Knightmare.com

Thanks, Annie. Having done a well-received parody of one of that artist's songs before, I'll admit I was holding up a lightning rod and hoping for seconds. I did hope to make it a trilogy but the other two are presently stuck in mental traffic, so in the meantime...

Official recordingl* (I, Don Quixote from the musical Man of La Mancha)

Hear me now, oh thou bleak and most challenging realm
Thou art based on a blue screen none see
Time is right for advent'rers with knapsack and Helm
And thirsting to be on TV

I am I, Treguard Dunshelm
Lord of Knightmare Castle
My quest any fool cannot do
So don't die dungeoneering
Through tunnel and clearing
Or I'll say "Ooh nasty" on cue
I'll say "Ooh nasty" on cue
Could get quite gory for you

I'm Pickle, yes I'm Pickle
I'll follow my master like a fan
I'll tell all the realm proudly
His beard's real but - not his tan

Hear, behemoths and wizards and servants of fear
For your dastardly doings will pass
Thanks to blindfolded children I'll send forth from here
While I stay behind on my.. throne

I am I, Treguard Dunshelm
Lord of Knightmare Castle
My quest any fool cannot do
So don't die dungeoneering
Through tunnel and clearing
Or I'll say "Ooh nasty" on cue
I'll say "Ooh nasty" on cue
Could get quite gory for you


*Versions by Scott Bakula and John Barrowman are also around. You might find one ever so slightly more accomplished than the other.

Here's a funny idea. What if all of Lord Fear's advisors got together and sang 'It's the Hard Knock Life'.
As some dungeoneers would say, "I challenge"! I want to see if anyone can come up with some lyrics for that. I would myself but I'm not an expert at composing so I'm stumped.