<![CDATA[Political Knightmares]]>Things politicians would say if they got a new job in the dungeon...

Treguard:  "You're doing well, but there's a long way to go."

Tony Blair:  "Indeed. We've come a long way, but there is still much to be done in our third level in the dungeon, and many tough decisions must be made. We may have to suspend funding for the National Elf Service, but we can raise new funds with my plans to introduce tuition fees for goblins in further education..."

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/topic/796/political-knightmaresRSS for NodeSun, 13 Sep 2026 16:41:03 GMTTue, 30 Dec 2003 02:50:00 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Thu, 29 Apr 2010 09:47:32 GMT]]>Gordon Brown: "It was a disaster, meeting that Watcher - the bigot."

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/38919https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/38919Thu, 29 Apr 2010 09:47:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Thu, 07 Dec 2006 14:01:28 GMT]]>Lord Fear: Ali, is there a Dungeoneer on Level 3?

Comical Ali: There is no Dungeoneer in Level 3. We have shot down numerous Dungeoneers as you can see from our Film Footage (que same film reel he showed Lord Fear the last 5 times he has asked). I cannot believe the news that the powers that be will say to you Lord Fear in order to try and make them convince you that they are winning.

Comical Ali: We shall defend ourselves with the blessing of Allah

Lord Fear: Look you imbisile the Dungeoneer is behind you.

Comical Ali: I can be confident when I say that there are no Dungeoneers in Level 3 Lord Fear.

Lord Fear: Ah Forget it. I'll just deal with it myself.

Comical Ali: There are no Fireballs...

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/35198https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/35198Thu, 07 Dec 2006 14:01:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Wed, 06 Dec 2006 18:03:47 GMT]]>Oh yes, I hadn't noticed that. Clever point.

Say, does that mean the giant wide-mouthed toad from S3 is Treguard's w-... no, better not say it!

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/35196https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/35196Wed, 06 Dec 2006 18:03:47 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:51:56 GMT]]>The Opposition replaces its somewhat vampire-esque leader with one who is younger, trendier, more technologically-minded, and popularised by observers looking in on regular video broadcasts of him. Talk about life imitating art!

Meanwhile, McGrew fumes about not being Dungeon Master yet.

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/35195https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/35195Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:51:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Fri, 19 Mar 2004 17:57:20 GMT]]>Treguard:  Warning team, life force energy low, you must eat something now!

[Team finds table in next room]

Pickle: Master I don't believe it!  John Prescott has eaten all the food.

BONG!

Treguard:  Ooohhh nasty!

                Well team, that has left you with some food for thought!  At least you avoided Michael Howard.  There's something of the Knight about him.

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/20238https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/20238Fri, 19 Mar 2004 17:57:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Tue, 16 Mar 2004 15:02:53 GMT]]>Clare Short:  "It is with sadness that I must report that the Powers-That-Be have been using spyglasses to eavesdrop on Kofi Annan while he was negotiating a peace treaty with the Opposition..."

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/19947https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/19947Tue, 16 Mar 2004 15:02:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Tue, 06 Jan 2004 23:44:46 GMT]]>Lord Fear:  (Into magic mirror) "Chamberlain? Chamberlain? Where are you, you loathsome little Goblin Mas-... ah, there you are, Chamberlain. The new quest is under way already. What news on the operation to intercept it?"

Neville Chamberlain:  "Earlier today I had a conversation with the new dungeoneer, and I have in my hand this piece of paper, which the dungeoneer has signed, giving his solemn promise that on no occasion in this adventure would he make any attempt to enter level three..."

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16613https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16613Tue, 06 Jan 2004 23:44:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Mon, 05 Jan 2004 01:00:49 GMT]]>Iraqi Foreign Minister:  "This feeble futile attack on our sovereignty by this Julian Smith imperialist will avail nothing but tears and blood. When he enters the third level he will meet a terrible fate, and a mother will cry for her... Oh bllcks!"

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16329https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16329Mon, 05 Jan 2004 01:00:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Mon, 05 Jan 2004 00:49:17 GMT]]>LOL! Outstanding!

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16328https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16328Mon, 05 Jan 2004 00:49:17 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Mon, 05 Jan 2004 00:47:26 GMT]]>Any Tory leader after an election defeat:

"We'll be back, bigger, bolder and better equipped...."

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16327https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16327Mon, 05 Jan 2004 00:47:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Mon, 05 Jan 2004 00:45:50 GMT]]>

Don't know where the devil eyes could go, I don't see Jon very much now. Did anyone watch the Deadringers new year special yesterday?

