Parody of Three Lions + Parklife + Town Called Malice

[Drassil]

Thanks.

I hear that there's a team on a new quest for the Cup. So here's a parody of a song for the occasion. The song is of course Three Lions (Football's Coming Home).

[Sound clips of pessimistic 'commentary' from Knightmare, e.g. Treguard discussing a losing team; in particular, soundbites which seem football-related, like Treguard telling Simon's team in S4 that manoeuvring wasn't their strong point, or Lord Fear saying "two-nil I think" when Team 2 of S7 dies.]

It's coming home
It's coming home
It's coming
Knightmare's coming home
It's coming home
It's coming home
It's coming
Knightmare's coming home
It's coming home
It's coming home
It's coming
Knightmare's coming home...

Everyone seems to know the gore
They've seen it all before
They just know, they're so sure
That Knightmare won't come back on TV
Won't be on DVD
I mean 'out legally'
But I remember

Three levels in the game
Hugo Myatt staring
Fridays aren't the same
Never stopped me caring

So many blades, so many spears
And losing dungeoneers
Wore you down through the years
But I still see the food on the ground
And when Ben won the Crown
Hear the spellcasting sound
And Barry's talking

Three levels in the game
Hugo Myatt staring
Twenty years of fame
Nothing stopped me caring

[Uplifting audio clips, e.g. Treguard/Merlin/Pickle praising a successful team.]

I know that was then
But it could be again

It's coming home
It's coming home
It's coming
Knightmare's coming home
It's coming home
It's coming home
It's coming
Knightmare's coming home
It's coming home
It's coming home...

[etc.]

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[The following is amalgamated from a post made on Thursday 20 July 2006, 18:45, to negate the double posting.]

Based on Parklife by Blur. Music video

"Adoration is a preference for the habitual
voyeur of what is known as..."
Knightmare
"And dull childhood can be avoided if you take
a route straight through what is known as..."
Knightmare
"Pickle's got pointy ears, he gets intimidated by
the dirty goblins, they love a bit of it!"
Knightmare
"Who's that ogre marching? You should cut down on
your clubbing, mate, get some exercise!"

All the people
So many people
They all go helm on head
Helm on head through their
Knightmare

"Know what I mean?"

"I get up when I want, except on Fridays when I get rudely awakened by the genie."
Knightmare
"I put my jerkin on, have a cup of mead and I think about whetting the sword."
Knightmare
"I feed the dwarves, I sometimes feed the pookas too, it gives me a sense of enormous wellbeing."
Knightmare
"And then I'm ready for the quest of the day, safe in the knowledge
there will always be a bit of my heart devoted to it."

All the people
So many people
They all go helm on head
Helm on head through their
Knightmare

"It's got nothing to do with Children's BBC you know.
And it's not about you Blue Peter presenters, who go on and on and on..."

All the people
So many people
They all go helm on head
Helm on head through their
Knightmare...

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[The following is amalgamated from a post made on Wednesday 02 August 2006, 18:28, to negate the double posting.]

I always thought that Town Called Malice by The Jam (video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfpRm-p7qlY) needed to have a KM parody, so here it is. It's about Dickon & co's winning Series 4 quest.

Better stop dreaming of the painted rooms
'Cos it's a time we'll never know
And quit looking for that runaway cart
'Cos those rosy days are through
And stop apologising that this isn't Series 3
'Cos time is short and life is cruel
But it's up to us to take
The Crown of Malice

Tubes and jars of coloured potions
Sit waiting in the wizard's yard
And a monk fresh from a tavern
Clutching the green brandy to his heart
Turning to a scaly lizard down on Level Two
It's enough to make you keep believing
When fears come fast and furious
Of the Crown of Malice

Struggle after struggle, day after day
The atmosphere's a fine blend of pink
I'm down to Life Force Red
For the Crown of Malice

A whole team's belief that Dickon's the chief
Comes true within the Dungeon
Because I got past the blades and the Dungeon maids
It's a big advancement to the Crown of Malice

Duress of a sorceress is on my back
She's at the moment set on my end
Then FIRE takes her down
Poison pours and Weeping Doors
Three levels in the bag
I could tell this to others and I probably will
'Cause I want them all to know we
Got the Crown of Malice