Stilleta: Jolly dangerous crossing such a busy road, young chicken...

Heggatty: Oi, chicken! Where d'you think you're goin' eh, eh, eh?

Romahna: You there! Chicken! get away from the edge of that road before I pincussion you!

Maldame: If you cross this road, We'll allow you into our council...Perhaps as a rooster.

I know these were pretty fowl, but...No! Forgive me for my awful punning!

Silly things you may do whilst watching Knightmare:

During series three you admire Treguards Fake tan enviously wishing that you could have a similar one

During a later series spyglass scene you hold up a magnifying glass

You start laughing at Motley's jokes

You start guiding the dungeoneer

U ARE IN A ROOM WITH A ,.OT OD PEOPLE DRUNK (FOR ME THIS WAs september 2001 21st i think and u mention knignhtamre as u have had too mcu vodkla 30 mins later r in a room with a bed and table and tv andf video knightmare series 4 is being played watichg alex fall over 5 times (as people founf this very amusing) now u know knighhtm,are is funny wen drunk!!

Snapper Jack:

This one's too smart for Jack, we go for easier pluckings.

Just Add "Snipper-Snap, Snipper-Snap" and you have yourself a proper Snaper-Jack quote.

Hmmmm Skarkill:

How about this.

"It crossed the bloomin Road cause me an Grippa 'N' Rhark caught up with it an I said.

"Grippa, Rhark Leave It. That Chicken will make a LOVELY Rost Dinner. Right Stand your ground Chicken while I gets The Irons on yer"

"HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH.......LOVELY."

Every time you see a bird fly overhead you implore it to "say goodnight, Jack!"

This one's too smart for Jack, we go for easier pluckings.

'Hey, you a bird! I tell you what: you give me the tips on how to make sweet music with thee birds, and I help you to cross road. That sound good to you, chick-hen?'

And Golgarach:

'Stop, intruder! Look left, look right, look left again, cross carefully when there is no traffic, taking care as you do so... then turn and face me!'

Maybe 1 or 2 others I've missed out.

Backtracking a bit to the chicken-crossing-road tangent:

Assassins: Say nothing, just flee sheepishly and invisibly, with the sound of clucking ringing in their ears.

Julie's Advisor (Series 3): 'Say hello to the wheels, chicken, and ask them if they'd like a feather.'

I'm happy that people have taken my top-ten-reasons-why lists and are thinking up their own, and I'd hoped that would happen when I invented them in the first place. (I don't even mind whether or not I'm credited for the original idea.) Hats off, while I'm on the subject, to Stephen Webberley for some of the brilliant ones he thought up for Nic's site (especially the chess-match one  -  why didn't I think of that? Curses).

What I meant when I said stop stealing my ideas was that a lot of the ones in this topic seem to be recycled directly from the original lists I wrote three years ago. (Great goblins, has it really been that long?) For instance, the following one...

"You have purchased several circular saws and mounted them to your hallway walls in an attempt to reconstruct the CoB."

...is almost identical to one of the entries in "Five more reasons why..." on my site.

Having said that, if you came up with the ideas for yourselves and they just happen to be similar to the originals then I apologise for protesting too much, but it does seem a wee bit suspicious.

And some of the new ones here are very good. I especially like, "When you get into a lift at the top floor you say down when you press the button to go down, count the floors and then say stop just before you get to the floor you want."

Anyway... while we're doing this thread, anybody fancy coming up with some new KM chicken jokes for me? (If you don't know what I'm talking about at this point, visit http://havetstorm.tripod.com/knightmare/id9.html and find out.)

Hey you lot, stop stealin' my ideas!

As I did say on my first post of this thread:

There have been a few of these done before including on the main site and on one or two other sites...

So I sort of did give credit to others who have done this before including HStorm. I should have put your name before. Mine are different to yours though, I hope!

"True and False, False and True, open up and let us through."

Five reasons why Knightmare might have made you scared of/cunfused in the dark

You shout "go away at shadows"

You here footsteps whilst walking down an ally and thinking that they are goblin's you start to speed up/run

You try to cast a lantern spell

You hear voices and you say "where am I"

You walk cautiously with a shining torch through a long allyway as if you're walking through a dwarf tunnel.

http://www.talkknightmare.co.uk/forum/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=4;action=display;num=1069198616