TEAM:

Is this the real life

Is this just fantasy

Caught in a bomb room

No escape from the bang you see.

Open our eyes

Look up to the skies and seeee

We screwed the quest up

We need no sympathy

Cos its easy come

Easy go

Little light

It had to blow

As you know the tale goes

It doesn’t really matter to meeeee

Treguard

Just killed a lad

There was a bomb up by his head

If we were quicker

He’d not be dead

Treguard

The quest had just begun

And we’ve just gone and blown him all away…

Treguaaaaard

OoooOoooOooo Nasteeee

Didn’t mean to make him die

Will we have to face his brother tomorrow?

Carry on…carry on…

But we already screwed up.

Too late

The chime has bonged

Sends shivers down our spines

Dropped our pencils, we’re outta time

Goodbye all you viewers

We’ve got to go

Gotta leave behind the quest

And face the school…

Treguaaaard

OoooOoooOooo Nasteeee

Didn’t mean to make him fry

Now we wish we’d never auditioned at all

No no nooo no noooooooo…

I see a little fuse asparking in the room

KadaBOOM KadaBOOM

He’s about to go bang, oh

Gunpowder and lightning

Very very frightening, See

How he spray, Oh

(How he spray, Oh)

How he spray, Oh

(How he spray, Oh)

How he spray, Oh Christ oh no!

Off it go-o-o-oes

DUNGEONEER:

I’m just a poor boy

Why’d you have to kill me

TEAM:

He’s just a poor boy

Splattered on the TV screen

Though we got him past the wall monstrosity

TREGUARD:

Easy come, easy go

Now you have to go

TEAM:

Dungeonmaster, NO!

You cannot make us go!

TREGUARD:

Now you have to go

TEAM:

You cannot make us go

TREGUARD:

You must go

TEAM:

You cannot make us go

TREGUARD:

You must go

TEAM:

No no no no no no no

Oh Treguard please oh Treguard please

Oh Treguard please don’t make us go

His big brother has a sledgehammer aside for we

For we

For WE!

DUNGEONEER:

So you think you can quest me and spend my life

So you think you can bomb me and leave me to diiiiie

Oh, maybe

You think “he’s gonna hate me”

You got it right

You just got it right now I’m here

ALL:

But nothing really matters

Anyone can see

PICKLE’S VOICE:

Except Mary Whitehouse

TREGUARD:

AHEM!

ALL:

Nothing really matters

Its just a little game

To meeeeeee

Anyway the bomb blows…

BOOM