They would never say...
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- Fright Knight
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Re: They would never say...
Dungeoneer: I think I'll just lie down here for a moment...
If the only way is onward how would you get home for tea?? 

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- Senior Staff
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Re: They would never say...
Aesandre: Cor blimey, it's a bit taters! Brrr. I'd better stick the 'eating on.
*****
[Merlin walks into the hairdressers: Haircare By Giles.]
Giles: Hello, Sir, what can I do for you?
Merlin: Ah, yes, I'm hoping for a change of style. Please give me... a Hordriss! [Merlin chuckles]
[Giles presses a button, and seat restraints shoot across Merlin's chair.]
Giles: A Pat Sharp, did you say, Sir? OK then...
*****
[Merlin walks into the hairdressers: Haircare By Giles.]
Giles: Hello, Sir, what can I do for you?
Merlin: Ah, yes, I'm hoping for a change of style. Please give me... a Hordriss! [Merlin chuckles]
[Giles presses a button, and seat restraints shoot across Merlin's chair.]
Giles: A Pat Sharp, did you say, Sir? OK then...
Last edited by Drassil on 29 Jan 2004, 22:30, edited 1 time in total.
Knightmare: Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.
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- Level 3 Dungeoneer
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Re: They would never say...
Majilda; "You know, I really am quite speechless! I dont know what to say!" :D
Once again returning... and once again going just as fast!
http://www.abadeducation.com
http://www.abadeducation.com
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Re: They would never say...
Aesandre: Lord Fear, your courtship grows tiresome. I have snowmen in Winteria more appealing than you.
Lord Fear: How dare you? I... I don't know what to say.
Aesandre: Try expressing yourself through 1980s popular music lyrics.
Lord Fear: I must say, Queen Aesandre, that [gets up and sings, with backing music kicking in] 'You're as cold as ice, you're willing to sacrifice our love...'
Lord Fear: How dare you? I... I don't know what to say.
Aesandre: Try expressing yourself through 1980s popular music lyrics.
Lord Fear: I must say, Queen Aesandre, that [gets up and sings, with backing music kicking in] 'You're as cold as ice, you're willing to sacrifice our love...'
Knightmare: Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.
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- Level 1 Dungeoneer
- Posts: 85
- Joined: 09 Mar 2003, 17:33
- Location: Leytonstone, London
Re: They would never say...
Treguard: Why don't we do what the french do on Le Chevalier du Labyrinthe for a change? Which means, if your dungeoneer loses, I pick one of you advisors to be the next dungeoneer.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
(Clip from Le Chevalier du Labyrinthe.)
Master of the Castle: (Edited) Bouffo, why are you going to the toilet for?
Bouffo (Jester): Oui Oui.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
(Clip from Le Chevalier du Labyrinthe.)
Master of the Castle: (Edited) Bouffo, why are you going to the toilet for?
Bouffo (Jester): Oui Oui.
The number one Children's programme of all time for me is, was and always will be the one and only... Knightmare.
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- Fright Knight
- Posts: 1932
- Joined: 06 Mar 2003, 10:27
- Location: Isle of Wight
Re: They would never say...
Skarkill rushing in with a laser blaster! :D
If the only way is onward how would you get home for tea?? 

