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Parody of The Bare Necessities from The Jungle Book

Posted: 18 Apr 2020, 20:08
by Drassil
Series 3. A team gets to Level 3 and Treguard gives them advice to the tune of The Bare Necessities from The Jungle Book. Official clip. Inspired by the discovery that Rayner Bourton (Skarkill/Julius Scaramonger) has narrated The Jungle Book.

[Treguard]
Look for the sprig of energy
The simple sprig of energy
And when you see one, hurry: they're not rife
I mean the sprig of energy
That's somewhere here on Level 3
And touch it for the energy of life

Wherever you wander
Wherever you roam
All this is the cellar
Of my great home
With millions watching on TV
To see if you win Series 3
So do look out for the magic plants
And then advance
Don't be in trance
Then wait a mo or two

[Advisor]
Magic plants?

[Treguard]
You'd better believe it
And you're going to love the way they flicker
The life force energy increase will come to you
Will come to you

Look for the sprig of energy
The simple sprig of energy
And when you see one, hurry: they're not rife
I mean the sprig of energy
(Not sure what plant it's meant to be)
And touch it for the energy of life

Now if you meet Mogdred
And he gives you a scare
And to you a sword sped
Will next time beware
Don't fear his sickening stare any more
If he summons Kaa
Try to reach the door
But if you've paths without a door
And you have to pick from a choice of four
Then I hope you have a clue

[Dungeoneer takes helmet off and sees chromakey void]
Golly, that's b-lue!

[Advisor #1]
Doors, doors... er, and how about the wizardry?

[Treguard]
Somewhat patchy. Fools risk defeat
And so you'd better be an ace at riddles too
And answer true
And answer true

[Advisor #2]
How about getting a great deal bolder now we're down here, OK?

[Advisor #3]
Yes, we should scare slower

[Advisor #1]
Yeah, Knightmare, that's it

[Dungeoneer mesmerised by the bluescreen]
Ah, this is beautiful...

[Advisor #1 making notes]
Right, scarce food
Guys, we need to get to a sprig when we're in a rough patch

[Dungeoneer]
There's lots of dungeon blue...

[Advisor #1]
Right, onward. Yeah, let's be fearless. [Muttering as he writes] Mmm. And let's find a sprig

[Treguard]
Well team, you are sounding driven
So don't try turning back, don't do it
Keep your guard in my backyard
'Cause this is no First Level kitchen
And if you don't react
You could end up charred
As you spend your time looking around
It's enemy folk who may be found
Like cavernwights and the dread Morghanna
There'll be no elf to bring a banana
And Merlin's spells are few
A sprig of energy is what will succour you

And that's the lot. Well, I hope your pluck holds out...