They would never say...

For all the comedians out there.
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Emii
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Emii »

Lord Fear: I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!!
"The alarm, Master! The opposition's tracked them! Oh good grief...look - Lord Fear's frozen Christopher!"
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Re: They would never say...

Post by MoanaLiza »

"Say hello to the gobins Jule and ask if they'd like a present..."

That is a daft thing to say really... Especially when you know that the goblins are going to beat, stab and hack you to death...
Unless of course they were called Chris.

LF to Lissard: Aaaaahhhh your breath smells really nice and fresh. Have you been into those dragon mints? Well atleast those pesky dungeoneers can't get them if you have.
Last edited by MoanaLiza on 19 Nov 2003, 22:55, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil »

Forgive my ignorance, but could someone please explain who Barry is, and why he is so significant?
Please?

In return, you can read this:

Dungeoneer: 'Treguard, would you like to do this quest instead?'
Treguard: 'No, you go.'
Dungeoneer: 'Hugo, would you like to do this quest instead?'
Knightmare: Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.
Emii
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Emii »

Right, Drassil - see Barry Topic
"The alarm, Master! The opposition's tracked them! Oh good grief...look - Lord Fear's frozen Christopher!"
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JamesA
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Re: They would never say...

Post by JamesA »

Any dungeoneer featured in the last team of the series (except Barry, of course):

"What's the point of me going on a quest if you know there's no chance that I will have enough time to complete it?"
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Fidjit »

Elita: Since you have no use of that stone you might as well hand it over...

Dungeoneer: Sod off! I've heard enough about your mouth already...
If the only way is onward how would you get home for tea?? :-/
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Re: They would never say...

Post by ajw68 »

Dungeoneer gets killed all of a sudden by Hitler

Treguard: Ooohhhh, Nazi!
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil »

emii wrote: Right, Drassil - see Barry Topic
Thank you! :)


A Dungeoneer has died. Treguard is about to send the Team on its way, when a squad of cheerleaders (including Mellisandre, Gretel, Elita and Velda) cartwheel in and begin to chant:

'Oh dear you have lost the quest
Time to go back to Skegness
Gimme a D!
Give me an I!
Gimme and S!... and M!
Give me another I!
Gimme and S!
Gimme another S!
What does it spell?
Diiiiiiiis-miss! Woo!'

Treguard: 'Ladies, if you don't mind...'

Pickle: 'I rather like them, Master.'

Treguard: 'No-one asked you, Pickle.'
Last edited by Drassil on 12 Feb 2007, 16:21, edited 1 time in total.
Knightmare: Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Malefact »

Treguard to Pickle: "Right! That's Mayfair AND Park Lane that I now own. I'm gonna open up a can of whoop-ass on your sorry hide!" :)
Subject to change.
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil »

Dungeoneer: '...And there's a scroll on the table.'

Advisor: 'OK, read it then.'

Dungeoneer: 'It says... Stop Bush.'

[Pause]

Advisor: 'Alright, take the silver, and the topiary potion.'

***

Dungeoneer: 'There's a spyglass.'

Advisor: 'Look through it.'

[Michael Howard appears in the spyglass.]

Treguard: 'Ah, Team, this is the leader of the Opposition, for this phase at least. And, rather fittingly, he is rumoured to have something of the frightknight about him.'

Pickle: 'Wasn't it Mrs. Grimwold who said that?'

Howard [looking into his crystal ball]: 'Scargill? Scargill! Where are you?'
Knightmare: Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Malefact »

Hehe, excellent! :)
Subject to change.
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JamesA
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Re: They would never say...

Post by JamesA »

The England rugby team enter the dungeon.

"We've done it! We won the cup - oh, wait a minute, this isn't an Australian rugby pitch...."
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil »

Treguard: The book, Pickle.

Pickle: Yes, Master. 'Jill stared with thrilled joy into Doug's eyes, turning the air in the boudoir to pure bliss. This, for a day or a decade, was love. As their beating hearts hammered out a treaty of mutual happiness, he slowly took...'

Treguard: No no, Pickle, the other book. The one with the quests?

Pickle: Oh. Of course.

***
Treguard: "Yes, Pickle, while the advisors are frozen by Temporal Disruption, let's amuse ourselves by putting them in silly poses and using them as coat racks... [*turns to camera and the Watchers at home*] ... Oh, you're still here? Gosh, what are you still watching this tripe for? There was something good on Children's BBC too. Anyway, don't bother tuning in next week since I'm giving up this crappy job and going to Benidorm with Mellisandre and opening my own tattoo parlour. [*puts on summer hat and exits*]
And when Treguard gets there, he strokes the paella out his beard, looks out over the water and sighs, 'Ooooh... vast sea.'

***

[A Dungeoneer got attacked by Ariadne whilst a spell was being cast, and the Team lost. Outside the TV studio, Hugo Myatt bids them farewell.]

HM: 'Goodbye, Team. Sorry about the spider bite. I hope it's not too serious.'

Former Dungeoneer: 'It's OK, Mr. Myatt. I don't feel ill. I'm sure it's fine. Bye. [He shoots web fluid from his wrist and swings away.]
Last edited by Drassil on 11 Jun 2005, 02:35, edited 1 time in total.
Knightmare: Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.
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Re: They would never say...

Post by FrightKnight »

Gwendoline the Greenwarden to one of the teams in s5:

"Well, you only got 1 out of three, but you were trying hard and you have the arrow, so I'll just take it and won't kill you. I'll leave that to the blocker."

And another team to brother Mace in s5:

"Prove that you are a monk."
Brother mace: "Oh, alright, you've got me. I'm not. I am in fact an actor wearing a costume. Happy now?"
"A rotting pie! Oh no, I'm dead!"
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Re: They would never say...

Post by Drassil »

Ariadne: 'Incy wincy human, came into Level One, down came the spider, and bit him on the... oh, the Dungeoneer's run off. I was too slow. Again.'
Knightmare: Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.
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