Knightmare.com

The Shellphone went when Sylvester Hands was doing the ironing.
He was taken to hospital with a burnt ear soon afterwards.

I liked that one - made me chuckle  ;D

Q. What would happen if Smirky didn't get his dragon mints off Nicola (team 2 series 7)?
A. Elita

That's a lot better  ;)

So I hear that Sylvester has had a part of his body insured
Oh, and what part's that?
Why, his hands of course!  ;D

Q. What is annoying, appears about 12 times a year, gets in the way and could be described as a curse?
A. Elita.

Yay! *hugs Emii*

lol, pleasure dearie...doubtless she has caused quite a few mood swings in people too!

Yes, dearie. If anyone brought me her bones for Festus I'd be so excited I might just let them get to Level 2 without shouting "Shurrup" and "Geddout of it" repeatedly.

Q. What do you get if you cross Barry with Elita?
A. Wit AND rudeness = one HELL of a mouth!!!!

Elita's mouth is so big it has its own postcode.

Elita's mouth is so big Hitler gave up trying to overthrow it.

Elita's mouth is so big is gets a block vote in the European Parliament.

Elita's mouth is so big her dentist has to wear a miner's helmet and do a 12-hour shift!

Elita's mouth is so big isn't it isn't it isn't it isn't it...sorry, I was standing on her bottom lip - that must have been the echo.

Elita's mouth is so big isn't it isn't it isn't it isn't it...sorry, I was standing on her bottom lip - that must have been the echo.

Okay, that's just the funniest thing I've ever read on this forum. And the old forum. Any forum. Well done, Emii!

Thankies!

Elita mouth is so big when she drools in her sleep she wakes up to find she's singed her hair on the lightbulb.

Elita's mouth is so big it's a habitat for a whole community of Brollachans.

Elita's mouth is so big the trolls use it as a bidet - that's why it's so foul!