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dungeoneer: Motley, Motley, Motley
Motley: F*** Off, I'm busy get someone else to push ur bloody mine cart

Why else would I be sitting in it myself...  ;D

Barry: (silence)

Lord Fear: "Stop it your hurting my feelings"

Treguard: Listen here you little piece of s**t, your going in that dungeon and bringing me back my flippin' sword! Hop it!

Sly Hands: Come 'ere while I puts me magic rope on yer...
Dungeoneer: F**k off.

:o

Goblins: "Thanks for the lovely present Julie"

Treguard: Do you want to turn back?
Dungeoneer: Well now you mention it I am missing some school and its Geography today, I'm off
Treguard: Bugger, thats the 6th team this season

Dungeoneer Dies
Treguard: hmmm pleasant

Skarkill: Why thank you for finding my Goblin horn, now you can carry on with your quest without further interference from me!

Spoiler alert!

Well, it could have been a lot worse.

not really that much of a spoiler, Skarkill could have been involved with any team with a horn  ::)

Advisor to dungeoneer in the COB

Ok when I say now I want you to jump REALY high.

The Boatman: Hi there, get in its free Im a decendant of St Christopher you know.  Its shallow and you could walk across but its full of pee, syringes and used condoms.

As Theseus said to Ariadne, this has turned out to be a fantastic thread!  ;) Here goes:

Oracle: 'Near a tree by a river, there's a hole in the ground, where an old man of Aran goes around and around... The third step is the-'

Dungeoneer [replacing helmet and muting the Oracle]: 'Ah, crystal clear! We can work with that info. Let's make a move, guys.'

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Pickle [bringing Treguard a cuppa and a Custard Cream during a quest]: 'A new blend of tea for you, Master: PG Tips.'

Treguard: 'Hmm, it's advertised by chimpanzees; I wonder if that's a reflection on the taste? Let's see if it's the 'cuppa that heals', 'ey, Pickle?
[Sips the tea at the same moment as the Dungeoneer falls to his doom.] Oooooh, nice tea!'

Pickle [bringing Treguard a cuppa and a Custard Cream during a quest]: 'A new blend of tea for you, Master: PG Tips.'

Treguard: 'Hmm, it's advertised by chimpanzees; I wonder if that's a reflection on the taste? Let's see if it's the 'cuppa that heals', 'ey, Pickle?
[Sips the tea at the same moment as the Dungeoneer falls to his doom.] Oooooh, nice tea!'

That's much better than what I would come up with any day!