Anyway, here's one of my rare contributions: a parody of Remedy by the gorgeous Little Boots. The lyrics are here among other places, and there's an extremely trippy video here.
Some of the lines don't scan, but I think it'd work with a few overdubs.
I can see you talking to the dungeoneers
You weren't here before
I guess you're new to Knightmare for Series 6
Weren't in 5 or 4
'Cause you are beefing up the cast
I wonder if you'll last?
She was poisoned, trapped, bewitched and outwitted
And her dress was refitted
Played by Iona Kennedy, Kennedy
Oh
Sidriss was confused, Hordriss was bemused
His daughter was dim
Played by Iona Kennedy, Kennedy
Oh
Watchers watching her, playing the mage daughter
Iona Kennedy
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Watchers watching her, strangest new character
Iona Kennedy
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Give her respect, treat her as a queen
That's what she wants from you
She's difficult but you found the witch amber
She'll give you the clue
She always tried to neutralise
But Fear told too many lies
Opposition's not her true position
Fear was her attrition
Played by Iona Kennedy, Kennedy
Oh
You'd better start paying or Greystagg's not playing
She's the Witch Queen
Played by Iona Kennedy, Kennedy
Oh
Watchers watching her, arguing with Lord Fear
Iona Kennedy
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Watchers watching her, strangest new character
Iona Kennedy
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
La la le da la de la
Da da da da de da da
And now the seasons change again
Series 8 will be OK
Character's haughty, wants to reign
Maldame
Make alliance, give her your compliance
That's what Lord Fear tried once
Played by Iona Kennedy, Kennedy
Oh
Her calling name is Spite, but you'd better not try it
Dragons? Whatever!
Played by Iona Kennedy, Kennedy
Oh
Watchers watching her, from her high tower
Iona Kennedy
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Watchers watching her, strangest new character
Iona Kennedy
Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
(repeat to fade)