Knightmare.com

I have a joke

Julys short haired adviser

I know this is a poor one but:

Q. why did Barry get banned by his local bus company for breaking all the bus windows?

A. Because there was a sign saying break glass to get hammer!

I've been reading all ye jokes and they're all classy... Why don't we all put our jokes together and make a book for all them manic Knightmare fans...

What do ye think lads 'n' ladies?

Sounds good.

Elita's mouth is so big that it has been made as the new Boulder Dam in Los Angeles.

Come on guys don't quit here...  ;D

Those jokes you made on Elita has made my entire class laugh. I posted one:

- Elita's mouth is so big that you can mistaken it for a worm-hole...

- Elita's mouth is so big that when she spits you can easily misjudge it to be the River Ganges.

Go mad... The more the merrier...  ;D

That was one of the best parts of any thread I can remember. Emii and I had such fun writing most of those. I seem to remember us both being logged in one night and coming up with the idea, and just throwing them at each other.

It'd be great to hear some more, especially now that faceache Elita's going to be on Challenge.

The first run of Elita's mouth jokes was before my time, but let me see if I can get the idea...

Elita's mouth is so big that an anthropologist wandered in there and mistook her mouth ulcer for a cave painting.

Elita's mouth is so big that ironically, she gives herself face-ache.

Elita's mouth is so big that her dentist learned how to fly a plane.

And those serpent's stomach scenes from Series 3? Elita's mouth.

Elita's mouth is so big that her lunch goes mouldy before she manages to swallow it.

Elita's mouth is so big that she mistook a javelin for a toothpick.

Er, Is that OK?

Very good indeed

I'm afraid I used up most of mine the last time, so I'm really scraping the barrel now.

Elita's mouth is so big that the rest of the dungeon denizens call it "Your Majesty".

Elita's mouth is so big the coastguard forced her to put a lighthouse in it to stop ships accidentally sailing into it and crashing on her teeth during the night.

Elita's mouth is so big George W. Bush included it in his Axis of Evil.

Elita's mouth is so big Tim Child's setting the Knew Knightmare's Level 2 in it.

Elita's mouth is so big Elton John and the Beckhams invite it to parties.

Elita's mouth is so big it has two Starbucks in it, not just one.

Hmm, we never really got going with the Sidriss jokes.

Why did Motley find Sidriss standing on the roof of the Crazed Heffer?
Marta told her the drinks were on the house.

Hordriss sent Sidriss to Wolfenden to buy him some magical supples. When she got to the sign saying "Wolfenden Left" she turned around and went home.

What do you get if you give Sidriss a penny for her thoughts?
Change.

...especially now that faceache Elita's going to be on Challenge.

Are you sure Grimaldine...?  :o

I wonder... I...I mean I hope she hasn't seen what we've been saying about her. She'd probably think that we don't like the character.  :)

We've done a fair bit of slagging off...  ;)

I'm sure she'll understand - it's not slagging off, it's having fun with a character. I bet she loves it that her very own character is so popular and has such a rep!

Q. How do you keep Sidriss waiting?
A. I'll tell you later

Q. What do you call Sidriss, Marta and Gretel standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel

Q. How did Sidriss try to kill Smirkenorff?
A. She pushed him off a cliff.

Q. What do you get if you hit Sidriss and Marta with a FREEZE spell?
A. Frosted Flakes

Not very good, I know...

Well, as the screename shows, Elita is my favourite character, and the big mouth jokes don't bother me in the least. 'Cause hey, it's true! Elita's mouth is so big that Smirkenorff can sleep in it!

Sorry if this is offending you in any way Elita...  :(