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Doh now I get it

why was Olgarth's head always so chilly in knightmare's winters?

because of his Falsehood

saw this pic and had to bring it to the topic...sorry


"Elita evidently sleeps with her mouth open"

ok, ill stop trying to tell jokes

Hehehe no carry on - I need a good groan sometimes...

why was pickle distressed as the bells went at the start of simons quest?

we'll have to weight and see

terribly cruel and taken from treguard

OooooOoooooOooooOooooo....OWCH!
*gives thumbs up whilst Simon isn't looking*

Brother strange's book of proverbs (it was brother strange wasn't it?)

No.32 "Many hands make light work"
No.33 "Many Hands smell worse than one"

Majida: A Life In Pictures by E. Stu. D. Feecult

Took me a while to work that one out, I must admit.

Can you make a Knightmare joke or convert a joke to Knightmare style?.

Heres mine.

Treguard, Brother Mace and a Floating skull go into a tavern for a drink.  Treguard orders an ale and sits down.  Brother mace also orders an ale and sits down.  The Floating white skull orders an atruskan brandy, but the barmaid says sorry we dont serve spirts.

Festus, Level 4, a dungeoneer and an inteligent blonde were all sat at a table with a 10 pound note on it.  The lights went out and when they came back on the 10 pound note was gone, who took it?.  The dungeoneer, cus Festus, level 4 and the inteligent blonde never existed.

Can you think of any?.  Mine are conversions it would be nice to have some originals.

An old topic (to be found at http://www.knightmare.info/forum/yabb/Y ... 25;start=0) has a wealth of jokes. Nonetheless, I'll re-post mine:

What's the difference between the Eye Shield and BBC Choice?

One is a pointless supplement which no-one actually likes and which was only ever put in to add some unnecessary padding and pointless TV sequences to an otherwise exemplery entity...and the other's an item in Knightmare.

What do you get if you cross Lord Fear with Sly Hands?

An evil baldy who leads the Opposition and plots to take over the country but is ugly, disreputable, alcoholic, universally derided and more of a hindrance than a help to his cause and had only one brief success in four years.

In other words, William Hague!

Majida goes to a doctor. She says "Doctor, I'm having problems with my sex life. Treguard has troubles getting an erection." The doctor says "well, all I can give you is this powder. Put some in the pepper pot, cook him dinner, once he puts pepper on the dinner and eats it, he won't have any problems then." So, Majida takes the powder, and heads back to Knightmare castle. She puts the powder in the pepper pot and cooks Treguards dinner. Treguard comes back. "I've cooked your dinner," says Majida. "I'm going upstairs to lay on the bed." "Ok," says Treguard. As Treguard sits down to eat dinner, Majida lays on the bed naked. All of a sudden, she hears Treguard laughing hysterically. She goes downstairs to find out what's going on. She says "what's going on?" Treguard replies "I just sprinkled some pepper on my dinner, then one of the sausages split its skin, and it's chasing the cat all around the dungeon."  :D

Sorry it's a long joke.

What do you call a starving Fatilla?

Fatilla The Hun-gry!

Ive got a good joke ill tell you
why did the punk cross the road
coz he was stapled to the chicken

On a serious side (well not really its a joke)

What do you get if you cross fatilla the hun and a wall
One hell of a big blocker

A newbie is having problems with his computer.  He cannot figure out which key to press next.  In desperation he asks Treguard.  Treguard strokes his magnificent beard and replies:

"Enter, stranger".

I think I just lost the will to think of any more jokes, especialy as there is another multi page thread of them.  I hope they arnt all that bad lol.