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- Dungeoneer
- Posts: 10
- Joined: 16 Nov 2003, 21:18
Re: They would never say...
Lord Fear to Lissard: Oh damn it, I can't scare any dungeoneers today Lissard, as I am due to address the House of Lords about the Fox Hunting Bill. Will you take charge of things in my absence?
Lissard: Most certainly your master-ness. I will breathe my tuna breath-ness on those kids-ness. That will knock them out instantly-ness
Lissard: Most certainly your master-ness. I will breathe my tuna breath-ness on those kids-ness. That will knock them out instantly-ness
Re: They would never say...
Dungeoneer: (To advisors) Ok guys your in a room, in it is a an with a tan and beard and an elf who looks confused.
- HStorm
- Fright Knight
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Re: They would never say...
[End of episode]
Treguard: Will our team survive into level three? Or will Lord Fear triumph once more? There's only one way to find out. Isn't there?
[Credits roll.]
Elmo from Sesame Street: [V.O.] This episode of Knightmare was brought to you in association with the letter E, and with the number two!
Treguard: Will our team survive into level three? Or will Lord Fear triumph once more? There's only one way to find out. Isn't there?
[Credits roll.]
Elmo from Sesame Street: [V.O.] This episode of Knightmare was brought to you in association with the letter E, and with the number two!
Knightmare Audio Plays from The Dunshelm Players.
Re: They would never say...
(S8)
Treguard: Team, you need food soon, cake force is fading!
Advisors: Right, in the top right is a cake, jump up and grab it
*Dungeoneer grabs the cake force animation and places it in his sack, the life force face re-appears*
Treguard: Well done team, you've redeemed the life force face by defeating the evil cake!
Treguard: Team, you need food soon, cake force is fading!
Advisors: Right, in the top right is a cake, jump up and grab it
*Dungeoneer grabs the cake force animation and places it in his sack, the life force face re-appears*
Treguard: Well done team, you've redeemed the life force face by defeating the evil cake!
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- Senior Staff
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Re: They would never say...
[Another one that may be better off in the KM Jokes Thread, if anywhere...]
Dungeoneer: Excuse me, Pickle, but why is Treguard sitting on your head?
Pickle: This is Hugo, my hatt.
Dungeoneer: Excuse me, Pickle, but why is Treguard sitting on your head?
Pickle: This is Hugo, my hatt.
Last edited by Drassil on 08 Mar 2004, 23:25, edited 1 time in total.
Knightmare: Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.
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- Fright Knight
- Posts: 1932
- Joined: 06 Mar 2003, 10:27
- Location: Isle of Wight
Re: They would never say...
Team 2 Series 2 - Encounters ghost in clue room!
Treguard: Oh dear, you needed Cedrics magic for survival but I'm afraid you've...
(Dungeoneer is on the phone and puts down the receiver after a while)
Dungeoneer: Don't worry everyone... WHO YE GONNA CALL?
In runs Peter from the GHOSTBUSTERS he unleashes an immense bolt from his partical eliminator... Before chucking out a trap to retreive the ghost
Peter: Thanks, we we're short on work lately!
Treguard looks on in a surprised way
Treguard: Very impressive team!
(Sorry I was listening to Ghostbusters at the time, the idea just came out of my head... ;D)
Treguard: Oh dear, you needed Cedrics magic for survival but I'm afraid you've...
(Dungeoneer is on the phone and puts down the receiver after a while)
Dungeoneer: Don't worry everyone... WHO YE GONNA CALL?
In runs Peter from the GHOSTBUSTERS he unleashes an immense bolt from his partical eliminator... Before chucking out a trap to retreive the ghost
Peter: Thanks, we we're short on work lately!
Treguard looks on in a surprised way
Treguard: Very impressive team!
(Sorry I was listening to Ghostbusters at the time, the idea just came out of my head... ;D)
If the only way is onward how would you get home for tea?? 

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- Level 1 Dungeoneer
- Posts: 85
- Joined: 09 Mar 2003, 17:33
- Location: Leytonstone, London
Re: They would never say...
The year is 2004, Treguard & Pickle are still waiting for a new series.
Treguard: Looks like we're gonna be here for a long time, Pickle. Why don't we watch this new movie I've got? It's called "Sexual Experiences" starring Phil McRackin.
Treguard: Looks like we're gonna be here for a long time, Pickle. Why don't we watch this new movie I've got? It's called "Sexual Experiences" starring Phil McRackin.
The number one Children's programme of all time for me is, was and always will be the one and only... Knightmare.
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- Senior Staff
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Re: They would never say...
Advisors: Where are we?
Dungeoneer: OK, you're in a small castle-type room. Don't worry, you're not going to fall off anything. In front of you there's like a screen. To your right, there's a man with a beard, sitting in a stationary chair, and next to him there's another man, dressed in green... There's some stuff in front of you, so look downward... side-glance slightly to your left... stop. Can you see what it is?
Advisors: Yes, there are three clipboards, with paper and pencils.
Dungeoneer: OK, pick up the clipboards and put them on your laps. And hold the pencils... one each.
Advisors: What shall we do now? Shall we talk to the man?
Dungeoneer: Er... OK. Side-glance to your left... no, sorry, your right... Stop.
Treguard: Whose idea was this, please?
[Merlin runs through the antechamber with a strait jacket and a Father Christmas hat on.]
Dungeoneer: OK, you're in a small castle-type room. Don't worry, you're not going to fall off anything. In front of you there's like a screen. To your right, there's a man with a beard, sitting in a stationary chair, and next to him there's another man, dressed in green... There's some stuff in front of you, so look downward... side-glance slightly to your left... stop. Can you see what it is?
Advisors: Yes, there are three clipboards, with paper and pencils.
Dungeoneer: OK, pick up the clipboards and put them on your laps. And hold the pencils... one each.
Advisors: What shall we do now? Shall we talk to the man?
Dungeoneer: Er... OK. Side-glance to your left... no, sorry, your right... Stop.
Treguard: Whose idea was this, please?
[Merlin runs through the antechamber with a strait jacket and a Father Christmas hat on.]
Knightmare: Kid-worthy, Naasty, Inspiring, Groundbreaking, Humorous, Treguard, Mesmerising, Adult-worthy, Rewarding, Essential.
- HStorm
- Fright Knight
- Posts: 2846
- Joined: 30 Nov 2003, 13:12
- Location: Salford, UK
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Re: They would never say...
[End of a quest.]
Treguard: "What a shame, team, but I'm afraid you've lost this battle. Majida, the staff."
Majida: "Right chief!"
Treguard: [Bellows.] "And don't call me 'chief'!"
Majida: "Sorry 'bout that, chief..."
Treguard: "What a shame, team, but I'm afraid you've lost this battle. Majida, the staff."
Majida: "Right chief!"
Treguard: [Bellows.] "And don't call me 'chief'!"
Majida: "Sorry 'bout that, chief..."
Knightmare Audio Plays from The Dunshelm Players.
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