Parody of The Giver by Chappell Roan

[Drassil]

A goblin auditions. Based on The Giver by Chappell Roan (2025). Official video; Original lyrics

Ain't got brains and ain't got brawn
But I've got a goblin horn
That I blow on the hunt for a Friday bite
And I'll track kids down any path
From dwarvish tunnels to Dungarth
As agile as an underfed cat

So Skarkill
When you need a quest done
You can call me, Skarkill

'Cause you won't wanna smell me
But I'll elev-ate ya
And none will overtake ya, 'cause Skarkill I'm a Grippa
If you have to wash me, it's sewers not a river
Ain't no cavernwight critter
The dungeoneer's done
From Banburn to Dunn

Hey I don't need arachnid struts
Or mechanics in my guts
'Cause how I look is how I hunt
And in the Dungeon of Deceit
Good luck finding a goblin who can beat
An elfstone's lure all Friday long

So Skarkill
Start your squad off with one
Hire me, Skarkill

'Cause I don't laze at wellways
Moving's in my nature
So tame me like a tamer, 'cause Skarkill I'm a Grippa
Don't need much to feed me, just dung and human liver
Ain't no greedy Fatilla
I'm nobody's hun
Though clubbing is fun

The dungeoneer's done

'Cause you don't need to tempt me
I'm not here to date ya
Don't treat me like a talker, 'cause Skarkill I'm a Grippa
I've evaded Gwendoline, while she exhausts her quiver
There's no faerie that's fitter
I'm second to none
From Three up to One

Good hygiene I shun
The quests are undone
Oh and Rhark's my plus-one
So man, will I do?
You're lovely