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[Treguard enters the antechamber clad in a Stafleet uniform, with gelled hair, and sits in his chair.]

Treguard: 'Dungeon Master's log, stardate 2112.3. We have arrived at... the new Phase of the Dungeon, on our mission to... retrieve the Cup that Heals, in order to halt the... plague on... Yeltom II. I have recruited a child to enter the... Dungeon and... locate the quest object.'

Pickle: [also in a Starfleet uniform, but with his usual eyebrows and ears] 'Master, it is highly illogical to send an untrained prepubescent humanoid into an unknown and potentially dangerous locale.'

Treguard: 'Mr. Pickle, with all due respect, no-one asked you. I'm giving the child a helmet for protection, what more do you want? [calls out] More power, Mr. McGrew!'

[McGrew runs in.]

McGrew: 'But Treguard, I've pushed the Dungeon as far as she'll go, she canna take any more!!'

Dungeoneer: "Where am I?"

Advisor: "In McDonalds."

Dungeoneer: "Big Mac and Fries anyone?"

Dungeoneer: "Where am I?"

Advisor: "In McDonalds."

Dungeoneer: "Big Mac and Fries anyone?"

The Dungeoneer gose to order and the guy at he till turns out to be............

Advisors: SKARKILL?

Skarkill: What'll It Be Mate ?

Dungeoneer: What Are You Doing Here ?

Skarkill: After The Red Death Incident, and Raptor Replacing Me This was the Only Place that would hire me.

Tregaurd. OHHH NASTY.

Dungeoneer to Rothberry: "Have you got anything that can cure that Level 3 Garygoyle's depression?"

sly: here , yknow i stole yer stuff in level 2 well u can have it back coz its worthless junk

Sly: As you are defenceless I won't bother you!

[Malice is in the Eye Shield Room. She sees a white rabbit run by, follows it down a rabbit hole, and ends up at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party.]

Malice: 'Curiouser and curiouser...'

***

[Hordriss enters a bar. He hops onto a bar stool and, next to him, sees someone who takes his fancy. He is looking into a mirror.]

Hordriss: 'So, does one come here often?'

Mogdred: Play a while, forever...

Dungeoneer: Looks like there's no way out guys

Advisors: Not so fast you still have the games console controller from the clue room right?

Dungeoneer: Yes...

Advisors: Well that clue from Hordriss was that we need to bend the rules properly. Of course the cheat on the scroll!

Dungeoneer: *holding up controller.*up, down, square, right, R1, L2, backwards, triangles

*Dungeoneer gains infinite life force and no-clipping (fly through walls) mode*

Treguard: *sigh* youth of today, never do things properly.

Motley: "Hello helmethead - if that my pizza you've got there for me...."

you wouldnt see a PS2 controller in KM.

Dungeoneer: bet u cant count to ten

Hordriss: course i can 1 errrr one

Elita: "That's the second pair of dungarees that pesky face-ache of a dragon has burned in the space of a week!"

(who said it was a PS2 controller, you aren't likely to find a Macdonalds either that's why its a joke )

(Dungeon Commercials)

Gwendoline: Well I see you have an arrow as a token but to be honest I have far too many, I mean my house is getting full of quivers. Don't suppose you have any pot pourri?

Dungeoneer: Nope sorry love, how about this fong shui book?

Gwen: Well I got one of them for christmas, how about a vase?

Dungeoneer: Well the scroll said...

Gwen: Oh ignore them, they haven't been updated for ages oh my god! You know what i'm saying? Sorry your quest ends here....
*Freeze Frame*

Narrator: Has this ever happened to you? If you want to know what you really should choose to satisfy all dungeon dwellers, you should subscribe to ClueBase gives you all the data on what clue items are hip and happening. Only a bag of silver a month! Clue rooms will never be the same again!

Pooka:

I'M A LEAN GREEN FIGHTING MACHINE

Lord Fear skipping through a meadow hand-to-hand with Lissard

"Oh Lissard, what a lovely day!"

Lissard farts and the flowers die!!!

Lord Fear; "I am growing weary of this, I keeping winning all the time, there's just no challenge anymore! I think I'll join Fun House with Pat Sharpe! At least I have job security there..... and those Go-Karts as well!"