Knightmare.com

E's two-headed, which is better than being two-faced like that b**** Mildread. (I'll tell 'er where to stick her first place trophy from the pie making contest.) Used to av' three, but Grimwold- that's my 'ubbie, dearie, bit one of 'em off. We do now know it was down to the fact that 'is pie- the one I leaves for 'im in the kitchen- 'ad been stolen by none other than Smelly Sandra, or worrever 'er name is.

And 'e 'as 5 tails. And 'e likes barking. And e's behind you.

*sound of electronic barking followed by chewing*

Oops. Too late. Sorry, dearie.  

Gives a bone to Featus
I like two headed thingies... and I like things that bark or howl. So I like Festus. And what about Mildread imitating that dungeneers voice and trying to lead him on to that couldron... Now THATS evil...

E's two-headed,

Lol, shows you how much I know about old festus  doesnt it?

I'll shuddup now

*Gives festus 2 big juicy bones, one for each head*