Knightmare.com

Ed Tudor Pole recently appeared in the Henry VIII drama on ITV, so it's an unfortunate coincidence if he IS dead, as it must have been since this topic started up! And in fact, I've always thought ETP was a dead ringer for Patrick Troughton.

Yes, he's very much alive, as we finally managed to persuade everyone. He's actually got several acting credits to his name, so I might not be wholly accurate when I've said he was a talentless piece of slime not fit to be stuck to the bottom of Richard O'Brien's shoe.

Well, I don't know. I guess I've just said that he's pretty awful as a presenter. He does put on a bit of a persona for TCM, and I'd say it is at least partially convincing, so yes, maybe there's acting talent there. I just still think it was completely the wrong persona since it made him appear so damn annoying and me want to whack him repeatedly over the head with the shoe he'd become removed from.

I don't really think he looks like Patrick Troughton, but I'm no real judge since I try to avoid watching the old cosmic handshaker wherever I possibly can.  

He's actually got several acting credits to his name, so I might not be wholly accurate when I've said he was a talentless piece of slime not fit to be stuck to the bottom of Richard O'Brien's shoe.

Having listened to him (attempt to) play Riff-Raff on the Rocky Horror Show - The Whole Gory Story CD, I can assure you that you are indeed accurate. And My Lord Ritz's motorbike boots are far too funky to be befouled with such slime!

Oh, but Treguard giving cosmic handshakes and signing off with something like "...Ah, but just keep telling yourself it's all an Illusion really. Anyway, Keep on Rockin'!" would be funny for all of about 10 minutes.

Thats were Pat would be best in my oppinion the signing off bit.

As long as he did it in the same style as he did when he was makeing his Doctor mysterious. It would be brill.

The best bit with Ed Tudor Pole would be him riding into the castle every episode on Bert The Imaginary Horse, who he used to talk to in TCM (since no actor could be paid enough to do so, even Auntie Sabrina).

(Sorry, I rolled a 2 again.)

He'd also fight that imaginary guy/ghost (can't remember his name) wouldn't he, which he used to fight in the Medieval Zone. GG or anyone do you remember his name? because I can't!

He'd also fight that imaginary guy/ghost (can't remember his name) wouldn't he, which he used to fight in the Medieval Zone. GG or anyone do you remember his name? because I can't!

Oh yes, I know what you mean. Gosh, Medieval Zone really was where his delusional fantasies set in. Probably best not put him in a medieval dungeon antechamber or he'd make a complete and utter fool of himself. Oh well, what the hell....

I really can't remember the name of the ghost. I seem to vaguely remember him talking about the ghost of Dennis McTudor, or something, but why he'd be fighting one of his own dead relatives would be a bit of a mystery, unless that was the relative who originally had the idea for "Ten Pole Tudor", in which case, as the old joke goes, he'd deserve to face the swords of a thousand men, rather than just his cosmic handshaking idiot of a descendant.  

The Ghost's name is

Dennis McTudor-Pole.

He suposadly built the castal that Medival zone is based in.

Oh gosh, I'm rather proud of my memory on that one, in that case.

Well, I'd like Hugo back again, but if not, then how about Alan Rickman, or they could go for something completely different, like an American/Canadian like Donald Sutherland.  I think he'd make a brilliant Dungeon Master.

Alan Rickman? You don't seriously think they'd be able to afford him do you?

Or Donald Sutherland for that matter!

Reason For Choosing Edward Tudor Pole #4328: He's Cheap!

Still overpriced though.

ETP, the gameshow equivalent of Woolworth's. Used to be cheap and nasty, but don't be fooled, he gave up being cheap years ago.