A great Knightmare joke...

For all the comedians out there.
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Emii
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by Emii »

Suck up.  ;D
"The alarm, Master! The opposition's tracked them! Oh good grief...look - Lord Fear's frozen Christopher!"
Fidjit
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by Fidjit »

What does that mean...!  >:(
If the only way is onward how would you get home for tea?? :-/
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by Drassil »

Elita's mouth (that is, the mouth of the TV character, and not of the Forum member!) is so big that when she coughs, Tecwen Whittock tells her to shut up.

Elita's mouth is so big that her food has time to run away before she bites into it.

Elita's mouth is so big that if it were a Smiley (and I use the term loosely) it would require a 56-inch computer monitor.  :)
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JamesA
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by JamesA »

Elita's mouth is so big you can fit Mount Everest in it

Elita's mouth is so big that its been decided that it will now house the entire defunct Concorde fleet

Elita's mouth is so big it can drink all the water out of the Nile
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by Elita »

Elita's mouth (that is, the mouth of the TV character, and not of the Forum member!) is so big that when she coughs, Tecwen Whittock tells her to shut up.
I resent the insinuation that I DON'T have a big mouth! I'm every bit as foul-mouthed as the character herself! (ask that slagrat Grimaldine if you don't belive me!) And I'm not offended at all Motley, if I was any less offended then... uhm... well a suitable metaphor currently escapes me, so let's just say I'm not offended.  ;)

Well, we've discussed how big Elita's mouth is, but as we all know, it's pretty foul too. In fact, Elita's mouth is so foul, even Sylvester Hands has better hygiene!
"Gentlemen! Please! You can fight like itsy bitsy babies later. Right now we have adult name-calling and mud-slinging to attend to."
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GrimaldineGrimwold
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by GrimaldineGrimwold »


I resent the insinuation that I DON'T have a big mouth! I'm every bit as foul-mouthed as the character herself! (ask that slagrat Grimaldine if you don't belive me!)
Oh Heavens to Hordriss, Elita's mouth is so big it doesn't return the Queen's phone calls, so gigantic that David Attenborough's filmed a whole series about the multitude of creatures that lurk within its depths, so big  that Lissard accidentally walked into it thinking it was another entrance to the Sewers of Goth and so filthy that even he washed his hands when he came out.
 
Festus, the elfbitch is insulting Mummy again...
"Sometimes of the Grey, but always of the Green, dearie. Shurrup Brollachan! Have you seen Festus, my dear? I need to take him back to Cornwall. " [cackle]
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by Elita »

Festus, the elfbitch is insulting Mummy again...
Smirkenorff, there's a nice, fat quasi-canine over here for you to eat... Actually, that thing looks like it might give poor old Smirky food-poisoning...
"Gentlemen! Please! You can fight like itsy bitsy babies later. Right now we have adult name-calling and mud-slinging to attend to."
- Dr. Nightmare, Attorney at Law
GrimaldineGrimwold
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by GrimaldineGrimwold »

Just as Frightknights are immune to Pixies, in my assessment, multi-headed quasi-canines are immune to dragon's breath and bites. Just don't insult him, dearie. His ego is easily bruised, what with being quite the UGLIEST creature ever to enter the dungeon.

Oh, well, apart from yourself, of course, dearie. I'm sure the plastic surgeon in Wolfenden could make your mouth smaller, though, my dear. Care to buy a map of how to get there?  
Last edited by GrimaldineGrimwold on 24 Oct 2003, 06:18, edited 1 time in total.
"Sometimes of the Grey, but always of the Green, dearie. Shurrup Brollachan! Have you seen Festus, my dear? I need to take him back to Cornwall. " [cackle]
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by Elita »

Oh, well, apart from yourself, of course, dearie. I'm sure the plastic surgeon in Wolfenden could make your mouth smaller, though, my dear. Care to but a map of how to get there?  
Nice try, but it's just over there... *points to "Welcome to Wolfenden" sign 50 yards away* Besides, every time I go there I end up locked in a box!

And in your case, I'd recommend a nose-job. Faceache.
"Gentlemen! Please! You can fight like itsy bitsy babies later. Right now we have adult name-calling and mud-slinging to attend to."
- Dr. Nightmare, Attorney at Law
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by GrimaldineGrimwold »

I see that among its other strange phobias, the censor doesn't like "my ass". Oh yes, you can stop chuckling at the back. I didn't mean it like that.

And I'll post "I don't blame it!" before some wisecracking elf or calling name says it first. ;)
Last edited by GrimaldineGrimwold on 24 Oct 2003, 06:22, edited 1 time in total.
"Sometimes of the Grey, but always of the Green, dearie. Shurrup Brollachan! Have you seen Festus, my dear? I need to take him back to Cornwall. " [cackle]
Lowebo
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by Lowebo »

Elita's mouth is so big that it IS the Knightmare!
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Drassil
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by Drassil »

Elita's mouth is so big that Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote a musical about it. This was later made into a movie starring Madonna (as Ela Peron) and Antonio Banderas (as someone else). Madonna then charted with her version of the song, 'Don't Scream For Me, Argentina'.  :o

Elita's mouth is so big that whenever someone's boomerang doesn't come back, the chances are it's in Elita's mouth.

Elita's mouth is so big that when ?Stephanie Hesp was asked to appear in pantomime, they ended up performing in her mouth. (With apologies to Ms. Hesp, who plays the character of Elita very effectively.  :) )

Elita's mouth is so big that when she needs to floss, she hires tightrope walkers.

---

Elita's mouth is so big that astronauts on the DSP (Dunshelm Space Program) predicted that it's possible to see it from space...

...But this remains a theory, as no DSP rocket has ever been able to escape the mouth's gravity and make it into orbit.

Elita's mouth is so big that it took a collagen injection at a strength of 7.5 LAs (Lesley Ashes) before her lips felt the least bit fuller.

Elita's mouth is so big that when she announced she was planning to have a mouthwatering meal, Treguard got flood insurance.
Last edited by Drassil on 20 Sep 2005, 17:39, edited 1 time in total.
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JamesA
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by JamesA »

Elita's mouth is so big that it's been reported that Osama Bin Laden has taken up residence somewhere inside it
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Lord_Bob

Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by Lord_Bob »

Elita's mouth is so big that Lord fear's ego can fit in it quite comfortably
Last edited by Lord_Bob on 25 Oct 2003, 18:48, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Elita's Mouth...

Post by Snowwiewolf »

(no-offence) Elitas mouth is soo big that it has its own ekosystem
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