Knightmare.com

Okay, I've added the transcript to my page. It's in the Just For Laughs section at http://havetstorm.tripod.com/knightmare/index.html

[Treguard enters the antechamber at the beginning of Series 7.]

Treguard: 'Pickle? Pickle? Where has that elf got to?'

Pickle: [running in] 'Here, Master.'

Treguard: 'Ah. I thought you'd run away to the Green Wood after that argument we had. I regret some of what I said, you know.'

Pickle: 'No problem, Master. I enjoy the quests too much to leave. I hope to stay here for another two years at least, and maybe even come back in virtual form a few years from now.'

Treguard: 'Most acceptable, Pickle. Look: someone's left a bottle on the table.'

Pickle: 'It wasn't me, Master. I expect it's just rubbish. I'll chuck it into the Sewers of Goth the first chance I get.'

Treguard: 'Excellent.'

A dungeoneer enters clue room... On the table is a gem, a pie, an hourglass and a bone: (Series 3 Team 12)

James: First of all pick up the food

Chris: Stuff this I'll take everything

(DID YOU GET MY MESSAGE FRIGHTKNIGHT?)

Oh we've hit eleven pages on this topic!!!

Motley: 'Did you get my message, Frightknight?'
Frightknight: 'Yes I did, Motley'

Now there is an exchange which would never happen on Knightmare!  


Moving on...

Dooris: 'The Odyssey was written before the Iliad. True or false?'

Adviser #1: 'I think it's true. Definitely true.'

Adviser #3: 'You sure?'

Adviser #1: 'Yeah, cos...'

Adviser #2: 'Perhaps it's false.'

[Treguard coughs]

Adviser #3: 'Yes, maybe it's false.'

[Treguard coughs]

Advisers: 'OK, let's go with false.'

Pickle: 'Would you like a cough sweet, Master?'

Treguard: [snaps] 'No, Pickle! And I told you, it's an allergic reaction to the dust in the antechamber!'

During an Eye Shield caption...

*BANG*

Dungeoneer: Ow, you bloody wall!

Treguard: Come on you are meant to see where you are going...

Dungeoneer: It doesnt flipping help with my eyes shut does it...

Lissard:

"Yes Your LORDSHIP."

ADVISOR: What would happen if someone poked the Eye Shield in its eye?

DUNGEONEER: I wanna know! Let's try it!

TREGUARD: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Treguard: 'You know, Majida, you claim to be a genie, but you've never granted me any wishes.'

Majida: 'OK, OK. Three wishes you have. Take some time to think abou-'

[Pickle appears in the antechamber; Majida disappears and reappears in the Corridor of Blades; Hordriss appears in a Hawaiian shirt and jeans, and dances.]

Elita: hello face ache

Dungoneer: shut it you stupid biyotch

Pickle: thats right  *enter name here* keep insulting her

Majida: He is too easy, this is not hard enough
*All look at her in shock*
Majida: Well I had to learn proper English sooner or later you know

*Dungeoneer is adventuring when suddenly they see a strange group*
Advisors: Ok it appears to be a Dwarf, an Elf, a wizard, 2 men and some hobbits.
*Goblin horn sounds*
Gandalf: Quick we must flee from the goblins
Dungeoneer: That is the way to level 2 though!
*Goblins chase fellowship and dungeoneer over Moria, Gandalf is attacked by Balrog and falls down bridge as Skarkill watches*

Skarkill: Lovely!

*snerk*

Dreadnought [approaching Dungeoneer]: 'Going a trifle fast, weren't we, madam? Blow into this... OK, you're clear. You may pass; but if I catch you again, I'll take points off your license; maybe three, perhaps six...'

***

Mellisandre and Motley go into a restaurant. Mogdred, the maitre d', shows them to a table.]

Mogdred: As for you who dine: Look upon menus! Look upon menus, and quail!

Motley: Why?

Mogdred: I meant, I recommend the quail a l'orange, or as a vegetarian option, the spaghetti napolitana.

[Shortly, a waiter comes over. It is Ross, the Series 3 Dungeoneer whose quest had been to find Mellisandre.]

Ross: May I take your orders?

Mellisandre: Curry, Ross, curry!

Skarkill Catches A Dungoneer.


Skarkill: "RIGHT GOTCH YER. Skarkills caught yer hasn't he.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....BEAUTIFUL"



Dungeoneer: Errr. Don't You Mean LOVELY.


Skarkill: Naar Got Tired of That Thought I'd Try Someret different.

Dungoneer: You Sound Like Bernerd Matthews.

Treguard: Welcome watchers, to Dungeon Wars! Where we get two geeky kids from weird locations to slog it out guided by advisors. Now lets see that metal *cough* I mean flesh, Fly!
  *Dungeoneers begin to fight*
Advisors: Ok punch left, bit more ok now!
Treguard: Who cares if we rip off Robot Wars, no one is watching anymore!