmare fans and we always have a laugh about it every so often. Recently, he thought up this great joke which had me laughing for days! Here it is...

(note, Majida has been replaced with Pickle in this joke, simply because Pickle is funnier!)

It's 1994. The final series of Knightmare has come to an end. Treguard has said farewell to all the contestants and the dungeons have all collapsed. The show is now well and truly over.

Treguard walks across the room and puts out the fireplace that has burnt over the past 8 years.

Everything is quiet and still.

Finally, Treguard hangs up his cape, turns to Pickle and says, "Spellcasting... d, h, s, s." and they both vanish, never to be seen again.

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/topic/60/a-great-knightmare-joke...RSS for NodeSun, 13 Sep 2026 04:09:55 GMTMon, 09 Dec 2002 22:48:45 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Fri, 10 Jul 2026 23:22:13 GMT]]>Topical

Screenshot 2026-07-10 114123.png

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53419https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53419Fri, 10 Jul 2026 23:22:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Sun, 10 May 2026 19:52:58 GMT]]>vlcsnap-2026-05-09-16h59m03s511.png

vlcsnap-2026-05-09-16h59m03s511.png

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53372https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53372Sun, 10 May 2026 19:52:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Fri, 06 Feb 2026 17:09:27 GMT]]>You know what Knightmare brainteaser/joke I've always wanted to pose to that team!

Rearrange the following six letters to make:

  1. Your home town (minus -on-Trent)

  2. A word that describes all four of you in varying ways

Clue: It's two different words!

R, A, K, E, N, W

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53338https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53338Fri, 06 Feb 2026 17:09:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Fri, 06 Feb 2026 13:34:32 GMT]]>Team 7 from season 2 would have said "E-Y-E-T-T - duh!"

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53337https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53337Fri, 06 Feb 2026 13:34:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Wed, 04 Feb 2026 21:16:37 GMT]]>That was cutting-edge humour back in the day... or at least it was a Knightmare-specific version of a joke that was mercilessly doing the rounds at school.

Here's a classic from my house, late 1993:

Q: What is Lissard's favourite children's TV programme?

A: The Family Ness.

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53335https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53335Wed, 04 Feb 2026 21:16:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Wed, 04 Feb 2026 19:20:30 GMT]]>

I-T, duh!

The really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really old ones are the oldest.

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53334https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53334Wed, 04 Feb 2026 19:20:30 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Fri, 30 Jan 2026 22:54:58 GMT]]>Hopefully the caller gave a different answer than Helen and Giles!

Here are a couple more classics that were made up in my childhood home...

Q: What does Treguard say when he shows someone the garage where he keeps his clapped-out old Skoda?

A: "This is the lair of the dreaded car."

Gwendoline: The first password you'll need is Saracen. That'll get you past the first blocker.

Advisor: Ask how you spell it.

Kathryn: How do you spell it?

Gwendoline: I-T, duh!

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53330https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53330Fri, 30 Jan 2026 22:54:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Fri, 30 Jan 2026 22:48:09 GMT]]>What did the waiter say to Lillith, Hordriss, Maldame, Pixel and Aesandre after he served them their meals?

"Is ANYTHING to your satisfaction?"

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53329https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53329Fri, 30 Jan 2026 22:48:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Fri, 30 Jan 2026 22:34:40 GMT]]>What did Mogdred say to a caller when he was helping out on the phones on Children In Need?

"Do you so pledge?"

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53328https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53328Fri, 30 Jan 2026 22:34:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Fri, 30 Jan 2026 16:18:19 GMT]]>This all reminds me of a truly excellent Knightmare joke.

Q: What did Mogdred say to the first dungeoneer from Series 4 after he'd fixed her faulty TV aerial?

A: "There will be no interference, Helen."

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53327https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53327Fri, 30 Jan 2026 16:18:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Fri, 30 Jan 2026 14:00:06 GMT]]>Close enough.

For the hard-of-thinking, it's "Luke upon Mogdred & Quayle!"

So for the REALLY hard-of-thinking, that's, "Look upon Mogdred and quail!"

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53326https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53326Fri, 30 Jan 2026 14:00:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Thu, 29 Jan 2026 12:06:12 GMT]]>"As for you who watch, Hamil upon Woodnutt now. Hamil upon Woodnutt, and Dan."

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53325https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53325Thu, 29 Jan 2026 12:06:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Wed, 28 Jan 2026 19:54:56 GMT]]>What's the saying from KM, everyone???

Look upon Mogdred and Quayle.jpg

Look upon Mogdred and Quayle.jpg

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53324https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53324Wed, 28 Jan 2026 19:54:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Sat, 03 Jan 2026 00:57:50 GMT]]>

Interesting thought. What I would say is that that sort of thing would happen in every episode of PGMOL were running things.

And VAR can only dream of making decisions as quickly as Tim!

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53312https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53312Sat, 03 Jan 2026 00:57:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Sat, 03 Jan 2026 00:07:55 GMT]]>Interesting thought. What I would say is that that sort of thing would happen in every episode of PGMOL were running things.

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53311https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53311Sat, 03 Jan 2026 00:07:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Thu, 01 Jan 2026 23:17:09 GMT]]>

If the Dungeon was run by PGMOL.

olgarth-granitas-s.jpg

I think this kind of happened sometimes, LOL... remember when Julie scored 2 out of 3 but then Brangwen just said "No other knowledge is earned" after revealing their quest? I reckon Natasha Pope had accepted "on a mountain" for the third riddle but then Tim got in her ear because he wanted Mount Everest, so it was belatedly disallowed!

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53308https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53308Thu, 01 Jan 2026 23:17:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Thu, 01 Jan 2026 19:15:05 GMT]]>KM Lfc at Xmas - before and after.png

KM Lfc at Xmas - before and after.png

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53306https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53306Thu, 01 Jan 2026 19:15:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Thu, 01 Jan 2026 14:11:23 GMT]]>KM NY 2nd thoughts.png

KM NY 2nd thoughts.png

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53304https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53304Thu, 01 Jan 2026 14:11:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Thu, 01 Jan 2026 11:13:35 GMT]]>If the Dungeon was run by PGMOL.

olgarth-granitas-s.jpg

olgarth-granitas-s.jpg

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53302https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53302Thu, 01 Jan 2026 11:13:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Sun, 17 Nov 2024 01:44:23 GMT]]>467323984_500229346378213_275988107399766647_n.jpg

467323984_500229346378213_275988107399766647_n.jpg

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53145https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53145Sun, 17 Nov 2024 01:44:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Sat, 21 Sep 2024 15:09:53 GMT]]>When Sidriss took her cat Bethsemane to get neutered, she couldn't bear to watch in the same room. She ended up using a spayglass.

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53108https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53108Sat, 21 Sep 2024 15:09:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Sat, 03 Aug 2024 23:08:49 GMT]]>Treguard - Blockbusters not an O.png

Treguard - Blockbusters not an O.png

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53097https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53097Sat, 03 Aug 2024 23:08:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Sat, 03 Aug 2024 23:06:42 GMT]]>Treguard - Blockbusters hot spot.png

Treguard - Blockbusters hot spot.png

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53096https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53096Sat, 03 Aug 2024 23:06:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to A great Knightmare joke... on Fri, 26 Jul 2024 16:08:15 GMT]]>453039178_420953354305813_3616841966492700496_n.jpg

Let's be honest, the early Treguard would if he could.

453039178_420953354305813_3616841966492700496_n.jpg

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53094https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/53094Fri, 26 Jul 2024 16:08:15 GMT