They would never say...

[Fidjit]

Dungeoneer dies when he falls into a pit...

Advisor: "Oooh, Nasty"

[rich_guy55]

A blocker- Ooo, i've just been reading an article on the dangers of red meat. I don't think i'll feed on you, tubby.

[Fidjit]

Treguard: Oh come on team I don't need to tell you everything!

[Scott_Wilkinson]

Dungeoneer (Riding on Smirkenorff): Can you land?

Smirkenorff: If you use some manners, I will.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Dungeoneer (Riding on Smirkenorff): Abashcraft.

Smirkenorff: What's that supposed to mean? Backwards, forwards or blast off. Speak English.

[Lord_Bob]

(dungeoneer to Smirkenoff alternate)
Dungeoneer: Can you land?
Smirky: Of course I CAN, It would be pretty useless if I could take off but not land. However if you mean WILL I land then you should say so, do they not teach English anymore you silly child?

[MPK]

Whilst we're on the theme;

Smirky; "Alright what do you have for me? Oh great, another green gem! What I always wanted! I dont know, I just said to Elita that I thought green gems were pretty, that doesnt mean that I wanted one. And then everybody thought all they had to do to get a ride of me was to give me a green gem! I'm a dragon, what use is a green gem to a dragon?!"

[Lord_Bob]

Elita in Shakespeare;
Elita: Romeo Romeo, where art thou you blooming faceache.

Romeo: It is my love

Elita: You're smart you scumpot!

[Scott_Wilkinson]

Morghana: So, Martin, you've come this far in the dungeons, but I'll let you win. After all, there's been no winners this season.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Smirkenorff: Sorry, I can't fly right now, I have a huge pain in my wings.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Majida: I really like you Treguard, let's get married.

[Lord_Bob]

Think the Martin one has already been done by Zagor
 

Morghanna: "Ah, I'm feeling generous Martin, since no-one has won on Series 3 yet I shall let you pass without being hurt."

[Drassil]

(This one probably belongs in the Jokes thread...)

Pickle: 'Master, what's that scent you're wearing?'
Treguard: 'Hugo Boss.'

[Lord_Bob]

Nice one  ;D

[FrightKnight]

S1:
Room 1:

Advisor: You're in a room, and there's four exits; one seems to have a skull on, another has got a quest item icon, another has got a bomb on it and there's a fire exit on the far right.
Dungeoneer: Well, weren't we told to always take the right path?
Advisor 2: I'm not sure if that's-
Advisor 1: Yes, let's take the fire exit...

(Dungeoneer goes through fire exit and ends up  backstage, near exit of studios)
Folly is smoking a cigarette and Lillith is flirting with one of the stage crew

Folly: At least one of us should not be here...

[Drassil]

[Sir Hugh has fallen over in Wolfenden. Sylvester Hands walks past.]

Sir Hugh: I say - excuse me!

Hands: Yeah? What've I done?

Sir Hugh: Yes, hello. I've had another run-in with Hordriss. He's cast a spell so that my feet are now attached to my wrists, whilst my hands are attached to my ankles. Deucedly difficult to walk - that's why I've fallen over. I'm Sir Hugh de Wittless. Who might you be?

Hands: I'm Sylvester 'Ands. Y'know, 'ands, like feet, but...

[Lord_Bob]

Ha ha, great work. My ideas have run dry for the moment.

[HStorm]

I don't think this one's been done yet (and actually, now I think about, it may belong on the "I had a silly idea" thread).

Lord Fear:  "Any last, weak, grovelly requests before I squish you up extra crispy with a fireball, little Dungeoneer?"

Dungeoneer:  "Well if I have to go out, I'd like to go out on a song..."

Lord Fear:  "Oh how predictably pathetic. Go on then, get it over with, then I'll shrivel you down to the size of a silverfish's genital warts..."

Dungeoneer:   "There may be trouble aheeeead...
But while there's moonlight and music
And love and romaaaaance...
Let's face the music... and dance!"