Digressing for a moment, I'm pleasantly surprised at how many of Queen's wonderful songs can be applied to Knightmare, however tenuously. From 'Ogre Battle' on their debut album, to 'Play The Game' and 'Another One Bites The Dust', to 'Friends Will Be Friends'.

Here is another offering from me:

Treguard has just unleashed Majida from her bottle. He looks patently unimpressed; and he is in good company in doing so. His eyes widen in shock as Majida begins to gyrate, to groan, to sing (to the tune of this Christina Aguilera song

'I feel like I've been on the dole

For a century of tasteless dress

Waiting for someone

To employ me

You're pursing your lips

And throwing hisses my way

But that don't mean

I'm gonna hotfoot away

Tregy Tregy Tregy'

[Treguard upturns the Helm Of Justice in case of need]

'Oh-ooh-oh-ooh-oh

The Dungeoneer's here let's go

Oh-ooh-oh-ooh-oh

But your face is saying no

If you wanna watch TV

Baby there's a price to pay

I'm a genie from a bottle

Gonna rub you up the wrong way

If you wanna work with me

I can make Knightmares come true

Gonna make a bad impression

Gonna criticise you

I'm a genie from a bottle baby

Gonna rub you up the wrong way honey

I'm a genie from a bottle baby'

[TREGUARD:]

'Um, um, um, someone please get her out'

[MAJIDA:]

'Having adventures with the lights down low

Knapsack, Shield, Helm and away you go

Waiting for someone

To heed me

Goblins racing at the speed of light'

[TREGUARD:]

'Tim, please, I want her out before tonight'

[MAJIDA:]

'Tregy, Tregy Tregy

Oh-ooh-oh-ooh-oh

There's no more Pickle let's go

Oh-ooh-oh-oooh-oh

But your face is saying no (no)

If you wanna watch TV

Baby there's a price to pay

I'm a genie from a bottle

Gonna rub you up the wrong way

If you wanna work with me

I can make Knightmares come true

[Sound of paper rustling as Treguard feverishly checks his contract scroll]

Gonna make a bad impression

Gonna criticise you'

...And the rest just repeats the above.