The first of two Christmas specials is being repeated tomorrow, 9.30pm on BBC2

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16326https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16326Mon, 05 Jan 2004 00:45:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Sun, 04 Jan 2004 20:11:53 GMT]]>Winston Churchill:  "Our aim is victory, victory at all costs. We shall fight them in the villages, we shall fight them in the forests. We shall fight them with growing coinfidence in the air from Smirkenorff's back. We shall fight them on the landing area, we shall fight them in the castles... We shall fight them in the caverns... we shall never surrender. Surrender? You must be out of your tiny mind."

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16263https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16263Sun, 04 Jan 2004 20:11:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Sat, 03 Jan 2004 23:38:02 GMT]]>Aesandre:  "Lord Fear, if you were my husband I'd put poison in your dungeon juice."

Lord Fear:  "Madame, if I were your husband I would drink it. And then blow you away with a few well-placed fireballs."

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16186https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16186Sat, 03 Jan 2004 23:38:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Sat, 03 Jan 2004 21:03:20 GMT]]>In my latest KM fanfic, one of the characters (an American tourist of sorts) judges Wolfenden to be more 'thatched roofs' than 'Thatcherite rule'.

[Mistress Goody bumps into Brother Mace in one of the Series 4 rooms.]

MG: 'Sir - you're drunk!'

BM: 'Madam, you are ugly; but in the morning I'll be sober!'

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16174https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16174Sat, 03 Jan 2004 21:03:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Sat, 03 Jan 2004 12:56:48 GMT]]>Don't know where the devil eyes could go, I don't see Jon very much now. Did anyone watch the Deadringers new year special yesterday?

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16141https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16141Sat, 03 Jan 2004 12:56:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Sat, 03 Jan 2004 03:06:52 GMT]]>LOL!

My favourite Ashdownism from Spitting Image was the one when he went to the optician. "It is not a question of examining my left eye first, or my right eye, but somewhere in between. So test the bridge of my nose."

Can anyone think up a devil's eyes poster we could slot into KM?

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16126https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16126Sat, 03 Jan 2004 03:06:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Sat, 03 Jan 2004 02:56:22 GMT]]>Thatcher: 'Me? Retire? You must be out of your tiny MIND!!'

Ashdown: 'I neither sidestepped through the left portal, nor the right portal, but somewhere in between.'

[I've never forgiven my mum for taping over the Spitting Image 1992 Election special, which included all three party leaders singing a special version of 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life'...]

Dunswater Boatman: 'There is no reverse gear.'

Treguard puts up a poster in the antechamber during Series 5 saying, 'New Opposition, New Danger'. Lord Fear puts one up stating 'Same Old Powers That Be, Same Old Lies'.

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16123https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16123Sat, 03 Jan 2004 02:56:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Fri, 02 Jan 2004 23:20:56 GMT]]>Maybe, maybe not.

But it's a laff innit?

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16097https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16097Fri, 02 Jan 2004 23:20:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Fri, 02 Jan 2004 22:16:39 GMT]]>Galloway doesn't deserve that, HStorm.

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16094https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16094Fri, 02 Jan 2004 22:16:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Fri, 02 Jan 2004 21:04:21 GMT]]>something about the spy glass and weapons of mass destrcution?

or bush declareing war on a blocka wal monster for now allwoing inspetoneers past?

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16089https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16089Fri, 02 Jan 2004 21:04:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Fri, 02 Jan 2004 19:22:11 GMT]]>Is he a Knightmare fan if so you should tell him to come and join our ever growing community. If he has never heard of it or seen it before you should try and get him to watch it when it's on or/and get him to visit the main site. Anyway do you still see or speek to him?

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16083https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16083Fri, 02 Jan 2004 19:22:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Fri, 02 Jan 2004 19:00:21 GMT]]>he; his name is Jon Holmes and he was my parent's best man. His name is in the credits somewhere if you haven't switched off by then!

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16080https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16080Fri, 02 Jan 2004 19:00:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Fri, 02 Jan 2004 16:58:00 GMT]]>Lucky git! Some of the best satiritical performers in the country and s/he gets to write for them.

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16074https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16074Fri, 02 Jan 2004 16:58:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Political Knightmares on Fri, 02 Jan 2004 11:52:13 GMT]]>I love Deadringers , a friend of my parents co-writes the show!

]]>https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16064https://www.knightmare.com/forum/post/16064Fri, 02 Jan 2004 11:52:13 GMT